


Now I'm Here (Katie's POV)

by newsoftheworld



Series: Now I'm Here [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Cognitive Dissonance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Pining, Self-Loathing, Slow Burn, Smut, Tour life, a lil bit of fluff, apologies in advance, as historically-accurate as possible, i guess it gets pretty explicit in some chapters, loosely based on Peaches, lotsa angsty shit, originally intended to be three one-shots but here we are, real timeline is followed as closely as possible, the bars actually exist, the gigs are real, the rest is my imagination, unintended groupie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-10-07 11:11:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17364842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newsoftheworld/pseuds/newsoftheworld
Summary: in which Brian, try as he might, can't keep from emotionally tying himself to women he meets on tourin which Katie, an unintentional groupie, becomes hopelessly entangled in the life of a rock star whose heart she can never fully attain–– an attempt at writing something that could have been (my take on Brian/Peaches)





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for checking this out – it's my first fic in a long, long time so I hope it's not too messy. Constructive criticism is my lifeblood for writing stuff like this so let me know what you think in the comments :)

_**May 4, 1974** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

 

She had been to a few rock concerts in her youth, but in no way had they prepared Katie for the blinding flashes of white light and clouds of dry ice that were currently assaulting her senses. _Who is this group again?_ she thought, blinking the surprise from her eyes. Next to her, Stacy vibrated in place. “I’ve heard the opening act is actually quite good. A bit odd, but good,” she whispered excitedly into Katie's ear. “Queen, I think their name is? What a strange name for a rock group.”

A heavy, electric chord cut through the smoke, sending sonic waves bouncing off the walls of the relatively-small venue. The electricity was palpable. Katie looked on expectantly, tugging at the hemline of her dress in anticipation. Suddenly, four figures appeared on stage. Shrouded in the white smoke, a voice began to sing as the strumming continued and the drums and bass joined in. Eyes straining, she was able to put a face to the owner of the beautifully-clear voice that effortlessly filled the room with its sheer volume. The face that looked back at her was a bit of a surprise—a sharp, pointed nose, a broad chin shaped by one of the most defined jaw lines she had ever seen, a sizable overbite, shoulder-length jet black hair, and ravenous eyes framed by thick, dark lashes. In addition, he was clad in sleek, black clothes from head to toe: leather tights and a long-sleeved v-neck adorned with glittering gems. Katie was certain she'd never seen a man so peculiar, so distinct, and so oddly beautiful.

The band got into their groove as the smoke settled around them, revealing each member to the audience. The singer brandished a severed microphone stand in his hands as he belted melodious poetry into it. “It looks as if they’re all wearing make-up, doesn’t it?” Katie observed curiously, nudging her friend.

“Oh...! You’re right. I’m not sure if I like it,” Stacy mused, moving her hips to the beat. “Just wait till Mott the Hoople plays their set - god they’re handsome.”

She quietly disagreed—the make-up seemed to suit them quite well. In fact, combined with their dark-colored, fairytale-esque wardrobe, she thought it made them look hot as fuck. As they finished the first number and moved onto their next song, she began to zone in on each member individually. The drummer seemed a bit cocky from the few glimpses she got of his shaggy blonde hair and baby face between the cymbals. The bass player seemed quite the opposite of the lead singer's showy, bold stage presence—he stationed himself to the left of the stage and stayed relatively unmoving throughout the show, tapping his foot along to the beat of his instrument.

But it was the guitar player that especially caught her attention. He was definitely a lot slimmer than most men she fancied, but the way he seemed so completely immersed in his playing was intriguing. He seemed to tower over the rest of the band, but Katie couldn’t tell whether that was because he was wearing heels—heels!—or if he was just naturally gigantic. To top it all off, the unruly bush of black curls that framed his sharp facial features could not have been any more perfectly arranged. She was so engrossed in watching his every movement that when he looked up from his fretboard and into the crowd, she quickly tore her gaze away, casting her eyes to the floor. _God, what is wrong with me? He’s performing in front of a crowd, he’s used to people staring, dumbass_ she thought, cheeks flushing pink. She wondered if Stacy would be able to introduce her––if she knew anything about her friend, it was that she could not resist matchmaking. It also helped that Stacy was no stranger to the main act. In fact, she had a bit of an ongoing relationship with the lead singer––mainly sexual, from what Katie gathered. This meant getting access to Queen could be easy… but the last thing Katie needed right now was an awkward introduction by her overly-enthusiastic friend to an attractive guitarist miles out of her league. Besides, she had work tomorrow morning. Still, he was handsome, in an unconventional sort of way. And the way his lithe, long fingers expertly slid their way up and down the strings…

“Oh good, I think they’re finished.” Stacy’s impatient voice interrupted Katie’s spiraling train of thought. “Do I look okay? Has my hair gone flat?? Oh god, my mascara must’ve smeared-”

  
“Relaaaaax, you look amazing as usual,” Katie said reassuringly, squeezing her hand. “What's so important about this guy anyway? He’s just a man with an over-inflated ego who happens to be in a band. You could definitely do better than him, Stace.” Her friend rolled her eyes at her as Queen ended their set with a cacophony of cymbals and a triad of delayed power chords that ripped forcefully through the cheap speakers. The crowd broke into a wild roar.

“Ever the cynic,” Stacy remarked as they began clapping. “You know, it's alright to go crazy over a man! You don't need to be so serious about it all the time—they don't need to be adonis for you to have a bit of fun. Loosen up a bit, hm?” she teased, playfully poking Katie in the ribs.

“Mmm. Speaking of adonis, what did you think of the guitarist?” Katie accidentally let her previous thoughts invade their conversation over the thunderous applause. Whoops.

  
Stacy wrinkled her nose, head tilting in thought as her eyes landed on the source of her friend’s question. “Hmm. That lanky twig of a man? I guess he's alright, in an awkward sort of way..”

  
Katie scoffed, unconsciously combing her fingers through her auburn hair as her eyes followed the guitarist offstage. “Doesn't his hair look like he's just finished having sex? I wonder if it's always like that. I'd love to run my hands through it,” she whispered conspiringly, drawing a surprised giggle out of her friend.

“We never did have much similarity in our taste in men,” Stacy laughed. “Look!” She pointed towards the stage as the next band, presumably Mott the Hoople, sauntered on stage—a stark difference from Queen’s theatrical entrance. “There's Ian! God he's so fucking hot, I can't wait to meet up with him after the show. It's been so longgggg, I hope he remembers me.”

Katie wasn't sure they were looking at the same man. The object of Stacy’s desires was donned in greasy, dirty-blonde curls and wore large sunglasses and a smirk that seemed to radiate cockiness. He lazily stepped up to the mic, hands resting on his guitar which was slung dangerously low on his hips. “Hello, beautiful people,” he drawled, looking out into the crowd. “Great to be in Waterbury tonight. I hope you're ready to rock!” He emphasized this sentiment with a roll of his hips.

As he struck the first few notes on his guitar, he found Stacy’s eyes in the crowd and winked. She audibly swooned next to Katie and joined her voice with the shouts and screams of every other female in the room. Katie sighed in resignation—it was gonna be a long set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to cut this chapter a bit short because it would've been extremely long otherwise, heh.  
> As always, feedback is much appreciated! Enjoy some of the good ol' character introductions we all know and love

_**May 4, 1974** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

 

“They should be here any minute.” Stacy leaned against the brick wall, legs crossed daintily. Mott the Hoople had finished and the crowd had long dispersed out into the night. “It always takes an ungodly amount of time for them to pack up their instruments.” She looked over her shoulder at Katie, her blue eyes sparkling excitedly in the moonlight. “I bet they’ll all be going to the White Parrot, it's by far the best bar in Waterbury. They’ll invite us to join, and then maybe you can meet your raven-haired adonis.”

Katie glanced at her surroundings, her heart beating a bit faster than normal. _What am I doing here?_ Stacy had dragged her to the back entrance of the theatre before the final song had breathed its last breath, determined to spend time with Ian. Katie semi-reluctantly agreed to tag along and be introduced to the captivating guitarist, so long as Stacy didn’t make the interaction forced. She didn’t want to intrude and anyway, the likelihood that he was romantically available was next to none—not with those looks.

She felt like such a groupie, waiting in the shadows of the cramped alley for the men to inevitably show up and expect to be lavished with attention. She hadn’t yet decided if being a groupie was something she wanted to be––the connotation was so negative. A single street lamp shone its soft yellow light into the night, painting eerie pictures onto the dusty brick wall in front of them. “They sure are taking their sweet time. I have work tomorrow, you know. Doesn’t matter how attractive that man is, I can’t be late to the editor’s office again,” Katie mused, recalling the last warning her boss had given her about her tardiness. She appreciated her first job out of college immensely, and she couldn't afford to be fired.

Catching a glimpse of her freckled face in the dirty glass of a nearby window, she wondered how common it was for these men to have women waiting for them after gigs. Did she look the type? The dress she had chosen for the concert made it seem plausible—the skin-tight, olive-colored a-line dress was something she had only worn once before, at her cousin’s wedding. It didn't scream "sex" but it wasn't conservative enough to dismiss the possibility either. She chided herself for thinking this way––It’s not that she didn’t appreciate the occasional hookup, she just hated when men who expect it right off the bat receive it without putting in any work. Where was the fun in that?

The sound of muffled footsteps and deep voices trickled out from behind the wooden door. Katie shivered––because of the chilly air or the anticipation, she wasn’t sure. “Stacy, please don’t be weird,” she begged. “I don’t want this to be a whole thing.”

“Pfft, whatever you say,” Stacy replied in a sing-songy voice, cherry-red lips grinning knowingly at her friend. The door opened and out spilled five boisterous, sweaty men. They pulled a heavy cart of electronics behind them and were chattering up a storm––the large amount of testosterone and raw energy they radiated was uncanny. The familiar sunglasses-clad face of Ian Hunter loomed in front of Katie as he slid them down the bridge of his nose in order to get a better look at her. “Well,” he started, “so this is the talent, then.” His beady brown eyes raked Katie up and down, making her squirm.

“Ian!” Stacy chided, grabbing his attention––and his arm––and whisking him, mercifully, out of Katie’s face and into her awaiting arms. As they reunited over a profuse amount of loud, hungry kisses, his four bandmates turned to Katie.

“You Stacy’s friend?” one of them chuckled, extending his broad hand toward her. “I’m Mick.”

She peeled herself from the grimy wall and found her voice. “Yeah, I’m Katie. Great set back there, I really enjoyed it,” she half-lied as she shook his hand. He grinned back at her and she decided they weren’t all that bad to look at. “That band you’re touring with is pretty outstanding as well. I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“Queen’s amazing, we love those guys––we go way back. I’m a bit worried that pretty soon, we’ll be opening for them,” Mick joked, drawing a laugh from Katie. She watched as he joined the three men to whom she had yet to be introduced and began dragging the equipment across the gravel and towards their van. It was a modest thing, just big enough to accommodate the array of amps, speakers, mics, and instruments they inevitably needed to pack up.

“Do you guys need help with anything?” she piped up, hoping to find a reason to get away from the obscene display of affection occurring only a few feet away.

One of the long, brown-haired men––possibly the bassist, she couldn’t remember––threw her a quick smirk over his shoulder before replying, “I could think of a few things you’d be able to help me with, darlin'.”

Peals of laughter ensued as Katie’s cheeks grew hot––she should’ve seen that one coming. “Tour has you that deprived, huh?” she taunted back, a reluctant grin spreading across her face. She walked over to the van and leaned against the side, observing the scene.

The one who addressed her just moments before flashed her a playful smile and an “only kiddin’, love” before bending over to survey the amount of space left in the trunk. Beside him, Mick gestured back towards the door of the theatre. “There are a few adaptors and mic stands just in the hallway inside the door. You could grab those,” he suggested.

Nodding, Katie left the men to their task and headed back towards the building. It wasn’t until she was inside the dimly-lit, dingy-carpeted hallway that she realized Queen was still inside––and now, so was she. She took a deep breath, promising herself to keep cool as she cast her gaze to the right and located the jumbled pile of electrical cords and mic stands propped against the peeling wallpaper. Careful to bend in such a way that wouldn’t cause her dress to ride up, she gathered as many of the heavy electrical cords as she could.

“Need some help with those?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally we get a bit of Brian action in this one! The next chapter will be full of him as well (I think) so stay tuned ;)  
> Hope you're all enjoying what I've written so far––lemme know what you think with a comment and I'll love you forever

_**May 4, 1974** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

 

Katie snapped upright and turned to see the owner of the voice that had just scared the living shit out of her. She sucked in a slow breath––it was him. The man seemed even more beautiful up close––his unkempt curls spilled onto his neck and onto the exposed bit of shoulder that couldn’t be contained by his billowy, oversized tunic. She was surprised to notice the heavy-looking silver necklace that splayed across his collarbones, a detail she missed earlier. In one hand he gripped his guitar case firmly, holding it almost protectively against his side. As she watched his free hand reach up to rub his chest just underneath the collar of his shirt, she couldn’t help but to imagine what it might feel like on her body instead. “Umm, uh, yeah, sure!” she responded, barely concealing the short-circuiting occurring in her brain as she attempted to reconcile the fact that the man she had been lusting over for the past few hours was now standing right in front of her. “I’m able to take almost all of these, there’s just those mic stands that need carrying.”

He nodded. “Ah.” Reaching to grab the three metal poles with his free hand, he flashed her with a pensive look. “I’m assuming you’re one of Pete’s girls then?”

Blushing slightly at his assumption, she corrected him: “Oh! No, I’m actually here with one of my friends––Stacy? She knows Ian, and she wanted to catch up with him after the show.”

That drew a chuckle from him. “‘Catch up’, huh. So that means you’ve been nominated to do all the heavy lifting, does it?” His hazel eyes glittered with amusement. “I’m Brian May, by the way. I’d shake your hand but–” he looked down at his full hands. _Finally, a name to put to the face._

Katie positively beamed back at him. “I’m Katherine Parker, but my friends call me Katie. I really enjoyed your show,” she started, trying her best not to sound like a crazed, teenage fan. “I haven’t seen anything like it. The way you incorporated the smoke and lights to create the atmosphere for your songs was genius.”

“Katherine.” Hearing her birth name spoken in his warm British accent, each syllable enunciated as if he were committing it to memory, was something she hoped she’d never forget. “Well, thank you! The finished product you saw back there is the result of countless arguments, so I’m glad someone’s appreciating it,” he replied bashfully. She watched as his eyes flickered up and down her body, as if he was finally taking her all in. She couldn’t quite read the expression on his face, but the mere thought of his gaze analyzing every line and curve of her body sent a small shudder of exhilaration down her spine. “I can’t tell you how many venues are resistant to the setup we’ve painstakingly curated over the past few years, it’s quite an ordeal, really. So––you’re with Stacy? Does that mean you’re from Waterbury as well?”

Before Katie could respond, an unfamiliar voice interrupted from the end of the hallway. “Brian! Whose ears are you talking off now?” A feathery-blonde head popped out from one of the doors down the hall, soon followed by its slim body clothed in an outrageously-styled flowy outfit. Katie likened the man to a pixie or a wood sprite. “By this rate we won’t make it to the bar until bloody two in the morn–oh, what’s this?” He reached them and spotted Katie, previously hidden behind Brian’s substantial stature.

“Katie, this is Rog,” Brian introduced, pointing his guitar case in the other man’s direction. “Roger’s the drummer, and coincidentally, the biggest member of the group.”

That remark earned Brian a playful thump on the shoulder from his bandmate. “Sod off, May. I can’t help being the most well-liked member of the band.” Toning down the feigned bravado, he added, “I hope you enjoyed the set. I was a bit nervous about my kit being out-of-sorts after the the drive up from Harrisburg, but I think it turned out alright.”

Glad to meet another member of the band whose performance she so thoroughly enjoyed, Katie smiled back at him in reassurance. “If there was anything wrong with it, I certainly couldn’t tell. It was a phenomenal set, really––I’m glad my friend dragged me along, even if it means I’m dead tired at work tomorrow.”

“She’s a friend of Stacy’s, I’m sure you remember Stacy,” Brian chimed in, a hint of teasing in his voice.

“Ahh.” The blonde took a moment to look her up and down meticulously, finishing with an appreciative glance at her ass. A mixture of embarrassment and delight in his obvious interest in her brought a prickling heat to her cheeks. She hoped it wasn’t noticeable. “Yes, of course, Stacy. Couldn’t forget that one––she had me out of my mind for days, hanging about in those tight miniskirts.” He inhaled sharply for comedic emphasis, shooting Katie a conspiring look and a wink before adding, “never did understand her fascination with Ian. I’d prefer Dale myself.”

“Oy, did I hear my name?” One of the Mott band members, presumably Dale, joined them near the doorway. “What the hell are you all doing standing about? The rest of the shit’s already packed up, we can head over to the pub in five if you get your arses in gear,” he chided.

“Fred! Deaky! Come ‘ead,” Roger shouted, his raspy, high-pitched voice echoing off the stained linoleum walls. Turning to Katie once again, he gave her a winning smile and added, “hope you’ll join us, love, it’s bound to be great fun.” With that, Katie watched as he sauntered out the door, a drumstick in each hand.

Out of the corner of her line of vision she detected Brian’s eyes on her once again. Curious, she swiveled her head to make full eye contact with him, but he didn’t look away––no, if anything he increased the intensity of his gaze, as if his goal was to memorize each freckle and stray strand of hair that pervaded her face. Swallowing nervously, she cleared her throat and shifted her weight from foot to foot. “I suppose we ought to actually do something with these,” Katie joked, referring to the technical equipment still in their arms.

“Mm, I suppose we should.” He tilted his head to the side and motioned for her to go ahead of him. As she stepped through the threshold and headed back toward the nearly-full fan, Katie silently cursed her conservatively-cut dress. If there ever was an opportune day to wear a miniskirt, it was today. She wanted to turn around _so_ badly to see if Brian was checking her out, but she couldn’t pluck up the nerve. Besides, she wasn’t quite sure what to make of the signals he was giving her. Roger clearly had no qualms about making his interest in the possibility of sex known to her––and he succeeded in conveying this message in one brief encounter. Brian on the other hand? Not quite as easy to read. But at this point, Katie was captivated by his calm, controlled demeanor, and there was no way she could allow herself to go home without exploring the possibility of Brian.

She spotted Stacy propped up against Ian across the alley, his hand slung suspiciously low on her waist. They made brief eye contact and Stacy grinned bashfully, combing through her ruffled hair with her fingers. Stacy raised one eyebrow inquisitively, as if to ask whether or not Katie was still interested in going out. A smile crept across Katie’s face as she rolled her eyes in concession––yes, she wanted to go out with them. Sleep could wait.

“Thanks again, luv,” one of the guys––she thought it might be Mick, although her memory before meeting Brian was very fuzzy––said after relieving her arms of the electrical cords.  
He slammed the doors of the van shut and patted it to let the driver know they were ready. “We’re heading over to the pub now and we happen to have a bit of extra space in the passenger van. What’d ya say––you coming with us?”

Taking a split second to admire the way Brian’s shirt rode up to reveal a hip bone as he lifted his guitar case into the van, Katie replied, “That sounds wonderful, I’d love to tag along for a bit.”

“Alright darlings, we’re wasting twilight––the pub isn’t going to drink itself dry,” a distinctly familiar voice interrupted impatiently from across the parking lot. Katie turned to see the lead singer of Queen throwing open the back of the second van, dramatically gesturing for everyone to get their asses inside. Coupled with a few cheers and plenty of boisterous chattering, the men and Stacy made a beeline for the vehicle. _Really hope I don’t regret this in the morning,_ Katie thought as she followed close behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so i lied––this doesn't have much brian in it at all... but I promise I'll make up for it with the next chapter!
> 
> this one is pretty full of dialogue and i hope i accurately conveyed each of their personalities for you :)
> 
> as always, leave a comment if you like/hate it! i'd love to know your thoughts

_**May 4, 1974** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

 

The ride to the bar wasn’t quite what Katie hoped it’d be. After clamoring in behind everyone else, she found herself sandwiched between Roger and a new face––their bassist, John Deacon, introduced to her as “Deaky”. Stuck in the backseat, she was much too far away from Brian to justify an attempt at conversation. He and Freddie sat together near the front, shoulders hunched over what looked to be a paper full of scribbles. Their serious, muffled voices floated back to her now and again as she did her best to focus on the conversation she was having with Roger and Deaky. 

After getting the chance to talk to Roger more candidly, she felt embarrassed at her original inclination to typecast him as the seductive-troublemaker. He seemed to be a genuinely kind, thoughtful person––after mentioning her post-graduate work with a local newspaper, he surprised her with a very strong and well-based argument for his opinion on unpaid-internships. In addition, his sense of humor revealed itself to be absurdly great. He conducted a running commentary on the sights of the quaint city through the van window that had both Katie and Deaky in hysterics. Deaky, albeit much more reserved, also warmed up to her during the ride. Their first exchange was comprised of brief pleasantries, but by the time they reached their destination, Katie succeeded in making him giggle a handful of times at her comedically astute observations about the East Coast.

As their van pulled into a parking spot, she admired the building’s modest exterior. The walls were composed with faded beige brickwork, its two adjacent sides meeting at a point on the corner of the block. A copper-green, heavy-set door garnished the junction elegantly, giving the entire thing an air of antique, unspoken beauty. Although Katie grew up near Waterbury and spent the majority of her life there, she’d only been to the White Parrot once before. It wasn’t your average weekend pub––simply walking past it on her way to work made her thin wallet weep.

“You coming?” Katie blinked, stirred from her thoughts by Deaky’s question. He stood a few steps ahead, brandishing a friendly smile and motioning for her to follow him. Nodding, she caught up with him as the last of the Mott members disappeared through the door. She’d lost track of Brian in the commotion of exiting the van, but she still held onto the tiny thread of hope that he might be interested in––at the very least––talking to her. Roger held the door open for them as they approached, his platinum blonde hair glinting handsomely in the amber glow of the sunset. “After you, madam,” he joked. Deciding to play along, Katie took the hem of her dress in both hands and mock-curtsied as she entered the building. 

The atmosphere that greeted her was much more extravagant than she recalled. In front of her was the bar, which stretched across an impressive length of the room. Bartenders were bustling back and forth with cocktail shakers and shot glasses, attending to customers with impressive speed. Behind them glittered the vast wall of alcohol in all its glory, the three shelves teeming with magnificently-cut glass bottles––Katie didn’t dare guess how expensive the liquid inside them might be. Toward the end of the bar she could almost make out the faint glow of the red exit sign. But the main attraction was the stage that occupied the majority of the farthest corner, currently occupied by three leather-clad men playing rock covers of old 50s tunes. Couples scattered the dance floor in front of the band, bopping along to the beat. She watched as the Mott guys flooded one end of the bar and Freddie cavorted straight onto the dance floor. Roger immediately made his way over to one of the booths on the other end of the room, and a moment later it was obvious why––the booth in question was packed with college-aged girls in skimpy outfits.  _ Okay, so maybe my initial judgement wasn’t too far off-base _ . 

A gentle hand touched her elbow. “Want a drink?” Deaky offered, leaning towards the bar.

“Sure! I’ll have whatever you’re having, thanks,” Katie replied. She scanned the room for any sign of either Brian or Stacy as Deaky sought out their drinks. Just as she was about to lose hope, she spotted Stacy’s unmistakable scarlet head at the other end of the bar counter.  _ Thank god _ . Clutching her purse to her side protectively, Katie walked over to her friend. Sliding onto the stool next to her, she let out a breath of relief. “Stacy! There you are.”

Startled, her friend quickly turned in her seat. “Oh, hey,” she acknowledged, sipping a pink-colored drink through a straw. “Where have you been?”

“That’s what I was gonna ask you! Ian really has a hold on you huh,” Katie teased. “I don’t think we’ve talked since you two… reunited.”

Blushing slightly, Stacy set down her drink and began stirring it with her straw. “Yeah… sorry about that. I hope you weren’t too uncomfortable back there, I should’ve stuck around to make sure you were introduced properly to all Ian’s friends.”

With a dismissive gesture of her hand, Katie reassured her, “Nah, that’s okay. I’m not much interested in those guys anyway, them seem pretty rough––not really my type. I did get to know some of the guys in Queen, though.” 

At this, Stacy’s eyes lit up. “Ooh, do tell me! You talked to the guitarist, right? Do you think he’s into you?”

Katie looked around wistfully, “Yes, we talked briefly, but I really can’t tell if the interest is mutual. Plus, I have no idea where he got off to once we arrived. It’s not looking too promising.” She forced a nonchalant smile to her lips. “But that’s okay! I can enjoy myself just the same.”

“I thought I heard you two chattering about,” Deaky commented, taking the empty seat to Katie’s right and sliding her drink across the counter and into her hand. Offering a shy smile, he attempted to insert himself into their conversation. “What isn’t looking too promising?”

As she floundered for words, Stacy came to Katie’s rescue. “She’s just worrying herself over a promotion at work that I  **know** she’ll get. Over-thinking is her middle name.” Although she was using it a cover-up, the statement itself wasn’t false––Katie was due for a potential raise and increased responsibility at work.

“Oh? What’s the promotion then?” he inquired, doing a fantastic job of seeming genuinely interested. He focused his dusty green eyes on her intently, offering his undivided attention. This simple act put an appreciative smile on Katie’s lips and gave her heart a gentle squeeze.

“I work as the editor’s assistant for the city paper, and have for a year now. But I’ve proven my abilities to my superiors and they’re considering giving me my own editorial position, which would finally give me autonomy to do things the way I prefer.” Propping her chin up on her fist, she added, “And hopefully that means a raise as well.”

“Ah, so you’re proper smart, then,” he complimented. “I never had much luck with Literature and all that. I went to college for science––that I can understand.”

Stacy, who had begun to zone out of the conversation, suddenly perked up. Squeezing Katie’s shoulder supportively, she announced, “Sorry to interrupt––I think I see Ian over there, I’m gonna go join him if that’s okay.”

“Yeah! Yeah, go for it. I’ll just be here if you need me,” Katie responded, doing her best to mask her growing dismay at the way her evening was unfolding. She watched as her friend bounced off her stool and wove through the sea of people.

Deaky studied her unintentionally-crestfallen expression before stating, “You two are very different.”

That drew a laugh from Katie. “We are, aren’t we? We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, and I love her to death, but whenever we go out I’m reminded why I don’t do this very often.” She sipped the last of her drink before steering the conversation back to something a little less self-reflective. “You went to college to study science?”

“I did. It’s a bit odd, I know, but we all were going for degrees before this whole band thing took off. I was going to be a mechanic for the rest of my life, and now I’m here,” Deaky explained, sounding like he still couldn’t believe the turn of events.

“Deaks, you’re still here?” Seemingly conjured out of thin air, Roger pushed himself between the two, leaning on the counter for support. He clearly had a few drinks already under his belt. “I thought you were gonna ring up Veronica.”

Looking slightly annoyed, Deaky replied, “I was. I am. But Brian’s been hogging the phone for the last bleedin’ half hour.” Katie’s ears perked up at that–– _ so that’s where he was _ .

“With Chrissie? Jesus, tell him to bugger off. They’ll see each other soon enough anyhow,” Roger slurred, attempting to wave down a bartender.

Her heart began to sink, but not wanting to jump to any conclusions, Katie had to ask. “Who’s Chrissie?” In the back of her mind she already knew the answer, but she clung desperately to denial.

Deaky eyed Roger with a concerned expression before confirming her fears. “She’s Brian’s girl. They’ve been together for a few years, so you’d think she’d be sick of his voice by now,” he said, attempting a joke.

Roger, finally securing the pint of beer he was set on, pushed himself off of the counter. “‘S been good catching up, lads, but I have some pressing matters to attend to before it gets too late.” He gave them an exaggerated, surreptitious wink and sidled off to the girls he’d abandoned. 

“I’m gonna get another drink,” Katie stated, her mind still spinning from her newfound revelation. Of course. Of fucking course. She shouldn’t be surprised––a good-looking guy like Brian was bound to be spoken for. It was silly of her to hope otherwise. The obvious plan of action now was to go home and forget about the whole thing…   _ So why am I still entertaining the idea of pursuing him? _

Deaky stood up with a yawn, placing his empty glass on the countertop. “I think I’ll go see what the bastard’s up to. If you don’t mind,” he added, seemingly unsure about leaving her on her own.

Mustering a smile, Katie nodded. “Definitely, go ahead. Don’t worry about me.” Her eyes followed the thoughtful man as he wandered back towards the exit sign, presumably where the telephone was stationed. Letting out a dramatic, disheartened sigh, she ordered herself a White Russian. She figured more alcohol in her system wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. Besides, the clock read half past eleven, and if she was to get anything out of the night, why couldn’t it be a nice, mellow drunken buzz? Maybe she’d find someone to flirt with just to feel validated before heading home empty-handed. She looked around, eyeing the men at the end of the bar. Most of them looked a bit too old for her liking, but one of them seemed like a possibility––a handsomely-chiseled jaw shadowed in tasteful blonde stubble flexed as his lips opened and closed around a cigarette. But just as quickly as she entertained the idea, she dropped it altogether. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Brian was still at the forefront of her mind, and she knew it'd be impossible to convince herself to pursue someone else that night. She should just go home.

“Hey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the brian content I promised last time! There's quite a bit of dialogue in this chapter and I tried to flesh the characters out better––let me know if you think I succeeded, haha.
> 
> This is the end of the original idea for the first one-shot I had, which will make sense once you get to the end.
> 
> As always, thank you a million times for reading this! I really appreciate you all :)

_**May 5, 1974** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

 

A pathetically-large wave of relief and apprehension washed over Katie as she looked up to see Brian at her side. He looked somewhat exhausted but seemed to be doing his best to disguise his fatigue with a warm smile. She immediately noticed his change of outfit––gone was the dark indigo tunic that had captured her attention so swiftly. Instead, a slightly-rumpled blue button-up hugged his slender frame, the top three buttons carelessly undone. Her eyes lingered on the exposed expanse of sun-kissed skin––it seemed to be taunting her with its very existence, which she didn’t think was very fair at all. Two beaded necklaces adorned his neck, a detail that struck Katie as oddly appealing. Realizing she probably should say something instead of just gaping at him, she found her voice. “Hi! You’re back.”  _ Jesus, could I sound more stupid?? _

Chuckling, he motioned to the vacant seat beside her. “Is this seat taken?”

Katie shook her head, doing her best to contain her enthusiasm. The vodka was beginning to seep into her brain and its hazy effect only increased the amount of dopamine being released upon hearing his voice. “What’ve you been up to?” she asked innocently as he situated himself on the leather seat. It was the logical way to move the conversation forward, but she was mainly curious if he’d tell the truth. 

An almost imperceptible exhale parted his lips. He fixed her with his subdued hazel eyes. “I was on the phone with my girlfriend. She insists that I call every other day, which theoretically is fine.” He paused, shifting his gaze to the bar counter, slipping his hand underneath the collar of his shirt. Katie was beginning to suspect it was a tic of his. “It’s just a bit difficult to find a telephone after gigs. And don’t even get me started on how expensive a transatlantic call is,” he added with a wry chuckle. 

“Mmm,” Katie hummed, unsure of how to respond. She was too focused on his hand, slender fingers slightly bent and poised elegantly on the counter. The goddamn things were distracting. “I can only imagine. That must be hard,” she tried to sympathize.

With a dismissive wave of his hand, he straightened up in his seat. “But that’s enough of my griping. You have a boyfriend?” The question was phrased so casually, and Katie wondered if he was actually interested in her answer.

“No,” she laughed. “Even if I wanted one, work doesn’t give me much spare time to make an effort to look.”

At this, he cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t want one?

Katie blushed. “Well, I don’t know. Not right now, I don’t think.” His eyes seemed to burn into her as she responded––she had to drop her gaze to the empty glass in her hand to avoid the fire of want that he was beginning to ignite in her body. “My career is too important to me.”

“That’s quite smart, actually. What do you do for work, then?” he inquired. 

“I work for the city newspaper as an assistant to the editor. Not nearly as glamorous as it sounds, unfortunately.” This drew a timid smile and laugh from him. “But I like it! It’s what I’m good at.”

“Huh,” he responded, seemingly contemplating the idea. “I think I’d be rubbish at something like that.” Another shy smile. “What do you like about it so much?”

Katie took a moment to think before answering. “Maybe it’s because I’m a perfectionist, but it gives me so much satisfaction to be in charge of ensuring the final product is as good as it possibly can be. I’m just an assistant right now, but I can’t wait to be the main person responsible for editing.”

“There’s just something about doing things yourself––it reassures you that it’s actually getting done correctly,” he agreed with a nod. “I’m the same way.”

Katie smiled, some of the butterflies in her stomach beginning to dissipate. “Sometimes I think it’s a curse, but here we are.” She crossed her legs, leaning into the counter with her elbow. Her nerves were mostly settled by now and she very much enjoyed the man Brian was revealing himself to be.

The sides of his mouth twitched upwards to mirror hers. “I should think it’s partly the fault of my upbringing,” he contemplated. “My parents practically encouraged my perfectionistic tendencies, bless ‘em.”

Katie’s curiosity got the best of her––this man seemed so utterly normal, for lack of a better term. He didn’t seem affected by his rising popularity in the slightest. “Have you always been so set on a career as a musician?” 

Reaching up to tousle his mane of curls, he knit his eyebrows together in thought. “No, not always. At least, not to this extent. I wanted to study the stars when I was younger,” he admitted bashfully. 

“Stars! So you’re interested in astronomy?” The intrigue of this man seemed to have no end.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “For as long as I can remember. I think I spent ninety-percent of my childhood laying outside in the grass at night, looking up at the sky. There’s something about the vastness of it all, the sheer beauty of the unknown.” Katie could sense the extent of his passion by the way his eyes practically illuminated as he explained himself. “If that makes sense,” he added hesitantly, shifting in his seat.  _ Was he embarrassed? _

“That makes complete sense. I guess I’ve never given much thought to what lies beyond this planet, but it’s certainly fascinating to think about all that exists and has existed out there.” She drummed her fingers on her thigh in thought. “I suppose you could name every star and planet in the sky if I asked you to,” she teased coyly.

He tilted his head, a gleam of amusement in his eyes. “Yes, I suppose I could. I should think it comes with the territory,” he conceded modestly. “Although, I haven’t really put any of my college studies to practical use for a couple years now, so maybe I shouldn’t be so confident.”

“Was that when you decided to pursue a career in music instead?”

“Mhm.” She noticed his fingers absentmindedly stroking the varnished bar top and tried her best to dam up the flood of obscene thoughts threatening to douse her mind. “I really was dead set on getting my PhD, you know. I had already begun with it before deciding to drop it altogether for Queen.”

“Was it the right choice?”

He paused for a moment to mull over her question. “To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever know if it was. I love astronomy but I also love music, you know? Sometimes you have to pick one path and pray it’s the right one for you.” His words were full of wisdom.  _ How is he so goddamn smart?? _

“You don’t seem like a rock musician,” she thought out loud, causing Brian to burst out in an amused chuckle. “No, really! You don’t. At least, not the image I have of rock musicians.” She couldn’t help but to grin back as she attempted to explain.

He made an exaggerated clutch at his chest, doing his best to feign worry. “That’s my career you’re talking about! How am I meant to make it if I don’t look the part?”

Without considering the boldness of her action, Katie poked his arm lightly as she rolled her eyes playfully. “I meant it as a compliment! It’s a good thing––means you’re not as one-dimensional as the rest.” 

An expression she couldn’t quite place flashed in his eyes, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared. His only response was a faint smile and soft eyes that made her toes curl in her sandals. They might’ve continued staring at each other like that if a bartender hadn’t interrupted the silence.

“Are you two okay on drinks?” The sweaty, slightly out-of-breath bartender leaned against the counter, giving them a restrained, impatient look.

Across from Katie, Brian blinked himself back to reality. “Ah, yes actually, can I have an orange juice and vodka?” Looking back at Katie, he offered, “Can I get you something as well?”

She shook her head. “No I’m alright, but thank you.” She had an embarrassingly low tolerance and knew that a third drink would push her across the threshold into undignified territory. “I’ve had a couple drinks already,” she explained, hoping she wasn’t offending him by turning down his offer.

“Ta,” Brian thanked the bartender as he scurried off to mix the cocktail. “A lightweight, are you?” He laughed as Katie made a face and added, “It’s alright, so am I. Two beers and suddenly walking a straight line becomes the most impossible task in the world. I try not to drink very often anyway.”

“And when you do, you pick orange juice as the mixer? Really?” she asked incredulously.

“I just so happen to love orange juice so, yes, really,” he countered with a smirk. “And it happens to go well with vodka, so it’s the only logical option.”

“Logic and cocktails, who knew.” Katie unconsciously uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, shifting in her seat slightly in a (hopefully) subtle attempt to angle herself more towards Brian, whose legs she was very aware of being only inches away from her own. 

A couple whoops from the dancefloor removed Katie from her Brian-induced trance, reminding her that she was, in fact, in a bar with other people and things around her. As her senses began picking up on the surrounding activity, she realized the band had finished––“I’m a Believer” by the Monkees began playing over the speakers.

“Oh my god, I love this song!” she exclaimed, jumping off her stool with newfound energy. Brain watched, stunned by her sudden outburst. “We  _ have _ to go dance.”

“I-I don’t dance,” he sputtered in protest, offering an apologetic grin.

“Oh yes you do, you can’t not dance to this song.” She leaned forward and grabbed his arm, hauling him off his stool and onto the floor. “Come on!” Unsure of the source of her sudden bravery, Katie took his hand in hers and steered them through the drunk onlookers and onto the tiled dance floor. She spun around to face him, her cheeks rosy with confidence. The expression that met her was one of pure terror––she clapped her hands to her mouth to cover the fit of giggles that began spilling from her lips. “Oh, don’t look so forlorn, follow me––it’s easy.” She listened closely to the twangy guitar, finding her rhythm. 

_ “Love was out to get me, that’s the way it seemed _

_ Disappointment haunted all of my dreams” _

Dramatically shimmying her shoulders, she lip-synced along with the lyrics, closing her eyes and letting the music take control. The buzz of the people surrounding her and the synchronicity of the song enveloped her in delightful exhilaration. 

_ “Then I saw her face, now I’m a believer _

_ Not a trace, of doubt in my mind” _

Katie squinted up at Brian, who continued to stand relatively stagnant. He looked so utterly out of place, lanky limbs and all. But she caught his eyes on her, following her inebriated dancing with precision––and she loved it. “Are you just gonna stare, or are you gonna give in and have some fun?” she taunted, coaxing him forward with her index finger. Satisfied with the blush her question brought to his cheeks, she took his hand in hers once again and held it above her head as she twirled in a circle. Suddenly, she felt his hand on her waist and he proceeded to spin her back in the opposite direction. Peals of his laughter greeted her ears, a welcome sound. As he continued to guide her through each movement, her body was hyper aware of each point of contact his hands made with it Even with her clothes as a barrier, small fires were ignited everywhere his hands traveled.

_ “Then I saw her face, now I’m a believer _

_ Not a trace, of doubt in my mind _

_ Now I’m a believer, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah” _

Attempting to regain her balance, Katie clumsily leaned into him, steadying herself with one hand against his chest. “Oops, sor-” her apology died on her lips as she looked up at him. The ghost of a smile occupied his lips, but it was his eyes that made her heart leap into her throat––from what she could make out in the dim lighting, his pupils were blown out in an expression she could only describe as hunger. She quickly took a step back, unsure of how to process what had just happened. Her heart was beating a million miles a minute and she was sure he could hear it. 

The song ended, and Brian mercifully broke the silence between them. “Want to go outside? There’s something I want to show you.” 

_ Oh god, oh god, that’s a line if I’ve ever heard one, _ Katie warned herself. But of course she replied, “Sure.” 

Satisfied, he beckoned to her with his hand and led the way through the mass of writhing bodies toward the exit sign. As she followed him, she caught a glimpse of Freddie sitting back in a chair, surrounded by admirers. She briefly wondered whether Deaky was still around. 

The cool night air that met them through the open door woke Katie from her stupor. Rubbing her bare arms, she wondered how far she’d let herself go tonight. She knew Brian had a girlfriend, but she also knew that she was incredibly attracted to this man––and there was no guarantee she’d see him ever again. Her morals weighed on her conflicted thoughts as she followed Brian to the curb. He stopped, first looking around, then looking up at the sky.

Curiosity getting the best of her, Katie asked, “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the stars.” After examining the sky for another moment, he nodded, seemingly content, and sat himself down on the curb. Looking up at her, he smiled. “Well come on then. You wanted to know if I could name all the constellations, yeah?”

She couldn’t suppress the adoring smile that rose to her lips as she followed suit and nestled down beside him. Propping herself up with her arms, she took a moment to appreciate his face of concentration––eyebrows knit together, nose scrunched, lips pursed––before following his gaze up to the sky. 

“Okay, look over there.” She followed his outstretched finger to the right, unsure of what exactly she was supposed to be looking at. “You can’t actually see anything, but that’s where neptune is, I think. If I had a telescope, I’d know for sure.” 

“Mm. What about something I can see?”

There was that adorably concentrated face again. “Yes, right.” He gestured further to the right. “Those two bright stars near each other––that’s Spica and Antares. Next to them, those two faded stars? They make up the Libra constellation.” Taking a second to glance at her and noticing her confusion, he added, “It’s like a sideways triangle with two legs… I don’t know if that helps.”

Laughing at his attempt to help her, she shivered as the night breeze swept through her hair. “Okay yeah, I think I see it. What about Sagittarius? That’s my zodiac sign, I think.”

A soft hum emanated from him as he scanned the stars once again. She couldn’t help but notice the small curls that framed his face as they fluttered in the breeze. “You’re in luck––look all the way over here.” 

She leaned to the left, using his finger as her guide, and accidentally brushed her thigh up against his. Doing her best to ignore this delicious body contact, she found the framework of the famous centaur and his bow. A content sigh escaped her lips. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered, enthralled with the nebulous expanse.

She could sense his eyes on her, but she wasn’t quite sure what to do.  _ Should I look at him? Should I kiss him? I really want to kiss him _ . She hadn’t planned to like him so much, let alone get to know him so well. Somehow, it felt like they’d known each other for ages. They seemed to get along so well, but the intrusive thought of his girlfriend kept invading on Katie’s thoughts of what could be.  _ I can’t keep staring at the sky forever,  _ she lamented, finally tearing her gaze away from the stars and meeting his hazel eyes with her own. 

The tension was palpable. Katie’s eyes wavered––the intensity of his stare combined with the warmth of his leg against hers was becoming almost too much for her to handle. Her lips parted in an attempt to say something––anything––to break the silence, but her voice caught in her throat as his free hand reached up to cup her cheek. His touch was gentle and soft, a welcome feeling for her deprived senses. Without meaning to, she leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering shut in utter bliss. His thumb began tracing her cheekbone ever so slowly––it was all she could do not to let out a sigh of complete euphoria. 

“Katie.” His voice, low and gravelly, coaxed her eyes open. Before she was able to compute what was happening, he began closing the distance that separated their lips. Katie held her breath, nearly shaking from the effort it took not to grab his face and press her lips to his. By now they were breathing each other's exhales, their faces were so impossibly close. He was waiting for her to reciprocate. All it would take was a centimeter and he’d be hers.

_ No. I can’t. _ Mustering the shred of will power she had left, Katie abruptly moved away from Brian and stood up. “I-I’m sorry, I really am, but I… I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I want to, but I can’t.” The horrible mixture of embarrassment, shock, and hurt she saw race across his face as he quickly got to his feet was devastating. He reached out a hand to her but she shied away from his touch. Hugging her arms to her chest in an effort to steel her nerves, she added. “You have a girlfriend. I have work early tomorrow morning.” While she was scrambling to explain herself, she began walking away from him to erase any possibility of him convincing her to stay. 

“Katie don’t-”

“I’m sorry,” she managed to whisper one last time before turning on her heel and bolting towards the front of the building. She couldn’t tell if he was running after her, but she didn’t dare look back at the man she knew she would never see again. Her eyes welled up, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks as she waved down a taxi.  _ I did the right thing, I did the right thing _ , she repeated over and over to herself.  _ I did. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaaand she's back! lots of katie-centric material in this one, so bare with me. i'm hoping to write the majority of the remainder of this fic in the next week, so stay tuned for that.
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoy! leave a comment telling me what you like/hate :)

_**January 27, 1976** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

  

Katie glanced at the small clock above her desk, wondering if the minute hand could possibly move any slower. It was Tuesday, the final day of a very long week. Normally she’d work Monday through Friday, but one of her supervisees had fallen ill, effectively throwing off her entire schedule. Although she’d only been at work for four hours, her hands were already beginning to cramp. _Damn these photos_. It was taking her entirely too long to format the front page article because of them, and she wanted to scream.

A merciful ring from her office telephone jolted her from her frustration. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she reached to answer the call. “Hello?”

“Katie! Are you on lunch break yet?” The sound of Stacy’s voice was a welcome reprieve.

With a slight smile, Katie reflexively shook her head and sighed. “Not yet Stace, I have a few more minutes yet. What’s up?”

“Can you meet me at the cafe across the street when you’re done? I have a surprise for you.”

Katie twirled her pencil between her fingers, looking up at the clock for the hundredth time. “I suppose so. What’s this about?”

A stifled giggle, then––”You’ll see. I gotta go, see you in a bit!”

The cryptic conversation only helped to further Katie’s distraction. Miraculously, she was somehow able to finish lining up the photos with the headers and text before noon. Yawning, she stretched her arms out wide and heard her joints crack, one after another. Sometimes she let the stress of being the managing editor get to her head, and this week was one of those instances. Grabbing her coat and purse from the back of her chair, she made her way out of the stuffy copy room and into the hallway. The sounds of cordial chatter and the scraping of chairs against the floor echoed off the walls of the quaint building. Usually Katie would stop to socialize in the composing room, but she wasn’t feeling particularly keen to hear about Jim’s crazy girlfriend or Barb’s insolent kids today. Besides, she was dying to know what Stacy meant by “surprise”. Knowing her friend, nothing was out of the realm of possibilities.

The brisk winter air nipped at her cheeks as she stepped foot outside and into the snow. Pulling her collar tighter against her neck, she looked both ways before crossing the equally snowy street. Despite living on the east coast her entire life, the sheer amount of snow Waterbury received each winter constantly amazed her. Not that she minded––the glittery white veil that covered the city always made the world seem more at peace. Through the large windows of the cafe, Katie spotted her friend waiting for her in the corner, sitting cross-legged at a table.

Scuffing her shoes against the pavement in an attempt to get rid of any residual snow clumps, she pushed the front door open. Warm aromas of chicken stock and grilled cheese greeted her, evoking a rumble from her stomach. _I really need to remember to bring a late-morning snack with me to work_.

“Katie! Over here.” Stacy waved her down, smiling.

Shrugging her purse off her shoulder, Katie joined Stacy at the small table she’d selected. “Haven’t you ordered anything yet?”

“I was waiting till you got here. C’mon, this is my treat.” She gestured for Katie to follow her to the cash register. With an appreciative smile, Katie joined her at the front. Every so often Stacy offered to pay for a meal out, and Katie learned to stop protesting and accept it––Stacy worked a cushy job for her father’s law firm and insisted on the occasional treat. Besides, pocket change was a scarce commodity for Katie.

The plump woman behind the register barely looked up from her newspaper as they scanned the chalkboard above for the daily specials.

“I think I’ll have the grilled cheese and tomato bisque,” Katie decided, still basking in the delectable scent of fried cheddar cheese.

Stacy gave their order to the lady as Katie surveyed the post-Christmas decor adorning the window sills and walls. This was exactly why Katie decided against decorating her apartment––the same motivation to take down decorations as it took to put them up was impossible to muster.

Katie poked Stacy on the arm as they meandered back to their spot in the corner. “So what was your phone call all about? What surprise?” Curiosity had been gnawing at her for the last hour. It was hard to guess what Stacy might consider a surprise––it could be something as small as acquiring a new necklace, or something as big as buying a one-way ticket to Tokyo.

Stacy fluffed her shoulder-length red bob before responding. “Okay. So I’m pretty sure you’ll like this, but if you don’t, please don’t get mad at me.” She hesitated and bit her lip before continuing. “I bought us tickets to the Queen show tonight.”

“You what?” That specific combination of words caused Katie’s heart to drop to her stomach. Her ears began to ring as her mind spun with quelled memories.

Stacy eyed her with caution. “I know you had that weird thing with the guitarist, but I thought it might be fun! You don’t even have to see him, if you don’t want to––remember how much we loved seeing them last time? And I know you love their music.”

“Mm.” It was true. Since the concert a couple years ago, Katie followed each new Queen record with intense loyalty. Sure, maybe it had something to do with how she couldn’t get the image of Brian out of her mind for months afterwards, but she did genuinely enjoy their music. One of their four records could likely be found spinning on her record player at any given moment. “I’m… yeah, I mean, that does sound like it could be fun.”

“You aren’t still hung up on him, are you?” Stacy’s inquisitive eyes probed Katie for a reaction.

That was a loaded question, and it took Katie a moment to gather her thoughts and decide on an answer. “No.” That, of course, was a lie. There’s no possible way she could ever forget about the short, electrifying evening spent with the dark-haired man who had since occupied every one of her dreams. It was months before she stopped re-playing the evening in her head, and even longer until she stopped being able to recall the sound of his voice. The decision she made that night was the cause of ample internal conflict––she alternated between severe regret and confidence that she did the right thing. “It would be nice to see them all again.” That was true––she did miss the brief friendship she struck up with the others. She had yet to meet someone quite as friendly as Roger, or as genuinely caring as Deaky.

“So you want to go?” Stacy prompted, the beginnings of an excited smile playing at the edges of her lips.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll go,” Katie responded, unable to keep a grin from spreading across her face.

The two continued to chat as they warmed their bellies with soup and tea, but only half of Katie’s mind was attentive to the conversation. The other half was running through all the possibilities the night held for her. On one hand, she wanted desperately to meet up with Brian again. On the other hand, it was presumptuous for her to think he’d remember her. As memorable as that night was for her, she reminded herself that he was a rock musician—one-off trysts with women probably were a regular occurrence, so the chances he’d remember her were slim. But… he seemed so different, so unlike the other guys he toured with. He was so sincere, so kind. Then she reminded herself that it could easily be an act—she couldn't claim to know him well enough to discern the truth. The real dilemma was, if she met him again, what did she want to happen?

 

***

 

Conflicting thoughts laced with anticipation swirled around Katie’s head for the remainder of her shift. Luckily she only had to proofread the first drafts of various upcoming articles, which made it easy to function on autopilot. Editing was second nature to her by now––after the promotion she received, her hours increased, as did the amount of time spent at her desk meticulously scrutinizing page after page of _The Waterbury Observer_ with red ink. It did get tiring sometimes, but she enjoyed the gratification that came with each corrected error. This experience allowed her to focus instead on more important matters––namely, the possibilities in store for her that night.

Katie settled into her space with a satiated stomach and a newfound motivation to finish her work in a timely manner. Despite the compactness of her cubicle, the polaroids and notes that decorated her walls conjured a warm, familiar environment. As she surveyed the piece in front of her––something about a new park being built downtown––she began to entertain the possibility of looking for Brian after the show. She approached this train of thought with caution, because she felt obligated to remind herself that she broke off contact for a reason––a very good reason! He had a girlfriend… _At the time_. _Maybe_ , Katie ventured, _maybe he’s single now_. After all, two years was a long time, and rock stars weren’t known for the longevity of their relationships, right? She tried to ingrain the thought into her mind as she absentmindedly restructured a poorly-written sentence. _He’s definitely single now, there’s no way he’s not._ But an unwelcome wave of rationality broke up her optimism––she was just searching for any possible loophole to justify pursuing him again. _Perhaps. And so what if I am?_ she argued with herself. The prospect of seeing him again after months, _years_ of trying to forget was incredibly enticing, and she didn’t pretend to like the effect it had on her.

Getting through the stack of papers on her desk went quicker than anticipated, and by 3pm Katie was more than ready to stretch her legs. Yawning, she leaned back in her chair and stared out the room’s single window. She watched a finch drop to perch on the sill and wondered whether there was anything in her closet she’d deem acceptable to wear to the concert.

“Hey Katie!”

She swiveled in her chair to see Dean, one of the guys from the composing room, approaching her with a friendly smile. She returned the smile and tried to hide her chagrin––since his employment, he was constantly pursuing her, despite her very obvious disinterest. He was nice and well-meaning, but he lacked something that she couldn’t put her finger on. Maybe she was too critical. “Hey Dean. You done for the day too?”

The shaggy brunette stopped in front of her and leaned one arm against the side of her cubicle, a toothy grin spreading across his face. “Yeah, just finished rewriting the last of the copies for the week ahead. Say, how’d you like to grab a hot cocoa or something?”

With a feeble smile, Katie met his gaze apologetically. “Sorry, I can’t. I have to get ready for a concert tonight, Stacy surprised me with tickets!” The enthusiasm in the last part of her response was genuine.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and glanced down at her desk for a moment, causing Katie to feel slightly guilty at her quick dismissal. “That’s alright, maybe another time. You’re going to the Queen concert, huh?”

“Yeah! You like them?” Katie responded, unintentionally continuing the conversation. _Stop entertaining him, you need time to get ready_.

He nodded eagerly, reminding her of a floppy-eared puppy. “I dig Bohemian Rhapsody, such a good song. The album was decent too. Gee, I’m jealous,” he chuckled.

Katie nodded, pretending to be interested in what he was saying as she got to her feet and began buttoning up her coat. She decided to throw him a bone. “I’ll tell you all about it when I’m in next, how’s that sound?”

He visibly perked up, his wide eyes lighting up with adoration. Poor guy. “Sounds great! I can’t wait to hear about it.” His eyes followed her as she pushed in her chair and grabbed her purse. “I hope you have an amazing time! Stay safe, Katie,” he added with a wink.

She gave him a small smile, this one genuine, and waved goodbye. Making her way down the hallway and to the door, she wondered why she never thought to give Dean a chance. He seemed like a stand-up guy from the brief time they’d known each other—definitely nicer than some of the men she’d wasted her time on in the past. Truth be told, she hadn’t been in a serious relationship for years. The longest lasted four months, and even that was a stretch—the bulk of the relationship consisted of going out every weekend, getting semi-drunk, hooking up, and repeat. A sensitive, eager-to-please guy like Dean would be a nice change of pace. But even logic couldn’t force her into being interested. She hoped it wasn't the side effect of some newly-acquired, self-destructive behavior.

It was cold, much colder than she remembered late January to be. The sun was already beginning to dip below the buildings, casting a hazy golden glow to mix amongst the shadows in the street. The walk home, although a nuisance in the winter, gave Katie a reprieve from her otherwise monotonous routine. She cherished the twenty minutes it took her to walk from work to her apartment because it gave her time to slow down and observe the goings-on in the small city so dear to her heart. But today, her mind didn’t have space to pay attention to her surroundings. Muscle memory guided her home as she replayed the last time she saw Brian over and over again in her head.

 

***

 

_**May 5, 1974** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

 

_Katie peered around the corner of the block, fingers knitting themselves nervously into the hem of her sweater. She was early––it was only 9am, and he had asked her to meet him at quarter to ten. Every single one of her nerves were on edge. Taking a deep breath, she entered the coffee shop. As she located a sequestered table in the back, she reached into her purse to pull out the slip of paper whose contents had been tossing and turning in her mind since the night before._

 

> _“I’m terribly, inextricably sorry. I shouldn’t have been so forward––I was out of line. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, won’t you join me tomorrow morning for coffee?”_

_The note was concluded with an address and a hastily scribbled signature. Reading it for the hundredth time didn’t lessen the voltage of the jolt it sent to her heart. When Stacy came knocking on her door at 4am, she assumed it was because she needed a place to crash. Never in her wildest imagination could she have predicted the message her friend was instructed to deliver._

_Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she wondered why she was here. If she couldn’t face him last night, she sure as hell wouldn’t be able to face him this morning––_ oh god, he’ll probably show up looking irresistibly sleepy and disheveled _. The mere thought caused her to melt into her seat._ What was he going to say? What am _I_ going to say? Did he expect everything to be normal––two friends getting coffee? _She could already feel her resolve beginning to crumble. She hated this. She hated_ him _for doing this to her. Glancing at the clock, the realization that she would have to face him in less than 20 minutes terrified her. In what could only be described as a compulsive decision, Katie rose from her chair and all but dashed for the exit. Heart pounding, she walked and walked until the distance between her and the cafe was sizable enough to set her frayed nerves at ease. She couldn’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm on a break from school so my productivity is at an all-time high right now, so plan on getting a new chapter every day or two!
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoy this one. the next chapter is gonna be even better i promise

_**January 27, 1976** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

  

“Do you think I should be going for a more casual look, so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying too hard? Or should I just go all out?” Katie shrugged her shoulder in an attempt to prop her phone up against her ear. In front of her, every article of clothing she owned lay in a jumbled heap. She groaned.

“You should definitely dress better than I am––I’m just gonna wear some slacks and a nice top. You still have that miniskirt you bought in Boston, right?” Stacy’s level-headed, reasonably voice reassured Katie somewhat. At least someone knew what the hell she was doing.

Pulling the cord with her as she moved, Katie knelt down to rummage through her clothes. She spotted the black fabric of the skirt in question. “Yeah––it’s right here. You think that will work? What would I wear with it?”

“Hmm. Do you have any nice long-sleeved blouses? Preferably one with buttons to undo.” Her teasing laugh echoed through the receiver.

Katie rolled her eyes, grinning. “I’m not necessarily planning on seducing him, okay? But yes, I think I have a blouse like that.”

“Alright, okay, whatever you say––just know that I don’t believe you. Now go try them on! We’re running out of time.”

Balancing her phone carefully on her nightstand, Katie pulled the skirt and a silky white blouse out of pile. Quickly shirking herself of her work clothes, she tuggest the tight skirt up over her modestly-sized hips. The mirror hanging on her wall was only a few feet long, so she had to bring a small stool into her bedroom in order to get a good look at herself. She had to admit, the skirt looked good––definitely tight, definitely shorter than she was accustomed to, but it somehow managed to accentuate the slight curves she did have. The front was adorned with a line of mother-of-pearl buttons right down the middle, giving it a subtle fashionable twist. Satisfied with the skirt, she pulled the blouse over her head. Its material was light, but not so light that it was see-through. The sleeves draped slightly but came to a tighter finish at her wrists. She tucked the hem into her skirt––as much as it allowed––and fluffed it out until it sat the way she wanted. As she turned to examine herself from all sides, buds of confidence began blossoming in her chest. It wasn’t the most obvious “look at me” outfit, but she was surprised at how  _ good _ she looked. Remembering that Stacy was waiting for her assessment, she dove for her phone. “Stace? You still there?”

“Yes I’m still here, was I right? Do you like it? Can we get going?” her friend responded with gentle impatience.

“Yeah, you were right. I love it!” Katie glanced down at the clock sitting on her nightstand. The hands read half past six.  _ Shit _ .

“Good, finally! I’ll be at your place in ten to pick you up. Be ready  _ please _ .”

There wasn’t time to clean the havok she had brought upon her room––that would have to wait until tomorrow. Katie dashed into the tiny adjoining bathroom and fished around for a tube of mascara in her cluttered drawer of odds and ends. Locating the small blue tube, she brandished the wand in front of the mirror.  _ Please, please don’t smear, _ she begged as she quickly swiped on a couple layers. Success! Praying she still had enough time, Katie grabbed for a pair of gold earrings and a matching necklace, both set with small opals––her favorite. A familiar honk interrupted her as she frantically tugged her only pair of nice black boots onto her feet. “Shit, shit,” she mumbled to herself as she peered out the window to spot Stacy’s blue mini. She hastily scanned her bedroom once more to ensure she had everything she needed before gathering her purse and coat and running out the door.

 

***

 

“I’m surprised they booked a gig here again,” Stacy commented, shifting her weight from foot to foot. They were approaching minute fifteen of waiting in line outside, and Katie’s legs were beginning to go numb. “It’s not a very big venue. Aren’t they selling out larger theatres by now?”

Katie nodded, shivering. “I think so? At least, I’ve seen them make an appearance in a few bigger newspapers recently, so they must be picking up traction. What  _ is _ taking so long?” She craned her neck, attempting to peer over the people in front of them. It was nearly eight and the show would be starting any minute.

Stacy shrugged, wrapping her scarf tighter around her neck. “Maybe they oversold it? I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She glanced at Katie and, noticing her friend’s increasingly worried expression, added, “You know, I heard they’re holding a small party afterwards. At the hotel they’re staying at, the Hampton downtown.”

“How the hell did you hear that?” Laughter bubbled in Katie’s chest. She knew Stacy was always on top of the music scene, but this level of knowledge surprised her. 

Flashing a devilish grin, Stacy responded, “I have my sources. But that’s not important––what’s important is that we’re going.”

Katie’s stomach did a somersault. The reality of her evening was becoming more apparent by the minute, and she wasn’t sure if she could keep it together for long. It was crazy enough that she was about to see Brian in person, on stage in his element, but meeting him at a party was another tier altogether. It was a dream-come-true, literally, but that didn’t stop her nerves from unraveling. “Hm. How do you suppose we’ll get in?” she asked as they shuffled closer to the entrance.

“We’ll find a way, trust me. When have I ever let you down?” She winked. “Besides, it’s your only opportunity to finally get some closure for whatever happened between you two last time. I don’t believe that you’re over him––you’re so bad at lying. Every time I mention him, your eyes light up and give you away.”

Hoping her blush wasn’t too obvious, Katie conceded. “I am excited to see him again.”

“I knew it!”

After what seemed like hours, although it must’ve only been a few minutes, they finally reached the large golden doors. Stacy handed their tickets to the clerk and they were inside. Because of Katie’s earlier outfit dilemma, they were some of the last people into the theatre. This meant they were confined to the very back of the lower-level seating. Katie was disappointed, but figured it gave her more time to rally her wits about her before seeing him face-to-face.

“Damn, I should’ve brought my glasses,” Stacy lamented next to her as they situated themselves in their seats.

“Shh, it’s starting,” Katie whispered as the lights went dim. The sound of a tape being played echoed through the speakers. Suddenly, the immediately-recognizable notes of the operatic section of Bohemian Rhapsody greeted her ears, bringing a huge smile to her face. Lights flashed, beaming crimson shadows onto the vacant stage. Then there they were, all four of them, emerging through a dramatic cloud of fog. Her heart began to ache––she didn’t realize how much she missed this sight. Deaky, predictable as ever, positioning himself on stage left and bouncing along to the beat. Roger, expertly brandishing his drumsticks behind his kit, poised to give it the beating of its life. Freddie, striking in his skin-tight, black velvet bodysuit––a very deep V cut into the fabric on his front, exposing his entire chest and stomach but ending before it reached below his waistline. And finally, Brian. Katie’s eyes lingered on him in awe as he began strumming out the solo for the rock portion of the song. She didn’t know whether he’d look the same as before––Freddie’s hair was much shorter, Roger’s shaggier––but he looked  _ better _ , if that was possible. The familiar mane of curly black hair dusted his shoulders as he pierced the audience with a deftly-fingered riff. But what really struck her was the shimmery shirt and shawl draped across his lithe frame. With each movement he made, it positively glittered in the multi-colored lights, making him impossible to ignore.  _ Jesus––he’s even wearing the same necklace _ . She wondered how a man could look so ridiculously feminine and yet radiate pure masculinity. 

The drums played in unison with her heartbeat as she and Stacy snapped along to Killer Queen. They shared an elated smile, and Katie knew that regardless of how the night went, this was an experience she’d never want to forget. Each song somehow exceeded her expectations, going beyond the quality of the studio versions she knew by heart. The universe seemed to be in her favor, because they performed every single song that heavily featured Brian’s playing. As she watched him meticulously pick through his lengthy solo for Brighton Rock, she wondered if he knew how distracting his habit of tilting his hips to support his guitar was. The sheer concentration written on his face combined with the calm, controlled movements of his hands was going to be her undoing––hell, she was already undone.

To the audience’s delight, they finished their phenomenal set with a cover of Jailhouse Rock. By this time, every single person in the packed venue was on their feet, clapping and stomping along with the music. Freddie egged on the audience with an evocative display of hip thrusts, repeating the chorus until the band finished with a dynamic crescendo. The thunder of applause began before the song was over––the four of them stood together near the front of the stage and waved, gigantic grins plastered on their faces. Katie whistled, basking in the blissful atmosphere of excitement and energy. Next to her, Stacy couldn’t keep her jaw from hitting the ground.

“That was amazing! Oh my god!” Stacy shrieked, clapping her hands to her head in amazement. “I don’t remember them being that good!”

Katie scooped her stunned friend into her arms for a spontaneous hug. “Stace, I love you so so much for getting these tickets.” She could feel her friend’s smile against her cheek and pulled back to face her.

“I love me too,” she joked. “Okay, as much as I’d like to sit down and recuperate from that, we should get moving. We have a party to catch.”

With a laugh, Katie nodded, following her out of the theatre and into the cold. Ears still ringing, they perched themselves on the curb, hands stuck out in the pursuit of a taxi. “I wonder what their parties are like, if they fit into the rock and roll stereotypes,” she mused. “What am I supposed to do if I’m offered a line of coke?”

A yellow taxi pulled over in front of them and they quickly hopped inside. Rubbing her arms, Stacy replied, “I don’t think you need to worry about that. Queen seems  _ very _ tame compared to some of the bands I’ve been familiar with.” Then, speaking to the driver, she instructed, “Take us to the Hampton, please.”

Katie nodded, breathing into her gloved hands in an effort to warm up. She watched the lights of the night go by in a blur through her fogged-up window. 

The drive should’ve only taken mere minutes, but there was more traffic than usual due to the concert. By the time they reaching their destination, Katie was getting antsy. She fished in her purse for a couple dollar bills and thrust them up to the driver. “Keep the change.” They scooted out of the backseat and into the street. Taking a moment to readjust her skirt, Katie looked up at the massive building. It made sense that Queen was staying there––it was the more prestigious hotel in Waterbury by far. Hooking her arm in Stacy’s, she nudged her forward. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Eager, are we?” Stacy laughed and let Katie pull her towards the ornately decorated glass doors. “It’s okay, we’ll be fashionably late.”

The interior was more impressive than Katie expected. The decorative marble floor and golden chandelier immediately made her feel out of place and underdressed. It was also quieter than expected––she almost wondered whether Stacy had the right location. But as they approached the elevator, a bouncer appeared from around the corner and to stop them.

“Excuse me miss, I’m afraid I need to see your room key before I allow you up––just a precautionary measure to ensure that our… guests aren’t disturbed.” Katie had to look up high to make eye contact with the burly man who stood in front of the elevator, blocking their path. 

Nervously tugging on her skirt, Katie ventured, “I, ah, we don’t actually have rooms here, but we’re friends of Queen––we’re here to join the party they’re holding.” Stacy gave her an exasperated frown––clearly she didn’t approve of Katie’s truthful approach.

The large man shook his bald head, crossing his arms across his chest. “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. I’ve had to stop too many girls tonight already, and I’m sorry, but you two won’t be the exception. Our guests do not want to be bothered by hysterical fans.” He shook his head disapprovingly and pointed back towards the exit. 

“We aren’t ‘hysterical fans’! I swear, we do know them! Come on, just go ask them, any one of them. They’ll tell you,” Stacy scoffed, glaring at the bouncer in defiance.  _ Uh oh. _ Katie knew how quickly her friend’s temper could be set off, and the last thing she wanted was to make a scene.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave, now.” 

The veiled threat in his increasingly-perturbed voice scared Katie. She grabbed Stacy’s arm, tugging her back towards the doors. “We can figure something else out,” she whispered through gritted teeth. “I bet we––”

“Katie? Is that you?” A voice exclaimed from across the room. 

Dropping Stacy’s arm, Katie turned in astonishment to see Roger walking towards them from across the lobby. The man she saw looked to be a slightly more grown-up version of man she remembered sharing jokes and laughing with. Ever the fashion connoisseur, tonight had him sporting a black blazer embroidered with delicate white leaves. A pair of gold necklaces adorned his otherwise bare chest. Seeing him was such a relief, she could almost cry. “Rog!” She dashed across the room and into his open arms. He embraced her for a moment before holding her at arm’s length.

“Blimey, love! It really is you. You look a dream,” he raved, looking Katie up and down with a grin. “What brings you here?”

“We came to see you guys, actually,” she explained, gesturing to Stacy behind her.

Roger looked over Katie’s shoulder at Stacy and nodded. “Stacy, looking ravishing as always.” He gave her his best schoolboy grin and Katie could her hear snort in amusement. “You’re in luck––I’m headed up right now, you can come with me if you’d like.” He held out his arms, and the two girls accepted his invitation happily. The trio waltzed towards the elevator and past the bouncer, who seemed quite displeased at the sudden turn of events. He begrudgingly watched as the silver doors opened and closed behind them.

Once they were sure the doors had closed, Katie and Stacy burst into fits of giggles. “Did you  _ see _ his face?” Katie gasped. 

Stacy nodded, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “Jesus. Someone clearly has a stick shoved far up their ass.”

Roger grinned, reaching out to press the button for the 12th floor. “Nothing has changed between the two of you, I see. How’d you manage to find us?”

“We were just at the show, actually,” Stacy replied, regaining her composure and fluffing her hair back into place. “Someone told me there might be a part here afterwards.”

“Mmm, and right they were. Say, you’re not still seeing Ian, are you?” Roger asked cheekily, changing the subject.  _ Typical _ , Katie thought with a smirk. He wasn’t anything if not persistent.

Stacy raised an eyebrow and shook her head coyly.

“You’re gonna have a great night tonight ladies, that I can assure you. We have a bit more money these days to spend on occasions such as these,” Roger boasted as the elevator slowed to a halt and let out a ding to announce their arrival. As the doors began to open, Katie tapped into her reservoir of confidence. Tonight she would see Brian again, and if everything went smoothly, maybe they could pick up where they left off. She was determined not to let him go so quickly this time.

“I see the fun has already begun,” Roger observed as they stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. People of all shapes and sizes filled the modestly-sized space, clutching glasses of champagne in their hands and chatting animatedly. Suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious about her presence amongst so many strangers, Katie turned to look for Stacy. Her friend had found a rack for her coat, and Katie followed suite. 

“This is amazing,” Stacy breathed, eyeing the table full of alcohol and appetizers.

Humming in agreement, Katie straightened her skirt and scanned the room properly. Almost immediately, as if drawn by some invisible force, her eyes met with a pair of intense hazel ones staring right back at her from across the room.  _ Brian. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY these two dumbasses get the second chance they desperately needed. took them long enough ;)
> 
> apologies in advance for the way i ended this chapter... but don't worry, the next part will be up in a day or two!
> 
> as always, much love for taking time to read whatever it is that this has become <3

_**January 27, 1976** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

  

It took Katie a moment to process what her eyes were seeing. She stood frozen, feet cemented to the floor as she locked eyes with Brian. Even though he was on the other side of the room, dozens of people separating them, she still felt a shiver creep down her spine at the intensity. Breaking the stare to sidestep a stout man stumbling towards the refreshments, she began weaving her way through the mass of bodies. Before she knew it, there he was. He looked every bit as irresistible as he did on stage, although this time with a cream-colored button-up––only halfway buttoned, as usual––and a black scarf hanging loosely around his neck. In his hand was a half-empty glass of champagne.

“Katie.” He managed to infuse the single word uttered from his lips with deep, visceral emotion, and it left her short of breath. 

“Brian, hi,” she responded weakly, a smile trembling at the corners of her lips. They hadn’t seen each other in almost two years, but in that moment, it felt as though only days had passed––the emotions of that night returned to her with a vengeance.

“I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again,” he murmured. She couldn’t read the expression on his face.

Leaning against the wall for support, she bit her lip. “I didn’t think so either––but I managed to snag tickets to your show. And now I’m here.” She shrugged her shoulders with a smile.

His eyes flickered over her body, setting her cheeks ablaze. “So you are.” A timid grin crept across his face as he mirrored her by leaning against the wall. “I was dead certain you didn’t want to see me ever again, after the way you left––”

“No, no,” Katie interrupted, wanting desperately to dispel the notion that she was disinterested in him. As she attempted to explain herself, he watched her with a careful, calculating gaze, eyes soft and head tilted. “That wasn't it, I was just—intimidated? By you.” The words spilled out of her mouth before she could decide whether or not they were the right ones to say. “I didn't mean to offend you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”

His free hand fidgeted with his scarf, as if he wanted to reach out to touch her––and she wished he would. “It’s alright. Y’know, I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I mean that.” He cracked a smile, flashing his adorably pointy canine teeth. “I just still can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“I guess I just couldn’t stay away,” Katie half-joked, grinning back at him. Her eyes wandered down his chest and to his right hand, which was currently occupied with his nearly-empty glass. She noticed his thumb tracing the crystal idly, her imagination filling in the gaps between what she was seeing and what she hoped he would do to her.

“And I’m glad for that.” His laughter dispersed the remainder of her nerves––this was the same soft-spoken, easygoing man she first met. “So you still live in Waterbury, huh?”

“Mhm, not much has changed for me. Doesn’t seem like you can say the same––your show tonight? Fucking fantastic! I couldn’t believe how many people you managed to pack into that theatre.”

He brought his glass to his lips, taking a sip of the golden liquid before responding. “It all seems a bit surreal, if I’m being honest. This is our third time touring America, but ticket sales have picked up astronomically since A Night At The Opera.” Reaching up to rub his chest, he added, “I’m still not entirely convinced that it isn’t a dream.” 

Katie resonated with that sentiment, but for a much different reason than he was indicating. “I’ve kept up with your music, and I’m surprised it took this long for my country to realize how  _ good _ your stuff is. No, I mean it, seriously!” she assured as he blushed and tried to bat her compliment away. “You’ve ruined all other artists for me. I can’t listen to anything else.” She leaned her head against the wall, looking up at the guitarist adoringly. 

“I feel as though I ought to apologize for that, but I can’t find it in myself to do so.” He laughed. “Does that make me selfish?”

“Maybe.” Katie raised an eyebrow mischievously.

He shrugged his shoulders, angling his head and shoulders towards her in a not-so-subtle attempt to minimize the height difference between them. “Hmm, pity.” A breath of quiet fell comfortably between them as they basked in each others’ presence. 

Pushing herself away from the wall, Katie broke the silence. “I think I’m going to get a drink––want anything?”

“Ah, I’ve already had a few tonight, I probably shouldn't. You go ahead, I’ll be here.” His eyes followed her closely as she stepped away from their bubble and made her way across the room towards the alcohol. The dimly-lit lobby was buzzing with a pleasant liveliness, laughter bouncing off the wallpapered walls in every direction. Katie found the alcohol to be in short supply, but she managed to pour herself a full flute of champagne. As she took a tentative sip, a hand brushed her elbow. Reflexively, she spun around to see who had touched her.

“Deaky! Oh my god!” Nearly spilling her drink, Katie flung one arm around the grinning man standing before her. He accepted her embrace with a gentle pat on the back. She pulled away, still not believing her eyes. “I can’t believe it’s you!”

He blushed. “I can’t say I’m any less surprised myself! You look great, Katie,” he complimented, giving her a bashful smile. “Whatever brings you here?”

“Oh! I missed you all so much, and after seeing the show I  _ had _ to see you all again. How are you?” She took another sip of her drink, resting a hand on her hip as she fixed her eyes on the bassist.

“Grand, just grand. It’s been a whirlwind of a month, but each city we’ve been to has welcomed us with open arms. It’s taken a few years to get America to like us, but I think they’re finally coming round, y’see.” He winked. “And you? Goodness, it’s been ages––you’re sure a sight for sore eyes.”

Katie’s heart swelled––his interest in her well-being touched her, as insignificant as it might be. “I’ve been alright, better now that I’m here.” She laughed.

“What’re you two prattling on about?” Katie felt Brian’s presence behind her before she heard his voice. His hand ghosted over the small of her back as he loomed over her shoulder, leaning down to insert himself into their conversation. She was taken aback by the forwardness of his gesture, but gladly leaned into his touch.

“We were just catching up.” Deaky eyed Brian carefully, a knowing look on his face. “But I have to be getting back to Gerry, anyhow. It’s great to see you again, Katie.” With a gentle smile and a nod of his head, he disappeared back into the crowd.

Reluctantly, Katie pulled away from Brian’s hand so she could turn to face him. “What was that?” she asked teasingly, taking a sip of her drink.

He looked beautifully confused, blinking several times at her question. “What was what?”

Doing her best to suppress laughter, she shook her head. “We were only talking, I wasn’t going to leave you in the corner all alone.”

Flushing a delightful shade of pink, he ducked his head before looking at her with a sheepish grin. “I know.”

“Here, come with me––the music’s too loud to talk.” Katie took his hand in hers and steered them back towards the junction between the hallway and the lobby. “There, that’s better.” She dropped his hand and pressed her back against the wall, taking another sip from her glass.

Contemplative eyes observed her open posture––he tentatively leaned one arm above her, still keeping a bit of distance between them.  _ He’s testing my boundaries.  _ “So tell me. Do you still work as an editor, or have you moved on to other things?”

“I do, actually! I’m surprised you remember that.” Her fondness for him was growing by the second.

His lips parted for a moment before he spoke. “Of course I remember. I ‘aven’t been able to forget you since… that night.” The sincerity in his voice and the significance of his statement caused Katie’s heart to trip over itself. Suddenly, the room felt ten degrees warmer.

Unsure of how to respond to his blatant declaration, Katie’s voice faltered at the intensity of his stare. “I… yes, um, I am. I’ve actually been promoted to manager now, which has done wonders for my bank account.” She offered a weak smile, hoping the fireworks in her chest weren’t visible.

“Tha’s great! Really, I’m happy for you. You mus’ be outstanding at what you do, which doesn’t surprise me.” Her attention to the conversation was dwindling by the second as she noted his slightly slurred speech, his face glowing in the dimly-lit hallway. The light cast golden threads through his mass of dark curls and it took every ounce of her self-control not to reach out and submerge her fingers in its depths.

A loud cheer arose from the lobby, grounding Katie in her reality.  _ I’m at a party. In a hotel. That means… _ “Is your room one of these, then?” she asked with an impish grin, pointing down the hall to the collection of doors along the wall. She stepped away from the wall, drawing him towards her with her eyes. 

Clearly intrigued at the possibilities underlying her question, he studied her face before taking the bait and following her down the hallway. “Yes. Bet you can’t guess which one.”

Grinning, she turned her back to him to survey the carpeted corridor. The sounds of the party were dissipating more and more with each step she took. She could hear his soft footsteps behind her––the thrill of being alone with him combined with the alcohol in her system sent a surge of fire through her veins. The first door on her right was labeled “Freddie”. Suddenly she understood his taunt. Glancing back at Brian to find him examining her every movement with close scrutiny, she kept onward until she was face to face with the door she wanted. “I’m going to hazard a guess and say this is it,” she said, her voice coming out barely louder than a whisper. 

He had kept silent during their venture away from the party and down the hall, keeping a respectable distance between them. But now there he was, standing on the other side of the doorway in question, eyes lidded with arousal. “I suppose you’re right.” He kept his eyes on her, daring her to make the defining move. 

Katie’s breath hitched in her throat as she watched her hand reach down to turn the knob and push the door open with a quiet creak of hinges. The room was dark, veiled shadows of the city scattered across the floor. By instinct, her eyes were drawn to the queen-sized bed situated in the middle of the room. Satisfied with what she saw, she turned and––in one fluid movement––pulled Brian inside and shut the door with a soft click. She could barely make out his expression in the darkness, but she could discern the twinkle of desire in his eyes. Training her eyes on his lips, she unconsciously parted hers, her labored breathing accentuating the silence between them. He was so close––the scent of his cologne and aftershave permeated the air. Before she was able to wonder if she should make the first move, his hand came to rest on the wall behind her head. She felt his body move impossibly closer, cornering hers against the wall. A hand reached up to trace her jaw and she forgot how to exhale. Fuck––she couldn’t take it anymore. Angling her head upwards, she leaned forward eagerly and captured his waiting lips in hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is chock-full of reader (and writer) indulgence... but we all knew this was coming. ;)
> 
> i'm excited to write the next chapter, because that's when things REALLY get interesting.
> 
> as always, let me know what you liked/disliked with a comment! i really appreciate all your feedback <3
> 
> ***ALSO: if interested, you can follow me on twitter @ brianmayfucks - i've been compiling a thread of photosets/quotes/playlists for each chapter of this fic after being nagged by a friend lmao

_**January 28, 1976** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

  

Katie didn’t think it was possible to be  _ this _ hypersensitive to another person’s touch. Each brush of Brian’s fingertips against her skin flooded her brain with pleasure. She pulled away for a moment to grip the wrist of his hand that was cupping her chin, drinking in the tenderness of his touch. 

“You have no idea… how many times I’ve imagined doing that.” His voice, hoarse with desire, colored the dark with its neediness. 

Unable to summon the words to articulate the effect his confession had, her mouth instead followed his for a second kiss, delighting in the feeling of his lips on hers. Gentle fingers caressed her waist, hand resting comfortably on her hip. Desperate to meld her body with his, she reached up to weave her fingers into his soft curls and tugged his head towards her, deepening the kiss. Tongue lightly tracing her bottom lip in an unspoken request, she complied readily. The feeling of his warm, lithe body pressing her into the wall was making her dizzy with want––but she needed more. Lightly pushing him away from her, she broke their kiss. His confused expression was quickly replaced with understanding as she walked him backwards until his legs hit the bed. Obediently sitting down on the edge of the mattress, his full-blown pupils followed her hands as they reached up to begin unbuttoning her blouse. Before she was able to get more than two buttons undone, his hands were on her hips again, bringing her flush against him. Placing one knee on the bed on either side of him, she situated herself on his lap. His hands instinctively moved down to grab her ass and she bit back a gasp. Happy with their new position, she leaned down to press open-mouthed kisses against his neck, invisible stubble rasping deliciously against her chin. Feeling a moan vibrate through his throat, Katie smiled and glanced up to see Brian’s eyes fluttered shut, jaw clenched. 

“Katie…” His hands migrated up her sides, fingers tugging her shirt out from her skirt. She hummed in response, closing her eyes and letting her hands trail down his chest.

“Katie.” An edge of seriousness laced her name this time and she snapped her eyes open, finding his eyes already on hers. “There’s... something I ought to tell you, before we––”  _ Uh oh.  _ Desperate to stop him from finishing the ominous-sounding sentence, she ground her hips down onto his. His sharp inhale and the pressure rapidly building against her inner thighs told her she had succeeded. Sliding his hands down her hips and towards her thighs, his thumbs hooked underneath the bottom of her skirt. Goosebumps prickled on her newly exposed skin as he gently pushed the fabric up towards her waist. Her shaky fingers began working their way down Brian’s shirt, each undone button granting her further access to him. She wanted him to hurry up  _ goddammit _ , but he was taking his time––languid kisses and curious tongue filling the silence as one hand drew small circles on her inner thigh, the other drifting underneath her shirt. Arching her back into his touch, she parted her lips from his to allow him to lift the hem up and over her head. Her shirt had barely hit the ground before his hands were on her again, fingertips sketching the curve of her breasts. 

“This needs to come off.” She impatiently worked at the remaining buttons that were preventing her from feeling his skin against hers. Laughter rumbled in his chest as he allowed her to struggle, watching her closely with a captivated gaze. Finally succeeding, she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and leaned down to nip along his collarbone. Before she could get far, she felt his back muscles contract under her fingers. Securing her thighs in his broad hands, he lifted her up with him, spun her around, and lay her down on the mattress in front of him.  _ Finally. _ Crawling onto the bed and between her legs, he gently nudged her legs further apart, settling himself between them. 

“Come ‘ere,” Katie whined, looking up at him and beckoning with her finger. 

Flashing a grin, he rested his elbows on either side of her and brought his face down to hers. “Needy, are we?” Before she could come up with a retort, his index finger silenced her and began slowly tracing her slightly-parted mouth. The air was sucked from her lungs as she watched his eyes follow his finger, dragging itself across her bottom lip.  _ Jesus fucking Christ _ . The small gesture set her abdomen ablaze with desire––she felt like putty at his hands. The realization that she would let this man do  _ anything _ to her should be terrifying... but she couldn’t bring herself to care. 

Her fingers dug into his hip bones as he moved his attention from her mouth and down her neck. A pathetic moan escaped her lips as his mouth breathed over the thin fabric of her bra. Looking up at her, he raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t even touched you yet.”

Biting back a smile, she tangled a hand in his hair. “Brian fucking May, if you don’t get on with it––” Her threat faded into a gasp as he dropped his head and latched onto her nipple. Even through the fabric, the stimulation alone sent waves of arousal to her stomach. Her hips bucked up into his in response, and she palmed one hand over the large bulge growing between his legs. She felt his moan more than she heard it, the sound vibrating through her chest. “These have overstayed their welcome,” she complained, tugging at his waistband. Lifting his head from his ministrations, he nodded. He pulled away from her and got off the bed, unzipping his trousers and kicking them off onto the floor. She shivered from the sudden lack of body contact, and sat up to unhook her bra.

“I love how that looks on you.” Surprised at his sudden compliment, a blush spread across Katie’s chest. He stood at the foot of the bed, watching her movements with precision. Reaching over to hook his finger around one of its straps, he tugged the black lace garment off of her chest and tossed it to the floor. Eager to speed up the process, Katie attempted to tug her skirt down her hips. “Need some help?” Brian joined her effort and after a few tugs, her legs were free of the ridiculously tight piece of clothing.

With a coy smile, Katie moved over to the edge of the bed so she was eye-level with his waist. In one fluid movement she had his underwear around his ankles and grasped him in her hand. She tried not to gape at his size, but it was difficult not to. The sounds coming from his mouth were almost comical, considering she hadn’t done anything except touch him. Licking the tip tentatively, she felt his hand wrap around the nape of her neck and pull her head away. Perplexed, she looked up at him. Eyebrows knit together in pleasure, he took a moment to swallow before explaining himself. “If you do that, I’m not going to last.” With a shaky breath, he knelt down on the floor in front of her, positioning his head between her thighs. She watched as he ran his hands up her legs, stopping at the waistline of her panties. “May I?” Nodding furiously, she leaned back on her elbows as he dragged the flimsy fabric down her legs and onto the ground.  _ Oh god oh god oh–– _ “Lay back,” he ordered, lifting her thighs to rest on his shoulders. Eager to obey, Katie rest her head on the bedding, hands reaching out preemptively to grab the corners of the sheets.

Slow kisses made their way down the sensitive skin of her stomach, and she held her breath as he experimentally slipped one long finger inside of her. “So wet,” he cooed appreciatively, causing her to squirm in embarrassment. He reached up to steady her hips and looked her in the eye. “Stay still.” She watched with bated breath as he lowered his head to tentatively lap at her. Hands entwined themselves in his messy curls as his tongue worked her mercilessly, tightening the coil of heat in her stomach to unimaginable heights. Beads of sweat began forming on her forehead which was thrown back in absolute bliss. He began experimenting with a combination of his mouth and fingers, and when he simultaneously curled his index finger inside her and increased the pressure of his tongue against her, she had to fling her hand across her mouth to stifle a loud moan. It only took a few minutes of the consistent pressure and his total command over her body before her body began to tremble in anticipation. She fastened her eyes shut in ecstasy, the image of Brian’s lust-blown eyes peering up at her branded into her imagination.

“Bri, I––God I’m close.” Katie panted, chest heaving with built-up tension. 

Suddenly he pulled away, removing her legs from his shoulders. Whimpering in protest, she opened her eyes to see Brian fumbling with a condom wrapper before rolling the latex over his length. Still lightheaded from near-release, Katie moved father onto the bed as he climbed over her once again. Nestling himself between her open legs, he leaned down to catch her lips in his in a searing kiss. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked between kisses.

Touched by his concern for her, she smiled against his lips. “Yes.” He stared at her for a moment, hazel eyes filled to the brim with tenderness––a sight she immediately committed to heart. Then there he was, tip pushing gently against her. She wrapped her arms around his back and arched herself up into him as he slowly pushed deeper inside her. Small flairs of pain tore through her as he stretched her to her limit––she did her best to stifle the whimper threatened to spill through her gritted teeth. His breath came in short pants beside her ear, his muscles tense with restraint. She focused on relaxing, and soon she felt comfortably full. Pressing her cheek into his reassuringly, she murmured, “You can move. I’m okay.” 

He lifted himself up by his elbows and fixed his eyes on hers as he pulled out slowly and then pushed back in. Their moans mingled together as they fell into a perfect rhythm, bodies moving in sync as if it was second nature. Katie matched each languid roll of his hips with hers––he responded by fixing his attention to her neglected breasts. The slow build of passion sent her brain swirling in her skull, and she happily relinquished the last shred of control she had over herself and surrendered to his touch. His lips sealed themselves over her nipple––she was his. His hot tongue flicked back and forth over the sensitive bud––she was his. His hands lifted her ass up to angle himself deeper into her––god, she was his. “Fuck.” His thrusts were speeding up now, his thumbs bruising her hips with their grip. “Bri… shit.” She spread her legs even wider, wrapping them around his waist in an attempt to pull him even closer.

He dropped his forehead to rest on hers, eyes closed in exertion. “You feel so good.” He thrust especially hard into her, causing them both to moan loudly. Stubborn curls insisted on splaying themselves across his forehead, plastered by a thin sheen of sweat. “So good.” She felt his hips stutter against her and knew it wouldn’t be long. Caressing his cheek, she pulled his lips down to hers, desperate to convey the intensity of the emotions she was feeling. She didn’t want it to end. A hand reached down between them to massage her with slow, excruciating circles. The added stimulation sent shockwaves up Katie’s body and she moaned into his mouth. He swallowed it eagerly, using his free hand to reach up and stroke her cheek with his thumb. 

Their pace was building and she rocked her body back into him, absorbing each thrust with ardour. She raked her nails down his back as he bit her lip. “Katie, you’re doing so well baby.” Slipping his hand down her neck, a thumb dragged across her overly-sensitive nipple. “Come for me,” he coaxed. The sensory overload and his gravelly voice was too much––with a cry, her hips convulsed around him, and she was sent tumbling over the edge. Closing her eyes, she saw stars erupting behind her eyelids as she felt him thrust into her one final time, the familiar warmth spreading across her abdomen. His arms buckled and he collapsed beside her a moment later. Still breathing heavily, she turned her head to look at him. His eyes were screwed shut, a faint smile danced across his lips as he came down from his high. As she admired the way his nose looked in the silver light filtering through the window, she realized just how far she’d let herself become invested in him. In the remnants of her rational mind she knew this was bad––very bad––but at that moment, she was lost in his universe, and he was the center. Rolling over, she snuggled up against his side, draping an arm across his chest and burying her face in the crook of his neck. 

“That was… amazing.” His soft voice was a welcome sound. She nuzzled into him, humming in agreement. His hand lazily caressed her head, massaging gentle circles into her temple. Her eyes fluttered shut, unable to compete with the tranquility his touch incited. As she drifted closer to sleep, she felt the weight shift on the bed as he removed himself from her grasp. He returned a moment later and began gently cleaning her with a damp cloth. The last thing she remembered was the sensation of a soft kiss being pressed to her forehead before she gave into the fatigue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This took a bit longer than expected because I decided to split the last part of the "second section" of this fic into two, oops.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! Let me know your thoughts in the comments, I'd love your feedback :)
> 
> ––also, the updates may be a bit more spaced out from now on since classes have resumed for me, but I'll be doing my best to keep a consistent every-three-days schedule!

_**January 28, 1976** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

  

Beams of sunlight danced across Katie’s eyelids, the warm glow slowly bringing her back to the realm of consciousness. Stifling a yawn, she attempted to stretch the fatigue out of her legs, and in the process she felt her toes brush against what felt like someone’s leg.  _ What the-  _ Cracking one eye open, she peered curiously to her side. Memories of last night flooded back to her as her eyes came to rest on the man sleeping beside her. He was facing her, face buried in his pillow. Twisting carefully under the sheets so not to disturb him, she propped herself up on her elbow to get a better look. His curls were strewn across both the pillow and his face, forming an angelic halo to match his peaceful expression. Little breaths, almost inaudible, exited his mouth in short puffs. Soft yellow beams of the morning sun highlighted his angled nose. He looked so serene––Katie wanted to reach out and trace every line of his beautiful face. 

_ So last night  _ was _ real. _ She couldn’t suppress the giddiness swelling in her chest as she recalled how perfect it was. The man she had been pining after for years now lay sleeping next to her.  _ This must be what it feels like to be in a cheesy rom-com _ , she smirked to herself, amused at the situation. Normally she didn’t allow herself to become emotionally attached to someone so quickly, but something about Brian allowed him to bypass her carefully-constructed defenses with ease. A glimmer of apprehension dwelled in the back of her mind, but she was in too good a mood to care.  _ What was it that he said? “I haven’t been able to forget you.” _ So the infatuation wasn’t one-sided. That validation boosted her confidence tremendously, and she smiled to herself as she watch his scrawny chest rise and fall with each breath. 

The cool morning air was getting to her and the thin cotton sheet wasn’t enough to keep warm. Drawing herself toward Brian, she wrapped one arm around his waist and snuggled into his chest, basking in the heat radiating from his body. She felt him stir and his hand reached down to tangle itself in her hair.

“Morning,” Katie whispered, smiling against his skin. She glanced up to see him rubbing his eyes.

“Mmm.” Humming low in response, he stroked his fingers through her hair and squinted down at her, eyes still blurry with sleep. She chuckled, resting her chin on his chest and tracing his ribcage with her finger. His hand slid from her head down her cheek, cupping her chin gently. “C’mere.” She didn’t need to be told twice. Scooting up until her head was level with his, she happily let his lips capture hers in a slow kiss. His touch was warm and soothing, broad hands taking their time to thoroughly explore her body. It was as if he was constructing a mental map––committing her to memory––and this thought sent her heart reeling. She melted into his touch, feeling her control slip further and further from her grasp. They took their time, savoring the intimacy they were creating in the shelter of the cozy suite. Katie wondered briefly if it was possible for lips to bruise.

With a decisive maneuver of her hips, she sat up and straddled him, gasping at the sudden skin contact. Brian let out a beautifully tortured moan underneath her, hands coming up to grip her hips. Leaning down to kiss him once more, she positioned herself over him and slowly sank down. 

“Christ.” The single word spilled from his lips, slightly-parted in ecstacy, and she couldn’t stop herself from moaning in response. He felt so fucking  _ good _ . Raising her hips slightly before rolling them down again, she braced her hands against his abdomen. With each roll of her hips, she could feel his abs contract as he thrust upwards in an unhurried rhythm. His hands ran down her thighs, stopping at the bend of her knees to caress circles into the sensitive skin. Their eyes met. His gaze was soft, cloudy with desire. She watched him fall apart beneath her, the coil of heat steadily building in her stomach. He looked so uninhibited, no trace of his usual controlled-facade. Shuddering with pleasure, she leaned back, achieving an angle that made her cry out. Feeling him begin to stutter beneath her, she sped up, clenching herself purposely around him. Strong fingers dug into her ass as his thrusts became more erratic, pulling her down onto him with such force that made her certain his fingerprints would be visible for days. Her name echoed from his lips in desperate whimpers as he reached completion, riding out the wave with unsteady jolts of his hips. Searching for release, Katie frantically rocked her hips. Brian sat up, fingers reaching down to stroke her almost painfully-sensitive clit as he twitched inside her. Combined with his persistent mouth against her breasts, it was only a moment before she came undone and fell against him, panting heavily from exertion. He held her to his chest. They stayed like that for a moment, her chin on his shoulder, his chin on hers, hands tracing patterns on glowing skin.

“Good morning to you, too.” Katie laughed quietly, kissing along his jawline.

He grinned back at her, tucking a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. “Can’t think of a better way to start the day. Not a bad way to spend the rest of the day, either…” Cocking an eyebrow suggestively, he pushed her down to lay on the bed, moving to lie next to her.

Unable to resist his puppy-like enthusiasm, she let him pepper her face with lazy kisses. “When do you leave for the next concert?”

He drew back, propping his hand underneath the pillow to level his eyes with hers. “We’re off tonight for Boston, where we’ll do a show tomorrow night.” He paused, a hint of regret flickering across his face.

Not wanting to dwell on his inevitable departure, she changed the subject. “How have you found touring America to be this time around? Do you feel like a veteran yet?” She teasingly poking his arm.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it,” he admitted. “It’s a complete whirlwind. Sweeps you dead off your feet, skews with your perception of reality. If that makes sense.” He waited until she nodded before continuing. “The reception from crowds has been steadily growing, which I’m constantly astounded by, if I’m being honest. America is the holy grail for groups like us, and seeing people enjoy themselves at our gigs is a reward in itself.” A smile played on his lips. “I’m doing my best not to need a limb amputated this time around.”

“ _ What?? _ ” Katie’s eyes widened. “Is that a joke?”

Laughing at her expression, he explained his struggle with hepatitis that he contracted only days after they first met––all due to a tainted vaccine needle. Her jaw dropped as he explained the severity of his illness, but his animated hand gestures helped to lighten the seriousness. “At one point, some bloke suggested I might need my arm amputated… That scared the absolute crap out of me, Katie.” He was smiling, but she could tell the sentiment behind his words was genuine. “Can’t play a guitar with only one arm.”

“I bet you would’ve found a way, you seem bright enough,” she teased. “But I am glad you recovered. That sounds horrible.” She leaned in for a quick, sympathetic kiss.

“Enough about me, then. Tell me about you.”

She blinked, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. “Me? My life isn’t anything interesting, I don’t have any crazy stories about needing amputations or selling out theatres.”

“No, come ‘ead, tell me what’s been going on in your life. I’m interested.” His serious expression made her blush.

“Hmm. Okay, well… I’ve gotten a promotion to manager, which was pretty big.” She bit her lip in thought, trying to recall other recent significant events. “Oh! I finally got my own apartment last year, after splitting rent with some less-than-optimal roommates.” She grinned timidly. “I also got a cat.”

“A cat!” He repeated, laughing as she covered her face with her hands to shy away from his gaze. “No, I love it.” He gently uncovered her face, fixing her with kind eyes. “I much prefer cats over dogs, if you must know. I had one when I was younger, Squeaky. Loved that little fella.” 

Katie couldn’t help but to giggle at the name. “Mine’s named Lily, she can be a real pain sometimes. But so can I, so I guess that makes us even.”

“You? A pain?” His eyes wandered down her body which was only partly covered by the sheets. “I don’t believe it.”

Katie wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to feeling his studious eyes on her. “Do you ever wish you had a more ‘normal’ life?”

He hesitated for a moment, contemplating her question. “Sometimes, yes.” Glancing at her with an odd look in his eyes, he added, “I do get some time to go about being a regular human being when we’re off tour.”

She nodded absentmindedly, her imagination concocting an image of the two of them enjoying domestic, mundane things.

“Katie.” There was that voice again, the same serious tone she tried so desperately to avoid the night before. She looked up hesitantly, worry coloring her thoughts as she noted the pain in his eyes. “I-I need to tell you something, and I should’ve told you this long, long ago.” The brokenness in his voice was painfully raw and it tore at her heartstrings. Afraid of the implications, and hoping her suspicions were wrong, she wanted to reach out and hold him, caress his head, tell him everything would be alright. He took a deep breath, casting his eyes down towards the mattress.  _ No, no, no-  _

“I’m engaged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so much fun to write!! it gets pretty angsty but i like the direction it's going. you can see for yourself if you agree with me or not ;)
> 
> a fair warning--the next chapter might not be up for a week, seeing as schoolwork is picking up for me. but i promise, there's still lots left in katie and brian's story
> 
> as always, leave a comment with your thoughts! i read them all--it's what motivates me to keep writing :)

_**January 28, 1976** _

_**Waterbury, CT, USA** _

* * *

  

The two words lingered in the air like wisps of smoke, infiltrating Katie’s lungs and making it difficult to breathe. Instinctively, she withdrew her body from his outstretched hand and sat up, flames of anger lapping at her heart. She could see the hurt in his eyes as she did so, and for a split second, she felt a horrible kind of satisfaction. Then a wave of nausea hit her, forcing her to close her eyes to hold back the angry tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.  _ You knew this was a possibility, you knew it and you decided it didn’t matter.  _ But her logical conscience couldn’t prevent the sickening feeling of betrayal from gnawing at her stomach.

“Please say something. Anything.” She heard his voice crack. Steeling herself, she opened her eyes to face him. He was sitting up as well, hand running through his hair nervously as he bit his lip. The miserable look in his eyes nearly broke her heart, but her stubbornness prevented her anger from slipping away entirely.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” She was surprised at how quiet her voice sounded. Grasping the sheets in her hand, she pulled them over her naked body and wrapped her arms around her knees.

Taking a deep breath, he tugged mercilessly at a curl splayed across his forehead. “I know. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I was going to tell you last night but… I didn’t, and there’s no excuse.” Dropping his head in his hands, he let out a breathy laugh. “I'm a bloody idiot, I know I am.”

Katie half-expected him to try and defend his actions, so this reaction caught her off guard. She didn't want to forgive him—she couldn't let herself be so weak—but his sincerity seemed genuine. She wanted to reach out and comfort him…  _ Jesus Katie, what have you gotten yourself into??  _ “You’re not wrong.”

Managing a grimace, he glanced up at her. “I want you to know that it wasn’t my intention to take advantage of you. At all. But none of this was a pretense, either—I do… like you. Loads.” He blinked excessively, selecting his words carefully. “After seeing you for the first time in the back of that theatre––god, Katie.” His sentence broke off in weak laughter. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Do you love her? Chrissie, was that her name?”

His eyes widened enormously, and he fidgeted with the sheets for a moment before replying. “Yes. I do.”

“If you love her, why do this? Does she know?” Try as she might, Katie couldn’t make her interrogation sound as angry as she wanted.

“No! God no––at least, I don’t think she knows. I don’t normally let things get this far. Something about touring warps my mind and moral conscience and––oh shit that sounds horrible.” The plea Katie saw in his eyes burned holes through her tattered heart. “What I mean is… This is all my fault. I can’t tell you how much I despise myself for allowing this to happen.”

Unsure of what to say, Katie just tilted her head, emotions swirling discordantly in her mind.  _ What does he want me to say? What  _ can  _ I say? _ She had half a mind to wrap her arms around him and console him, but she desperately clung to the reality of the situation––she was the mistress. “Does this happen often?”

Sucking in a labored breath, his expression grew increasingly miserable. “No. It doesn’t. I don’t expect you to believe anything I say, but what I will say is that I’ve never been affected as greatly by someone as I have by you.”

Katie’s heart leapt into her throat. She wanted to scream. She wanted to ask him why he wouldn’t take a chance if he was so affected by her. She wanted to ask him if he loved her. She wanted to do all these things, but while she was busy deciding how to respond, a tear escaped out of the corner of her eye. Humiliated at her blatant display of vulnerability, she covered her face with her hands. “Why did you have to say  _ that _ ? Do you think that helps?!” Her shrill voice echoed off the walls. More tears.  _ Fuck.  _

“Katie, Katie, Katie.” She felt him move to sit beside her and resisted his embrace for a moment before giving in, allowing his body to press against hers. He rested his chin on her head and began rubbing her back soothingly as she surrendered to the tears, sobbing pathetically. “Shh. Please don’t cry.” The tenderness in his voice only hurt her more. They sat like that for a few quiet minutes, Brian’s calming touch doing equal parts good and bad for Katie’s mental state. When she finally brought her head up to wipe her eyes, she was surprised to see tears in his eyes, too. He gave her a watery smile, bringing his thumb up to brush away a stray tear on her cheek. “It’s alright if you hate me. I deserve it.”

Shaky laughter forced its way out of her lungs. “I don’t hate you. I wish I did, but I don’t.” She reached up to cup his cheek gently and he leaned into her touch, his eyes fluttering shut. “It’s not entirely your fault, Bri. I knew you had a girlfriend last time, so I should’ve asked. I... just  _ desperately _ wanted you to be all mine this time.”  _ And I don’t feel as guilty about that as I should _ , she thought, but kept to herself. 

Opening his eyes, he fixed her with a look so intense it made her dizzy––it was so full of love. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. Maybe he loved her, too. But she didn’t allow herself to entertain the possibility, because if this morning had taught her anything, it was that she wasn’t important enough for him to leave his fiance. His eyes darted to her lips, and before she knew it, they were kissing. Soft, unhurried lips met her trembling ones. Each kiss was more potent than the last, sucking out every last drop of anger Katie had in her body. It was then that she knew––no matter how much it hurt her, she wouldn’t be able to stop loving this man.

Brian broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers as he caught his breath. His fingers ran through her hair lazily, falling to rest on the nape of her neck. “I suppose we should get up.”

A groan escaped her lips. “No, don’t say that. I’m not ready to face the world quite yet.”

He hummed in agreement. “There’s something about the reprieve of a hotel room.” Looking at her tentatively, he bit his lip. “Can I hold you? If you’ll let me, that is.”

Without thinking, Katie nodded. In a twisted way, she felt that only his touch could pull her out of the turmoil. She fell back against the pillows and lay on her side, back pressed to his chest. He drew her in with his arm, pressing her flush against him. Letting out a soft sigh, she surrendered herself to the warmth of his body. They were so close, she could nearly feel the vibrations of his heart beating. Vines of guilt choked her with a vengeance––this was the same heartbeat Chrissie felt when cuddling with him, blissfully unaware of his adultery.

“Do you have siblings?” Brian’s voice breathed across the back of her neck.

_ What the fuck? Is he really trying small talk right now?? _ “Why?” she asked defensively, frowning even though she knew he couldn’t see her face. 

“I was just curious. There’s a lot I don’t know about you and… I want to remedy that.” His voice was laced with hurt, and she could tell her response had garnered the desired effect.  _ Good _ . 

“Isn’t that counterintuitive? Getting to know each other better, when…” Her voice trailed off, unable to complete the sentence. They both knew what she meant. 

A finger traced the grooves in her spine and she shivered. “I know, I know. I just… want to make the most of our time together. Please.” His tone was quiet, but she heard the depths of guilt and sorrow it held. 

Katie sighed, resolve crumbling. “Yes. A younger sister and brother. What about you?”

“Nah, I’m the only one. I’ve always wanted siblings, you know.” He paused, and she could almost hear the gears in his head whirring. “Seems better, somehow, to grow up with siblings.” His fingers began absentmindedly drawing shapes on her shoulders.

Katie chuckled. “How so? My siblings were a pain for the first ten years.”

“Mmm.”

She twisted in his grasp until she was face-to-face with him. “Why do you ask?”

He blushed, casting his gaze downwards. “It’s stupid, really. I try to stay in contact with my parents when we’re on tour, you see, just to let them know that I’m alive and doing well. They’ve never been entirely supportive of my decision to quit my doctorate in favor of the band. I tried to talk to them a couple nights ago, but they barely gave me the time of day.” Breaking off in bitter laughter, he added, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

Katie rubbed his back comfortingly. “That’s horrible! They  _ must _ be proud of you, they might just not know how to show it.” She paused, searching for words of reassurance. “My parents have never been great at showing their love, either.”

A timid smile graced his lips. “I know they mean well. I’m their only child, after all––their hopes and dreams ride on me. They want me to do well and I love them to death for it. But sometimes… it gets to be a bit much. I sound right daft, don’t I?”

Grinning, she took his hand in hers. “No. You’re completely right. My parents didn’t love my decision to move out on my own, but luckily they have two more kids to project their idealized hopes onto.” His fingers intertwined with hers. “Don’t let it get to you. I’m sure it’s hard seeing your son leave his many years of schooling to go off and shake his hair and pluck his guitar for the masses.”

An eyebrow shot up. “Shake my hair? Pluck guitar for the masses? Is  _ that _ what it is you think I do?” A mischievous glint shone in his eyes as his hand flashed out from her grip to tickle her sides.

“Oh no, please don’t––!” Gasping for breath, Katie writhed under his touch, peals of her laughter filling the room. “Briiiiii.”

Chuckling, he pulled back. “I didn’t think you’d be so ticklish. Good to know.”

Sticking her bottom lip out in a pout, Katie held herself protectively in case he decided to torture her again. “You caught me off-guard. It’s not fair.”

Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, he smiled and ruffled her hair. “I just couldn’t resist.” He pulled himself up into a sitting position and stretched. “I really should shower. Care to join?”

Katie propped her chin up with her fist, contemplating his offer. “Hmm. You can go ahead. I’m starving. Is there any food around?”

Hopping off the mattress, he nodded. “There should be some out in the lobby, where the party was. That is, if our roadies are on top of things this morning.” He laughed. “There’s no guarantee they aren’t still nursing headaches.”

Her eyes followed him as he picked up his discarded clothes from the night before. Admiring his lean physique, she was struck by how much he resembled a baby giraffe. She stifled a giggle.

This caught his attention. He tilted his head in curiosity, his canine teeth revealing themselves in an amused grin. “What? You sure you don’t want to join?”

She nodded. “You go ahead. I’ll find us some food.” Looking slightly disappointed, he disappeared into the adjoining room. The familiar sound of a shower being turned on greeted her ears. Yawning, she pulled the sheets back and scooted to the edge of the bed, looking for her clothes.  _ Oh shit. _ Katie didn’t remember ripping the buttons off her shirt last night, but there they were, strewn across the floor. With a sigh, she tugged on her miniskirt.  _ What am I supposed to wear? _ Scouring the room with her eyes, she spotted a closet slightly ajar. Curious, she padded over to the door and opened it. A modest array of button-ups and frilly tunics were hung sloppily on hangers, and Brian’s familiar smell of aftershave infiltrated her nostrils. Resisting the temptation to grab a handful and breathe in the smell, she selected a long-sleeve with purple and pink stripes. Pulling it over her head, she realized just how similarly-sized their torsos were––it was hardly looser than any pajama shirt she owned. Smiling fondly to herself, Katie fluffed her hair and exited the room.

Remnants of last night’s party––empty glasses, discarded napkins, crooked tables––littered the lobby. However, the table that used to be full of alcohol now held an array of pastries, breads, jams, fruits, and juice. Her stomach growled as she glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner.  _ 11:08, yikes _ . She hurried over to the table to grab a croissant, and eagerly sunk her teeth into the buttery goodness. An unexpected raspberry filling flooded her taste buds, and she almost let out a moan in delight. 

“So you’re the bird Brian hasn’t been able to keep quiet about.”

Katie almost bit her tongue in surprise. She turned around, half-eaten croissant in hand, to see a man leaning against the opposite wall. It took her a moment to recognize him as Freddie Mercury, Queen’s lead vocalist. He was cloaked in an impressive kimono and held a mug in one hand.  _ Has he been here the whole time?  _ Self-conscious about her obvious “morning-after” outfit, she attempted to suppress the flush that she felt spreading across her face. “Excuse me?”

With a melodious laugh, the man peeled himself from the wall and approached her. Katie took a step back, feeling more than a little intimidated by his scrutinizing gaze and impeccable cheekbones. “Sorry, that was a bit rude.” Looking slightly abashed, he held out his hand for her to shake. Eyeing him wearily, she took his hand in hers and shook it. “I’m Freddie, I don’t believe we’ve officially met.”

“I’d tell you that I’m Katie, but it seems you may already know that.”

He flashed a toothy grin, clearly enjoying her retort. “It’s impossible for me to be friends with Brian and not be aware of the bird he’s smitten with. He may seem quiet, but that’s a front––he talks entirely too much.”

Sputtering, the crimson Katie was trying so hard to restrain colored her cheeks. “He  _ what _ ?”

“Oh darling, don’t act like you don’t know it. He’s not known for his outstanding ability to hide his emotions.” Freddie sipped his drink, examining Katie’s expression. “You really didn’t know, huh?”

Shaking her head, Katie leaned against the table for support. “I didn’t think much of it after the first time we met––he’s a musician, after all. Isn’t that what they do? Seduce women?”

He cocked an immaculately-plucked eyebrow. “Most of us do, perhaps. Our Brian’s a bit of a special sort, he doesn’t quite fit the stereotypical mold of a rockstar. Surely you’ve noticed that.”

She nodded, sneaking in a bite of her croissant.  _ Why is he telling me this? _

As if he could read her thoughts, he continued. “You should be careful. He loves too much, too hard, and he can’t help himself. I worry about the poor bastard too often.” He set his mug down and reached into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “Ciggie?”

“No thanks, I don’t smoke. And you don’t need to worry––I don’t have any pretenses about us being together.” She exhaled bitter laughter. “You don’t need to remind me.”

Letting out a puff of smoke, he scrunched his eyebrows together in sympathy. “Oh no, no, I didn’t mean to imply––what I meant was, you seem like a genuine girl, and from what I’ve heard, incredibly smart and witty.” Katie cast her eyes to the carpet, taken aback by the sudden compliments. “I just don’t want to see you being hurt. I see it far too often with Roger’s girls as it is.”

She left out an amused snort, letting her defensive guard down a bit. “I appreciate your concern, I really do. I have no intention to come between Brian and Chrissie, you don’t need to worry about that. To be honest, I feel like absolute shit about letting it go this far.” The prickling sensation of tears assaulted her eyes, and she blinked excessively in an attempt to keep them at bay.

Freddie set down his mug, concern painted across his face. “Oh darling… It’s alright, it’s not your fault. Come here.” He reached out with both hands, and she didn’t need to be told twice. She rested her head against his shoulder and let his arms surround her in a comforting embrace. Pathetic, quiet sobs ravaged her body, her tears soaking the thin fabric of his robe. “There, there.” His hand began stroking her hair, and after a minute she began to sober up. Pulling out of his embrace, she wiped her eyes and gave him a small smile.

“Thank you, Freddie.”

“Katie! There you are!” Stacy’s voice sounded down the hallway, and Katie turned to see her friend approaching her, a gigantic grin on her face. She stopped short when she noticed the tears in Katie’s eyes. “What’s going on? Are you okay??”

“Yes, I’m fine. What are you doing here?” Stepping away from Freddie, she walked over to her friend. “I assumed you left.”

A sly smile played at Stacy’s lips. “I ended up staying the night, as well. You’ll never guess––”

“G’morning fuckers.” Roger appeared through the main doorway, sidling over to where the girls were standing. He wrapped an around around Stacy and planted a noisy kiss on her cheek. “As fulfilling as last night was, I’m starving. What’s there to eat around here?”

Stacy rolled her eyes playfully and gave him a nudge in the ribs. “If you’d get yourself some glasses, you’d be able to see the food on the table over there.”

“She’s a feisty one,” Roger warned Katie with a grin before leaving to investigate his breakfast options.

Seeing Katie’s flabbergasted expression, Stacy blushed and waved her unspoken questions aside. “I’ll tell you about it later. D’you mind if we head out? I have a meeting this afternoon that I can’t afford to miss.”

Throwing a glance over her shoulder at Freddie, who stood in the middle of the room, puffing on his cigarette and watching her intently, Katie nodded reluctantly. “Yeah. We can go.” 

“Bye boys!” Stacy waved, heading towards the elevator. “Thanks for an incredible evening.” She winked, directing the comment at Roger.

“I’m sure the pleasure was all his.” Freddie raised his mug in farewell. “Miss Katie, take care of yourself, won’t you?”

Nodding feebly, Katie followed Stacy to the elevator, whose doors were now opening. “Tell Brian… Tell Brian I said good-bye. And thank him for everything.”

As the doors began to close and Stacy began to chatter excitedly about her impromptu evening with Roger Taylor, Katie only had space in her mind for Brian. His scent clung to the shirt she was wearing, and she could feel every indentation his fingers had made in her skin.  _ Hold onto the sound of his voice this time, _ she reminded herself.  _ You’re never going to see him again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand here we are, onto the third and final section of this fic! I'm guessing there will be roughly five more chapters after this one, depending on how long they get. I had to split this one up because I was already hitting 2000 words with only 2/3 of it written, lol
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy this chapter, even if it is mainly exposition/setting up the next major climax of the story.  
> Thank you all for your lovely comments––I read them all and do my best to respond to each one. You guys are what makes this enjoyable :)
> 
> Enjoy!

_**September 28, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

 

The jarring blare of her alarm clock jolted Katie awake. With a groan, she rolled over on her side and pulled the blankets over her head.  _ Please let me sleep… _ Her hand shot out from under the protection of the covers and smacked the button on the top of the clock, restoring silence to her room. Nestling into the comforting warmth of her self-made cocoon, she drifted dangerously close to the brink of sleep.

“Katie? Don’t you have work?” The sounds of her roommate, Tess, bustling around the apartment filtered through the crack in her door.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘m up.” Katie envied morning people. Rubbing her eyes, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and slipped her cold feet into her slippers. With a lethargic stretch, she heard an alarming number of her joints crackle.  _ Jesus. _ Shuffling to her closet, she carelessly grabbed the closest blouse and dress pants she could get her hands on. It seemed that was all she wore these days––after moving to New York, she realized her array of pencil skirts was a surefire way to be identified as an “outsider.” Not wanting to stand out in an already intimidating setting, her wardrobe quickly replenished itself with every color of pants imaginable. 

Situating herself in front of her vanity mirror, she hastily pulled her nightgown over her head and stared at the image for a moment. Her narrow nose seemed to accentuate the dark bags under her eyes, and she did her best to ignore them as she tugged on her gray pants. Twisting in the mirror, she admired the way the waistline accentuated her average hips and average ass.  _ Pants are a goddamn miracle.  _ She fitted the navy button-up on her shoulders and tucked the hem into her waistline, puffing the shirt out until she was satisfied with how it laid. 

“Katie! You’re gonna be lateeeee.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m nearly out the door, okay?” Grabbing a comb, she quickly ran it through her shoulder-length auburn hair and parted it to the right.  _ Good enough. _ Snatching her purse from her desk, she exited the room.

The smell of eggs and bacon assaulted her senses, evoking a loud growl from her stomach. Walking down the narrow linoleum hallway, she peered into the kitchen to see her roommate standing over the stove. “Got any extras?”

Tess turned around, plate and mug in hand. Katie didn’t know how she did it––her platinum blonde hair was already immaculately done-up, she was dressed for work, and had breakfast made, all before 9!––but her gratitude was bottomless. “You’re in luck.” Handing Katie the plate and mug, Tess watched as her roommate wolfed the scrambled eggs down at blinding speed. “Can you even  _ taste _ any of that?”

Katie shook her head and grinned at her friend’s expression. Taking a swig of the lukewarm coffee, she set the empty dish in the sink. “Thanks a million, Tess.” She leaned forward to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back around five!” Dashing towards the entryway, Katie heard Tess’s amused laughter join the whistle of the kettle. Slipping on her pair of sensible half-inch heels, she was ready, and out the door she went. 

***

New York City was one of the most vibrant––and intimidating––cities Katie had ever experienced. Each day she took the subway downtown to work, and yet she still couldn’t anticipate the oddities she might encounter on the ten-minute transit. Fussy babies, construction workers, dogs that looked like rats, women shrouded in clouds of perfume––you name it, it was all there. Today, as Katie stepped into the car, a peculiar man wearing a multicolored, checkered blazer captured her attention. As she situated herself on the end of a badly-cushioned bench, she observed him pull a deck of cards out of his pocket, count them, and then put them away again. Catching her eye, he gave her a wink. 

The car lurched forward as it sped down the tracks, and Katie thanked her lucky stars she wasn’t standing. She rummaged around in her purse and pulled out a tube of lipstick in an attempt to brighten up her sleep-deprived complexion. The last week had been full of weird dreams and unsatisfying sleep, and Katie suspected the poster plastered on the subway car’s ceiling was at fault. Unable to stop from looking, she stared wistfully at the words: “IN CONCERT: QUEEN. SEPTEMBER 28, 29, 30. 8:00 PM AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.” She knew it was impossible to avoid Queen––especially with their recent releases dominating the radio waves––but their American tour in promotion for “The Game” guaranteed that their faces appeared in almost every single newspaper issue that went under Katie’s inspection. Not that she minded seeing the familiar mop of black ringlets… But she was firm in her decision not to go to the concert. The last thing she needed was to be reminded that the man who still held her heart in his hands was out there, enjoying life with his band, wife, and son. Although embarrassed to admit it, when she discovered the birth of Brian’s son, she felt almost more hurt than when she discovered his engagement. Marriage was one thing, but having a child with someone was a symbol of commitment, of certainty, and it destroyed any residual hopes of her future with him.

But that was in the past, and Katie did her best to move on. She even dated Dean, and to everyone’s surprise, their comfortable, moderately-satisfying relationship lasted well over two years. As nice as it was to enjoy domesticity and stability with someone again, the sneaking suspicion that she was settling crept up on Katie the longer it lasted. Each “I love you” she uttered felt fake, unconvincing. The job offer she received from the  _ New York Times _ was the perfect excuse to finally concede to the inevitable demise of the relationship. She felt guilty––she knew how much it hurt Dean, how much he loved her––but the move renewed her sense of freedom, her sense of self. For the first time in years, she felt light as a feather. It felt  _ good _ .

The screeching of wheels grinding against the track signaled that her stop was close. Grabbing a rail to steady herself, Katie stood up and joined the growing crowd near the doors. She tried to ignore the pungent smell emanating from the pudgy man next to her. The doors opened, and she let herself be ushered out by the masses, everyone in a hurry to get above ground. Katie fluffed her hair absentmindedly as she climbed the steps, glad to breathe in the fresh air of the morning. It was late September, an difficult part of the year to dress for. Clearly she overestimated the temperature––goosebumps rippled down her arms as she reached the top. Crossing her arms to her chest in an attempt to retain body heat, she walked briskly across the crosswalk towards Eighth Avenue. Skyscrapers towered over her, and she felt especially small today as she looked up towards the cloudy sky. Today was Sunday, meaning the usual commotion was much more subdued. She passed a busker on the corner and gave him a polite smile before doing a double-take––he was plucking out the tune to a Crosby, Stills & Nash song, and she was compelled to pull out a dollar to drop into his open guitar case. He gave her a big, toothy grin as she waved shyly before turning to enter the big double doors of the New York Times building. 

“Katie! G’morning.” The attendant at the main desk, Gerald, flashed her a friendly smile. He was in charge of recording who went in and out of the building. “Almost on time today.”

“Slowly but surely, it’ll happen.” She laughed and gave a passing wave before crossing the lobby to the elevator.

The editing department was located on the fifth floor, which didn’t technically require the use of an elevator, but most days Katie was either running late or couldn’t be bothered to use the stairs, as was the case today. She took advantage of her ride up to dab concealer under her eyes and apply a bit of perfume on her neck.  _ Good enough. _ As the doors opened, she prayed she wouldn’t be subject to another day of managing the sports section.

The familiar sounds of typewriters clacking, papers rustling, and phones ringing greeted her as she stepped onto the floor. Doing her best to look inconspicuous, she made a beeline to her desk, which was located at the very back of the main room. Luckily for her, the room was constantly bustling with men and women alike, so it wasn’t difficult to go unnoticed.

“Ah, Katie, good––you’re here.” Doing her best not to audibly sigh, Katie turned to see her superior, Janet, standing with one hand on her hip, and one hand brandishing a stack of spreads. “The news department is a bit short-handed today, so we need you working on these obituaries. I need them on my desk by 4 o’clock sharp.” With a curt nod of her head, she shoved the papers into Katie’s arms and walked briskly away.  _ Obituaries?? What the–  _ Leafing through the rough drafts, she groaned internally. Formatting obituaries was one of her least favorite tasks––it was something novice editors were tasked with. Because of her high standing in her previous job, Katie had assumed her new job would be similar. How wrong she was.

The day ticked on ever so slowly, and the names began blurring together in her head. _Otis, Dennis, Rose, Gertrude, Richard, Francis…_ _Why do all old people’s names sound so old??_ She took a moment to stretch her arms, pulling her elbow above her head and sighing at the sweet release of tension. It was nearly one, but she was determined to finish the damn death list as quickly as possible. Guess she’d be skipping lunch today. _This is what you get for not making yourself lunch_ , she chided herself. Drumming her pen on her desk, her eyes drifted to the front of the room where her superiors were stationed. They were in charge of facilitating the workload each day and ensuring that the next issue was completed and ready for the final pressing by six at night. Katie aspired to be in their position one day––respected, in charge, the best at what she does. 

The arrival of an assistant caught her attention. She recognized him as one of the younger male interns––from some college, she remembered. In his hands he held a rather impressive bouquet of beautiful white lilies, and for a moment Katie wondered who he was hoping to seduce. He spoke for a moment to the women at the front desk, then began scanning the room with his eyes, as if he were looking for someone.  _ Maybe he’s delivering it for someone. That’s sweet. _ Smiling to herself, she crossed her legs and doubled down on the papers in front of her. But before she could get far, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Miss Parker? I believe these are for you.” 

Surprised, Katie turned in her seat to face the flushed-cheek boy. “For me? What?”

He gestured to a card hidden between the leaves. “It’s addressed to a Miss Katherine Parker––is that you?”

“Oh! Yes, that’s me,” she stuttered, dumbfounded. She wracked her mind for any possible suitors they could be from––one of Tess’s friends? The guy in management?––but none of them seemed feasible. “Well, thank you.” She took the fragrant bundle from his arms and peeked at the card curiously as he sauntered off. “For Miss Katherine Parker” was written on the outside in graceful, loping letters. Flipping the card open, her hand flew to her mouth as she read the contents.

 

> _ Katie––I hope these find you well. They reminded me of you. I’m sending these with the hope you might fancy meeting tonight. I miss you dearly.  _
> 
> _ Bri. _

 

A slip of paper fell out of the card and onto her desk, and she leaned down to examine it. It looked to be a VIP pass for the concert at Madison Square… tonight.  _ Holy shit. _ She blinked hard, and read the card again.  _  No way. _ Her skin was buzzing with excitement––or dread, she wasn’t sure.  _ Is this real?? _ The pass sure  _ felt _ real––it was laminated and, jesus, it even had her name on it. But… why? Did he really still care about her? He must think she’d drop everything to go see him, even after all these years. Frowning, she set the flowers down next to her and tried to clear her mind, determined not to let this distract her from the task at hand. 

This, of course, proved to be impossible, and Katie just barely made the deadline for the obituaries. As she packed up her materials, she kept stealing glances at the delicate white flowers. They were simple and yet astonishingly beautiful, and for a moment she imagined Brian selecting them, after much deliberation, with her in mind. The thought made her stomach flip.  _ I thought we were beyond this, Katie _ , she scolded, exasperated at how much she was entertaining the idea of using the pass. Scooping up the bouquet and her purse, she headed towards the elevator. Tempting as the idea was, she knew the logical thing to do was to stay home, get some groceries, and go to sleep early. But the VIP pass was burning a hole in her pocket, and in the back of her mind she knew she wouldn’t be getting much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautiful people! I managed to get this one written faster than anticipated, so we're one chapter closer to the end! Crazy  
> I didn't realize how emotionally invested I'd get writing Brian's POV, it definitely was an experience. I hope you find my interpretation to be somewhat-realistic :)  
> As always, thank you for reading! You have all my love <3

_**September 28, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

Any other day, Katie might make a cup of tea, turn on the news, or flip to a page in her cookbook and attempt concocting whatever her finger landed on. Maybe she’d call her family, or Stacy, and catch up with them while she observed the flurry of evening commuters outside her apartment window. She might even try to pluck out a tune on her newly-acquired acoustic guitar. But not today. Today, there was no room in Katie’s mind to think about doing even the most menial task. Fumbling for her keys with her free hand, she murmured a few choice expletives under her breath.  _ Damn door–.  _ Finally getting it in place, she turned the key in the lock and shoved it open. Setting the bouquet of lilies on the small table in the entryway, Katie shut the door. She leaned against it, letting out a long sigh. Bringing her fingers up to massage her temples, she closed her eyes and contemplated ripping up the pass for the millionth time. “It would be stupid to go. Really, really stupid.” Opening her eyes, she stole a glance at the flowers again.  _ Fuck _ .

Tess wouldn’t be home for a solid few hours, which meant Katie had time to mope around without the judgement of her roommate. She hopped around for a moment as she yanked her shoes off. Making sure to place them neatly by the door so as not to perturb Tess, she meandered down the hallway toward her room.  _ I was so sure he’d finally forgotten me. It’s been  _ four _ years!  _ Obviously  _ she _ hadn’t forgotten  _ him _ , but she figured that made sense––her life wasn’t full of glitzy parties and glamorous women. He was the most interesting thing to happen to her. Having acknowledged that fact a while ago, Katie had reached a mental balance about the experience: it was amazing while it lasted and, all things considered, she was glad it happened. But pining away after him with the hopes of develop their relationship further was not realistic or healthy. She was  _ thirty-one _ for god’s sake––her mother’s embarrassment at her inability to find a spouse was not lost on her.

Pushing her door open, Katie’s eyes immediately fell to the desk in the corner. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt…” she muttered, eyeing the smallest drawer on the left. Unbuttoning the top buttons of her blouse, she dropped her purse onto her bed and walked over to the desk. Reaching out to grasp the small bronze handle, she pulled the drawer open. Although she promised herself she wouldn’t do this again, looking down at the loose bundle of letters stoked the flames of temptation. Her fingers lightly traced her name scrawled out on the front of the envelope, the familiar sight of his handwriting sending a wave of nostalgia through her body. Fingering the singed, blackened edges, part of her wished she had gone through with burning them entirely. Picking the bundle up carefully, she took it with her to sit on the edge of her bed. She brought her legs up to make herself comfortable before thumbing through the letters. There were three, each envelope stuffed with multiple pages. A sad smile played at the edges of her lips as she selected the first one, dated January 29, 1976––only a day after she last saw him. She remembered this one well.

 

> _ Dearest Katie, _
> 
> _ I won’t pretend as if I don’t understand why you left without saying good-bye, but I will admit it hurt a great deal. Sitting here now, alone in my dressing room, I can’t stop myself from pondering all the things I should have said, or what I should have worded better.  _
> 
> _ I know you must think very poorly of me. What kind of man gets engaged, only to develop feelings for another woman? Believe me, I wish I knew––then perhaps I could have prevented the pain I’ve caused you. My feelings for you are very real, although I don’t suppose it’s helpful to hear that.  _
> 
> _ Regardless, I want you to know that I enjoyed every minute spent with you yesterday. The beautiful, kind, passionate woman I met years ago after the show in Waterbury has always occupied some part of my subconscious, whether I’m aware of it or not. Katie, you’re an incredible woman. I hope you know that. _
> 
> _ Today we played our first show in Boston. I must say, this city is one of the most welcoming cities we’ve ever toured in America. Even on our way to the hotel, there were fans lined up on one of the main streets––for us! It’s all very flattering and will take a bit of getting used to. I wasn’t sure if America would ever warm up to us. _
> 
> _ I’m really not sure why I’m writing this. I suppose I needed some way, some outlet, to process the thoughts that have been occupying my mind the last day. Writing songs is cathartic, but that doesn’t quite cut it. Something is always left––some thought, some image––deep in my mind, haunting everything I do. It can become exhausting, if I’m being honest. _
> 
> _ I very much hope you’re well, whenever this letter finds you. I don’t know your address, but I’ll find some way to ensure you receive it. I do hope you write back. _
> 
> _ Yours, _
> 
> _ Brian _

 

The prickling sensation of tears stung Katie’s face, and she did her best to will them away. Receiving this letter, she recalled, only served to hurt her more, because it erased any possibility of hating him. How could she demonize someone when they clearly felt just as conflicted, if not moreso? It was only after this letter that she realized just how truthful he had been about the situation. This knowledge, however, didn’t do much good for her heart.

Folding the pages neatly back into their envelop, Katie took a deep breath before picking up the second letter. April 3, 1976.

 

> _ My dear Katie, _
> 
> _ What a whirlwind the last two months have been. America went by so quickly, and I can hardly believe our last show in Japan is tomorrow. It feels as though the band is a tight as ever––rehearsals seem to be doing us good. Although, I must say, more often than not I seem to be making some silly mistake on stage. It’s infuriating, really. And to think some might call me a professional performer! It doesn’t feel deserved. Sometimes a string will break, or my tuning will be off, and it takes too long to remedy the situation, and I know most of the audience doesn’t give a damn, but it really bothers me. Just the other day I played the whole of Bring Back Leroy Brown in the wrong key… I still can’t believe myself. Practice is all I can do, I suppose. _
> 
> _ But I won’t keep prattling on about my personal woes. Japan is wonderful, and the people are all so kind and welcoming. They’ve always had a special place in our heart, but each time we return I’m reminded of how lucky we are to have fans as marvelous as these. You wouldn’t think, but they’re some of the loudest audiences. We decided to add Father to Son the the setlist a few days ago––I think it’s been well over a year since we last played it––and the crowd went absolutely bonkers. The energy is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s addicting. _
> 
> _ I’m not sure if you’ve written back to me, seeing as I’m a right bellend and forgot to include how to address a letter to me. Since we’re traveling quite a bit, I suppose the best way to get a letter to me would be to send it to my mailing address in England. I’ll include that on the back of this letter. It’s also possible you haven’t responded, but that’s alright. By no means do I expect you to write back. You don’t owe me anything. _
> 
> _ It’s rather daft, but occasionally I catch myself wondering what it would be like if you were here with me. Katie, the shops are incredible. Clothes like you wouldn’t believe, all of it covered in intricate, colorful designs. And the art is magnificent. Freddie, ever the compulsive shopper, has already purchased well over  _ _ £10.000 worth of goods––I wonder how he plans to cart it all back to England! Oh, and the food. You’d love the vast array of flavors found at the markets. It took a while, but finally Japanese cuisine has grown on me. I especially love the sushi, I’ve never tasted anything like it. I miss you.  _
> 
> _ I keep thinking back to what you said that morning, about wishing you hated me. I’d understand if you did. I think I would if I were you. I keep bouncing between cherishing the moments we’ve had together and feeling wretched for taking delight in the very thing that caused you pain. But I don’t regret meeting you, as selfish as it may be. Do you regret meeting me? _
> 
> _ As always, I desperately hope you’re well. You deserve all the happiness in the world.  _
> 
> _ Ki wo tsukete (Japanese for “take care”), _
> 
> _ Brian _

 

Silent rivets of tears slowly rolled down Katie’s cheeks, impossible to keep at bay. Seeing his thought processes written down for her to read revealed just how similarly they felt, and it tore through the emotional scar tissue that took her years to grow. She wanted to scream. She wanted to curl up in a ball and cry until her body had no water left to surrender. With a feeble sniff, she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and cast the letter away. “Pull yourself together, Katie.” If she was going to see him tonight, she needed to have a solid grasp on just how excruciating it would be.

Trembling fingers reached for the last letter. September 14, 1976.

 

> _ Dear Katie, _
> 
> _ I haven't the slightest inkling as to why I’m writing this. I know you haven’t been responding––I thoroughly scoured the mailing center multiple times. I’ll do my best to make this the last, seeing as this has become a gratuitous medium for me to attempt reconciling with my continued feelings for you. For some reason I find myself wanting to tell you about every single thing that happens in my life, and I can’t explain why. I’ve just gotten married for god’s sake… I’m particularly thankful I don’t believe in religion, otherwise I’d be plagued with visions of the inevitable spot saved for me in hell when I die. _
> 
> _ We’re back in England now. It’s nice to be back home, where I can go places on my own without guides or translators. The rest period after Japan was sorely needed, I must say. As much as I hate to admit it, I don’t feel quite as young and spry as I used to––I’m only a birthday away from turning thirty, and that’s a reality I would like to avoid as much as possible. Where has the time gone? _
> 
> _ Getting back to the studio was a challenge. How do we follow the success of A Night At The Opera? I’m anxious to think that it may not be possible, but we’re doing our very best. We’ve begun recording a few numbers, and I quite like the piece I’ve written––it’s more of a hard rocker, guaranteed to get audiences riled up. It feels good to let The Red Special absolutely wail without reserve. It’s quite therapeutic. _
> 
> _ There’s one song I’ve been writing that I think may be inspired, in part, by you. The riff came to me this summer, but the lyrics have slowly been revealing themselves to me on days when I find myself thinking of you. There’s one line––“but after all this time, the more I’m trying, the more I seem to let you down”––that keeps repeating over and over in my head. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to earn your forgiveness, Katie, and that’s alright. I don’t deserve it. You deserve someone who can give themselves, completely and truly, to you and only you. Regrettably, I am not that man. I’ve wrestled with that fact, but it’s too late to change what could have been. It seems my life is doomed to be clouded with regret, but that’s my fault entirely. Maybe in the next life, I’ll fair a bit better. _
> 
> _ I will do my best to refrain from contacting you any longer. This will be my last letter, I promise. Perhaps we’ll meet again later in life, and perhaps the circumstances will be different. But I won’t torture myself with expecting that day to come. I’ll do my best to be content with the lingering memories I have of you––your delicate smile, your captivating laughter, the way your gentle eyes seem to be able to delve deep into the very essence of my soul. You make me want to be a better person. _
> 
> _ Believe me when I tell you I wish for your happiness every day. I hope you’re advancing in your career (although I know you must be), I hope you’re enjoying time with friends and family, and I hope––as much as it pains me––that you find someone who brings you joy. _
> 
> _ Yours forevermore, _
> 
> _ Brian _

  
Clutching the paper to her chest, Katie let herself fall backwards onto the mattress. Rays of the setting sun streamed through the gap in her curtains, projecting faint golden hues onto the floor. In the silence of her mind, she finally bridged the gap between her denial and her persistent rationality––never, for the rest of her life, would she be over him. As much as she tried to distance herself, to create a new life… it was impossible to avoid her underlying feelings. A pathetic sob freed itself from her chest, tears of resignation streaming down the sides of her face. Exhaustion weighed her body down, and she found herself being lulled to sleep by the quiet sound of her whimpers.  _ I’ll just close my eyes for a moment, just a quick nap… _ The alluring potency of sleep enveloped her in its dark, malevolent depths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alright laid ease we are BACK with another installment! this one took longer than expected and, surprise, i ended up having to cut it earlier than originally anticipated... which means there might be one more chapter than i expected. does that mean 5 more? i forget what number i told you guys lol
> 
> anyway! here it is, in all its glory. i hope you like it! let me know what you think in the comments :) i love you all

_**September 28, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

The soft touch of a hand on Katie’s arm pulled her from her tumultuous sleep. Blinking in confusion, Katie lifted her head to see her roommate’s familiar cascade of brown waves draped over her face, standing bent over the bed. In her hand she held a steaming mug of––rooibos tea, it smelled like. “Sorry to wake you, I just thought you might want some tea and maybe some supper before turning in for the night.” She extending the mug towards Katie.

With a soft groan, Katie sat up and stretched her arms over her head with a yawn. “‘S alright, I was going to get up to make myself something anywa- shit! What time is it??” With a flash, Katie stumbled out of bed to stand in front of a very perplexed Tess.

“Uhh, nine? I think.” She glanced at the alarm clock on the other side of the bed, still holding the cup of tea. “Nine-ten. Why?” A thin eyebrow quirked quizzically.

Threading her fingers through her hair, Katie could feel panic rising in her chest. “Fuck. Fuck! I-I was going to go meet someone…” Instinctively, she reached into her back pocket to ensure the whereabouts of the VIP pass. _It’s still there, thank god._

“Now? It’s kinda late for- Oooh, you have a date, don’t you?” An excited squeal punctuated the question, blue eyes flashing with excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me this morning?”

Grimacing, Katie sidestepped Tess to walk to her closet. “It’s not quite like that. It’s… complicated.” Her eyes scoured her limited wardrobe, weighing the options. _Pencil skirt? Fancy slacks? My old conference dress?_

Tess set the mug down and, leaning against the desk near the wall, she tilted her head. “I can do complicated. Oh Katie, do tell!” Even with her back turned to her, Katie could tell Tess had a shit-eating grin on her face.

Snatching the dress off of the hanger––a simple red number––Katie turned to face her friend. “Basically, I got involved with a guy years and years ago, and he’s kind of a famous guitarist now… And I have special tickets for his concert tonight, and I intended to go but…” She shrugged pathetically, eyeing her reflection in the mirror. “I fell asleep.”

Tess’s eyes were as big as saucers. “Oh- my god! Queen is playing tonight––you know _Brian May_ ? What?!” She stood up, strode over to Katie and gripped her shoulders. “Katie. This is _insane_. You have to go!” Suddenly, a shadow of confusion passed over her face. “Wait––isn’t he-”

Shrinking from her grasp, Katie felt a blush coming on. “Yes, he’s married. God, I know it’s stupid, I know I’m a horrible person. But I want to see him.” Folding the dress over her arm, she sat dejectedly back down onto her mattress, a wave of humiliation washing over her. Reconciling her sins with herself was one thing, but voicing them to someone else ushered in an entirely different kind of self-disgust. “I just… I think I love him, Tess. I _know_ I do.”

Eyes softening, Tess tentatively sat next to her. “I’m not judging you––I don’t know anything about this because _you_ didn’t think to tell me about it before now.” She gave Katie a playful nudge. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all.”

Shaking her head, Katie let out a bitter laugh. “It’s years too late for that. But I don’t mind, I came to that decision a while ago.” Stealing a glance at her friend, she mustered a small smile. “The show started at eight, so I definitely won’t make it for that. But I bet I can still catch him afterwards.” Jumping to her feet, she held the dress against her body. “What do you think of this?”

With a thoughtful click of her tongue, Tess stood up. “Wait right here.” Katie watched as she dashed out of the room and returned a minute later with another dress in her hand.

Katie took one look at the garment and began shaking her head. “Oh Tess, no, I couldn’t.” The two often combined their wardrobes in times of crises (such as this), so Katie was aware of this holy grail of a dress––she was also aware of how expensive it was.

Thrusting it into Katie’s arms, Tess grinned. “Yes, you’re gonna wear it. C’mon, try it on. You haven’t seen him in a while, right? You gotta make a good impression.”

Hesitantly, Katie stripped down to her undergarments and carefully slid the deliciously-tight black dress onto her body. Shimmering softly with fine sequin detailing, the skirt began at the top of her waist and ended mid-thigh. Adjusting the straps that formed a deep-v down her chest, she turned expectantly towards Tess. “What do you think?”

Clasping her hands together excitedly, Tess just nodded with a grin. “Yes. Yes! You look gorgeous, Katie. I love it on you! It’s lucky we wear the same size.” She chuckled. “Ooh, you could wear my matching heels.”

“No, that’s okay.” It was enough that she was wearing a dress that looked more appropriate for a cocktail party than a concert––she didn’t want to look like she was trying _too_ hard, even though she definitely was. “I’ll wear my flats. They’re comfier anyway.” Stealing another glance at herself in the mirror, she felt confidence blossom in her chest. The halter top and open back was beautiful, and the deep cut down the front helped her boobs look less like a pubescent boy’s chest. Her shoulder-length hair was still wavy from being slept on, and Katie rather liked the natural volume it achieved. “I should probably get going, then.” She stooped down to grab her discarded pants, digging in her pocket until she felt the important slip of paper between her fingers. With a nervous smile, she grabbed the mug Tess had set on the desk earlier and took a large swig of the lukewarm tea. “I might be back late. Or maybe not until tomorrow? I have no idea what to expect, honestly.”

Eyebrows shot up. “Ohh, okay. You know what? Maybe I’ll go stay at my boyfriend’s, just in case you need the place to yourself.” She gave a suggestive wink, making Katie blush.

Choosing a soft gray cardigan from her closet, Katie shrugged it on and slid her purse over her shoulder. “Thanks again, Tess.” She gave her friend a quick hug before heading towards the entryway.

“Don’t forget to use protection!” Tess’s teasing reminder made Katie snort. Slipping her flats onto her feet, she turned to wave.

“Thanks, mom. Wish me luck!” Taking in one last sniff of the fragrant lilies still perched on the entryway table, Katie hurried out the door.

 

***

 

Taking a taxi seemed like the best option, so when Katie reached the curb she stuck out her hand and waved frantically. Fortunately, taxis often circulating the network of streets near her apartment, and in a minute she had caught the attention of a yellow cab. Being careful not to catch her dress on the door, Katie slid into the vehicle and settled herself. “Madison Square, please.”

Attempting to relax, Katie sat back and watched the refraction of light bounce off the windows of buildings as they sped by. _I wonder if he’s changed. Have I changed? I definitely look different than I did at twenty-six._ An unwelcome bout of anxiety lanced her nerves. _My hair’s shorter, I look tired all the time. Shit, I should’ve done something about my makeup._ Smoothing her eyebrows into uniformity, she tried to remind herself of the woman she remembered seeing in the mirror only minutes ago. She’d be damned if she allowed the years of building confidence in her self-image to be questioned by this man. _You look good, bitch._

As she sat pressed up against the car door, Katie’s mind wandered back to the letters she’d read only a couple hours ago. She vividly remembered receiving the first one––at the time, she was equally surprised and infuriated by its arrival. Wanting desperately to write back but knowing how stupid it would be to encourage correspondence with Brian, she had written down what she wished she could say in an old journal––it gave her an outlet for all the pent up emotions she hadn’t been comfortable expressing openly. _I wonder if I still have those laying around somewhere._ Her determination to regain a normal love-life usurped her selfish desire to cling to the idea of being with him, so it’s possible she threw them out. God, she nearly _burnt_ the letters one night in a fit of despair, but couldn’t bring herself to let the flames destroy her last connection to him. What she _had_ forgotten about, however, was his mention of the song lyrics he’d been writing at the time. When “News of the World” was released, Katie recalled rushing to the record store to get her hands on a copy, to see whether any of the songs he wrote included the line of lyrics he’d written to her. To her melancholic delight, “It’s Late” revealed the completion of his sentiments only primitively explored in the final letter. To this day, she was still unsure on whether the entirety of the second verse was about her.

 

> _“The way you love me / is the sweetest love around / but after all this time/ the more I’m trying / the more I seem to let you down / now you tell me you’re leaving / and I just can’t believe it’s true / oh, you know that I can love you / though I know I can’t be true / oh, you make me love you / don’t tell me that we’re through”_

Did that mean he loved her? Thinking about it made her stomach churn dangerously.

Traffic wasn’t terrible for a Sunday night. By the time the cab pulled up to the plaza, the clock on the dashboard read 9:48. Thrusting a wad of cash up through the seats, Katie thanked the driver and stepped out into the cool evening air. Pulling her cardigan tighter around her body, she took a deep breath and examined the impressive exterior of the venue. The building was _huge_. Notorious for its significance in the world of music, Madison Square Garden did not lack in grandeur. It was Katie’s goal to see at least one concert here after moving to New York, but never could she have anticipated the circumstances of her first visit. With a wry smile, she marched towards the entrance and pushed the glass doors open.

Stepping onto the vast marble floor, she noted the long array of ticket booths across the lobby. The space was mostly vacant, with a couple security guards meandering the perimeter. Muffled sounds of the concert permeated the room, sending chills up her spine. _Good, they haven’t finished yet_. Noticing the odd looks she was receiving from the staff sitting at the booths, she reached into her purse for her pass. Unsure of where to go, she tentatively approached one of the open windows.

The man behind the glass barrier gave her a tired look. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

“Yes, at least I hope so. Do you know where I need to go to get backstage?” She slid the slip of paper through the slot in the glass and waited expectantly as he examined it.

With a harrumph, he nodded. “Okay. You see that barrier over there?” He pointed to the far end of the room, and Katie turned to spot a makeshift gate placed in front of the entrance to a hallway. Two security guards stood at either side of the gate. “Show them this pass and they’ll let you through. Then it’s just down the hallway a ways––the door on the right.”

Katie flashed a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

She adjusted her purse on her shoulder and approached the guards across the room. The two burly men eyed her curiously, and she did her best not to squirm under their gaze. “Hi, um, I have a pass to go backstage.” Sticking out the ticket for them to inspect, she waited as the taller of the two bent down to examine it.

Satisfied, he pulled back. “Alright miss, you’re cleared to go. Enjoy,” he added with a laugh. Stepping through the opened gate, Katie did her best to mask the blush his comment evoked. _Wonder how many women with backstage passes they have to deal with._

It was surprising how quaint the “backstage” looked. The part of the hallway closest to the lobby was adorned in framed photographs of past performers, but the farther she walked, the more plain her surroundings got until the walls were completely bare. Spotting a door ahead on her right, she felt a rush of adrenaline. _This must be it._ Cautiously, she grasped the copper handle in her hand and pushed the door open. She released the breath she didn’t realized she’d been holding—the room was empty. Well, not quite. As she stepped through the doorway, she noticed empty food containers, stray articles of clothing, and half-empty beer bottles littering the room. It seemed like a lounge, of sorts—a couple couches, chairs, and coffee tables completed the setup.

The distinct sounds of Queen playing live were much more prominent in this room––Katie could tell the stage was nearby. With one more careful glance around the room, she wandered down the connecting hallway in the direction of the music. _Is it always this quiet backstage?_ She expected there to be some personnel… maybe they were all onstage.

The sounds were louder now, and the unmistakable beginning notes of “We Will Rock You” punctured the thin walls. Her heart beat spiked in anticipation, the rousing beat of the drum eliciting ripples of goosebumps down her arms. As she walked, she noticed doors on her left every so often–– Freddie, John, Roger, Brian. _These must be their dressing rooms_ . She lingered for a moment in front of the door labeled “Brian” before tearing herself away. Suddenly, she realized the music was absolutely clear––an opening on the right loomed in front of her, and she could hear the cheers and screams of the crowd as Freddie belted his beautiful vocals. Rushing to peer through the doorway, her eyes were rewarded with the sight of the stage. It looked much different from behind, obviously––there was lots of equipment and stage setup that blocked the audience from her view. She could see Roger, elevated in the center with his drum kit, banging away mercilessly at the snare drums in perfect time. A gigantic grin spread across her face as she watched him and listened to Freddie absolutely wail the third verse. Feedback began seeping through the amps, and before she knew it, the unmistakable sound of the Red Special began picking through the guitar solo. She knew the solo was coming––however, Katie wasn’t prepared for the sight of Brian walking backwards to stage left. Looking downright energized, a few curls stuck to the sheen of sweat that covered his face. In his hands he wielded what looked like a yellow version of his Red Special, which struck Katie as odd. _Maybe something happened to the original?_ He was wearing a striped gray long-sleeve––she didn’t understand how he did it––and an open black vest detailed with… spiderwebs? A giggle evaded her lips. _How the hell does he get away with wearing stuff like this and still look so good?_ In any case, he looked incredibly good. She could almost see the muscles ripple in his forearm as he expertly slid his hand up and down the fretboard. He looked so concentrated, so focused on getting each little note right... Intrusive thoughts about what those hands could be doing to her clouded Katie's mind. Oops. 

She knew Brian couldn’t see her unless he turned completely around, so, feeling emboldened by this realization, she stepped out into the threshold. Leaning against the doorframe, she watched as he strummed his final, powerful cord to end the song. The combined sound of the guitar feedback, bass, and drums reverberated across the arena and nearly blew her eardrums out. The raw sonic power was _incredible_. Dazed in amazement, Katie stayed rooted in her position as the four men gathered near stage left to wave to the audience. She didn’t even move when they turned toward her to head backstage. Deaky caught her eye first, and the smile that lit up his face was adorable. He pulled his bass over his head to hold it in one hand and gave her a little wave with the other. She waved back, laughing happily at the expressions on Freddie and Roger’s faces as they recognized her, too. As they approached her, energy almost visibly radiating from their post-concert bodies, Katie’s eyes locked with Brian’s. For a moment she felt the whole world stop––nothing else mattered, nothing else existed as far as she was concerned. His gaze was intense, alternating between surprise, relief, and hunger. His skin glistened under the backlight of the stage lighting and, maintaining eye contact, he drew his tongue lazily across his lower lip. Swallowing thickly, she reluctantly looked away to receive a massive, sweaty hug from Roger.

“Dear god, woman! Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” She smiled against his shoulder, endlessly appreciative of Roger’s friendliness. Pulling back, he ran a hand through his damp hair and looked her up and down, letting out a low whistle. “Wow. Where are you off to?”

“I believe she’s here to see someone. You’d know that too if you weren’t so daft.” Freddie sidled up next to Roger, a vision of rugged beauty in jeans and a simple white tank top. “Miss Katie, an absolute pleasure to behold as always.” He reached for her hand and bent down to give it a chaste kiss, giving her a suggestive wink in the process.

Grinning, Katie did her best to focus on Freddie and not Brian’s overwhelming presence just behind him. “Charmed. I see you haven’t lost your touch just yet.”

“And it seems he never will.” Deaky piped up with a laugh. “It’s good to see you, Katie. Did you like the show?”

“Actually…” she began, unsure of how to explain her predicament. But before she could get another word out, Freddie brushed Deaky aside and began ushering him towards the hallway.

“Come now, we don’t want to bore the lady to death. Besides, I believe she has a matter to attend to.” He conspicuously beckoned to Roger, who, after noticing Brian’s expression, seemed to get the gist and promptly followed the two men out.

Hesitantly meeting Brian’s gaze once more, Katie didn’t realize how close he’d gotten. She opened her mouth to say something, but it was parched beyond belief––she could only squeak out a small “hi” as he took another step closer. He had no qualms about raking his eyes across her body, and it sent shivers through her entire being. Half of his shirt was unbuttoned, and the beautifully exposed skin taunted her with the possibilities.

“Come with me.” His voice, barely above a whisper, caught her off guard, but she readily took his outstretched hand in hers. A smile ghosted across his lips, then he was leading her––nearly pulling her––into the hallway and towards his dressing room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i've had bits and pieces of this chapter written for a while now, so putting it all together was quicker than i thought!  
> not totally sure how i feel about it, however... but i'm sure you'll all have your own opinions on it as well.  
> let me know whether you liked it/think it fits well within their relationship or not––i'm curious
> 
> either way, hope you're all having a wonderful saturday! cheers

_**September 28, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

Excitement coursed through her veins. Katie let Brian steer her down the hall and toward the door with his name, every nerve in her hand on fire with his touch. Her brain lit up with the implications associated with a musician’s dressing room, and to be quite honest, she was more than ready to surrender herself to him. All her inhibitions dispersed immediately upon seeing him again, and it seemed he felt the same way. The gleam of possessiveness she’d seen flicker in his stare moments before only fueled the buds of desire that always seemed to sprout when she was near him. 

Reaching the door, Brian turned to look at her for a moment, eyes softening slightly, before shoving it open. He let go of her hand, allowing her to enter the small, sparsely-furnished room. It wasn’t much—a plush chair, coffee table, and a row of counters underneath the mirrors lined with light bulbs.  _ Pretty cramped for a world-renowned guitarist. _

Hearing the lock click, Katie’s breath caught in her throat. Leaning against the wall across from the door, she fixed Brian with a curious raise of her eyebrow. _Why isn’t he saying anything? Should I say something?_ She saw his eyes darken visibly as they stared each other down, and it sent shivers down her spine. He seemed slightly more muscular since she’d seen him last—years of touring must do that to a man. God, she’d never been _so_ _attracted_ to someone like this before. Katie needed him desperately, every inch of her body beginning to tremble with desire under his gaze. It had been so long but in that moment, it truly felt as if no time had passed. Walking slowly toward her, Brian didn’t stop until he was an arm’s length away. Steadying himself with his hand on the wall above her head, he leaned down until his lips were just inches away. 

“I’ve been trying so hard to forget you.” His raspy voice spoke softly into her ear. She forgot how to breathe as she maintained eye contact, daring him to continue. 

“You consumed my mind for months—your incredible mind, your soft lips, your beautiful green eyes... your impeccable ass.” The sentence ended in a near-growl and it took every ounce of her willpower not to pounce on him right then. “I almost succeeded, too.”

“Almost?” she echoed, doing her best to feign an unaffected composure. Verbal foreplay was her favorite, and she wanted to see how much it would take for him to break. She could already see beads of sweat re-forming on his forehead, his breath against her cheek bated. They shouldn't be doing this—she shouldn't be allowing him to do this. They both knew it was wrong. But was she going to do it anyway?  _ Damn right I will. _

Brian sucked in a breath and closed his eyes as he murmured, a much more vulnerable edge to his tone. “I-I don't know what to do, Katie. Tour drives me fucking insane and I thought I had everything, my life, finally under control, but I...” His quiet, deeply conflicted voice trailed off as he brought his hands to either side of her head, effectively caging her in. Only a few inches separated their bodies, and Katie had to steady herself against the wall to stop from being pulled by the magnetic force his body seemed to have on hers.

“Brian,” Katie began, voice weak with effort. Her thin resolve was deteriorating at the speed of light and she hated how much she loved it. He had her completely under his control.

“I’ve thought about this moment  over and over...” At this, Katie’s lips parted unconsciously, willing him to continue. “I wondered where I’d have you the next time we met.”

She was sure her eyes were bulging out of their sockets.  _ Was he really-? _ Never in a million years would she have pegged Brian May as a dirty talk enthusiast, if that was what he was trying to achieve. “Yeah?” was all she could manage with the limited amount of oxygen in her lungs.

A low hum rumbled in his throat. His lips moved down to hover above the juncture between her ear and throat, sending threads of electricity ripping through her hypersensitive body. She could feel his hot breath on her throat, so deliciously close to connecting with her skin. “In a bathroom, perhaps. Or the back of a bar, hmm. But I must admit, my dressing room was something I imagined frequently.”  _ Jesus.  _ The molten heat spreading across her abdomen was becoming overpowering. Normally, Katie considered herself a fairly dominant person. But the way Brian was talking had her more than willing to give him full reign over her. 

He must’ve sensed the dissolution of her willpower because the next thing she knew, his right hand was on her hip. His thumb began tracing dizzying circles over the thin material of her dress. The simple yet utterly sensual act completely wiped Katie’s mind of all basic motor function, her knees buckling slightly. “Brian…” She was embarrassed at how whiny her voice sounded.

A mischievous smile flitting across his lips, his other hand left the wall to grasp her waist as well, pulling her up and flush against his slender frame. She steadied herself by resting her hands on his chest—she could feel his heart fluttering softly under her fingertips. The cadence of her own heart was so fast, she was certain it was mere moments from flying away and leaving her a quivering mess. “So compliant,” he mused, observing the unintentional arch of her back into his touch.  _ Where is this Brian coming from??  _ Heat spread across her face and she cast her gaze to the ground briefly, attempting to process what was happening. His fingers found her chin and gently tilted her head back up to look at him. “Do you want this?”

“Please.” The soft whimper that escaped her throat was all she could muster, and that was all the confirmation Brian needed. His face blurred in her vision as his lips descended upon hers, the long-anticipated contact sending her heart soaring into the night. He was insistent, lips hot and needy against her trembling ones. Intensity increased with each flick of his tongue––he seemed to know the exact amount of pressure necessary to drive her out of her mind. Katie greedily devoured each kiss, each brush of fingertips against skin. Eager lips wandered down her jaw, nipping and sucking just below her pulse. “Fuck.” The fleeting pain sent pleasure flooding into her brain––he was marking her. Broad hands skimmed underneath her cardigan, gently sliding the material down her shoulders until it fell to the floor. Shivering at the sudden loss of clothing, she welcomed the pressure of his warm hands against her back, pulling her impossibly close to him. She could feel herself being imprinted with the framework of his slim body, each searing kiss feeding the hungry flames of desire lapping at her stomach. Eager to move things along, Katie desperately reached for the waistband of his pants.

“Ah ah.” Before she could make any headway, Brian had her wrists in his grasp and brought them up above her head, pinning them to the wall. Confused, Katie tried to focus her eyes on his face, a question on her lips. “Don’t move them unless I tell you to.” The sudden command elicited a pathetic whimper from her lips. “Okay?” She nodded weakly, yearning for some sort of contact–– _ anything _ . Brian drew out the pause, meeting her eyes with his before dragging them down her body. “Beautiful. Did you wear this for me?”

Drawing her eyebrows together in a frown, Katie’s hips lifted from the wall in an attempt to get closer to him.  _ Please _ . But a hand flashed out, pinning her hips down as well. 

“Answer me, love.”  _ Ohmygod. _

A flush colored her face. “Y-yes.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. 

With a satisfied cluck of his tongue, Brian released her hip––keeping his other hand on her wrists––and traced a single finger up her body. She held her breath as it roamed dangerously close to her breasts, and groaned in frustration when he moved it away again. An infuriating smirk met her pleading gaze. Feeling herself becoming undone beyond repair, Katie wondering how much longer he’d put her through this torture.

“Mm. All dressed up, just for me.” His wandering hand slipped down her side and tugged her skirt up. The graze of fingertips across her inner thigh parted her lips in a desperate pant. Deftly, he hooked the waistline of her underwear in his finger and dragged them down her legs––she did her best to help kick them off until they were carelessly discarded on the floor. “You’re positively soaking, Katie,” he murmured, commanding voice faltering as his skillful fingers slowly moved between her thighs.

“Please…”

Mercifully, he captured her lips once more for an electrifying kiss before bringing the hand that had been teasing her only seconds ago up to cup her chin. Pulling back, Katie watched as his pupils dilated, intently focused on his finger which was now tracing her bottom lip. Testing the waters, she stuck out the tip of her tongue and licked at it gently. His breath audibly choked in his throat and she grinned.  _ Finally _ . Encouraged by his reaction, she timidly closed her lips around the tip, pressing briefly against it with her tongue once more. Locking eyes with him, she watched him as she took more of it in her mouth, swirling her tongue languidly around its length. The unmistakable lust she saw in his eyes rewarded her actions—seeing her effect on him filled her with deep satisfaction. 

“Turn around.” The controlled tone was back, and the words had barely left his lips before she was obeying, twisting herself in his grasp to face the wall. Letting go of her hands, she could hear the familiar sound of a condom wrapper being torn open. “So obedient,” he cooed, a hand snaking around her waist. Face pressed against the wall, she arched back into him. This was taking too long.  _ I need this. _

“Brian. If you don’t hurry up—” Her whine ended in a gasp as he entered her with one swift thrust. Relaxing back onto him, she felt his hands move up her back and to her neck as he began a steady, measured rhythm. It was torturously slow—she needed more.

Moving her hair out of the way, he leaned down to place open-mouthed kisses down her neck, each one timed perfectly with a calculated thrust of his hips. “Needy, are we?” A particularly rough thrust rocked her into the wall and she reached out, fingers seeking something,  _ anything _ to cling onto. “Christ, you feel so good. So good.” The hand in her hair tugged gently and she arched her neck into the feeling.

“Faster, Bri, please.” Katie didn’t know how she managed to get the words out. Rolling her hips back onto him desperately, she felt his hands grip her waist to steady her movements. She groaned in frustration.

“Fuck…” His self-control was unravelling, she could tell. His thrusts were getting more erratic as his dull fingernails dug into the skin beneath her dress. Aroused beyond belief, she shut her eyes and gave her body to his complete control. Each snap of his hips increased the heightening speed—she knew he was close. “Katie, I-”

With a shred of remaining strength, Katie turned her head toward him and reached out to draw his head to hers. He greedily claimed her mouth in a breathless kiss, but it was impossible to do much more than breathe into each other as their moans mingled in ecstasy. One final, powerful thrust and he collapsed against her, panting heavily in her ear. “Jesus, fucking hell—” A shaky hand reached up to caress her face. Cheek still pressed against the cool wall, Katie smiled in contentment. They stood like that for a moment, supporting themselves against the wall, breathing the same breath of air. 

All too soon he pulled out, leaving Katie feeling emptier than before. She turned to face him, grinning at his sated expression. “That was… amazing.” Voice soft, pink began to spread across his cheeks. “I’m sorry. Was that too much? I should've paid more attention to you.”

Shaking her head, Katie laughed. “No! I liked it.” She idly traced her fingers across his chest, admiring the tan his skin held so well. “Just… unexpected.”

“I’ll make it up to you. Promise.” He sealed the vow with a tender brush of his lips against hers. Fingers threading themselves through her bushy hair, he smiled. “I’m so happy you’re here. I missed you immensely… you have no idea.” He rested his forehead against hers.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same.” She found his hand with hers and intertwined their fingers. “What would you say if I suggested we go get some New York street food? I'm starving.”

Excitement flashed in his eyes. “I’d love nothing more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one's a bit fluffier than any i've written so far, i think. but i'm guessing that's alright with you ;)
> 
> i decided to cut it short because i wanted to post something tonight, and this felt like a good place to stop.
> 
> as always, i'm endlessly grateful for all your comments--it's kinda crazy to think that people might have notifications turned on for updates. <3
> 
> hope you're having a wonderful tuesday night!

_**September 28, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

After fixing their disheveled clothing and smoothing their hair into what they hoped looked like a normal appearance, Katie and Brian exited his dressing room, giggling quietly with each other. The afterglow had taken hold of Katie and her head was buzzing softly with the overwhelming feeling of pure bliss. Brian led her, grinning, into the lounge, where the crew seemed to have started the festivities of the afterparty. Champagne bottles exploding, cheers ensued as Freddie carelessly poured the expensive liquid into the many glasses held outstretched, forming a circle around him. Spinning dramatically, he splashed everyone and the ground before tilting it up and downing what was left in the bottle. His antics were met with laughter and applause.

“He gets a bit carried away sometimes.” Katie looked up at Brian, who was examining her surprised face, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “There’s plenty more to spare.”

“Brian!” Freddie, having discarded the empty bottle, caught sight of the two. Parting the crowd of people with a flick of his wrist, he waltzed up to them. “You look right fucked, darling,” he drawled with a smirk, glancing at the fading red marks on Katie’s neck. Before she could sputter out a retort, he continued. “I’m happy for you both, really I am. Now, are you planning on joining us at––oh what is that bloody club called––Paul?”

“Studio 54, I think it was.” A man in a brown leather jacket piped up from the center of the room. He, like Freddie, also sported a prim mustache, but something about his beady blue eyes and dusty blonde hair made Katie feel uneasy.

Freddie clucked his tongue. “Ah yes, silly me. Studio 54. I’m told it’s where the who’s who of anything convenes in one fantastic social orgy. Care to tag along, Katie?” He gave her a wink.

Giving her hand a comforting squeeze, Brian intercepted Freddie’s rather intimidating suggestion. “Actually, we were thinking of going out on the town, get some food maybe. You’ll have just as much fun without us, Fred.”

“Pity. Always such a bore, Maggie. Katie, you’re too good for him y’know.” With a playful jab at Brian’s ribs, he spun off back into the crowd, latching hold of the man he referred to as “Paul” and whispering something into his ear.

There were so many questions swirling in Katie’s mind. “Maggie?” she asked, a confused grin on her face.

Blushing, Brian reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Just an old nickname. Here, let me find Jobby––he’ll kill me if I don’t check in with him first.” Letting go of her hand, he ventured towards the rowdy bunch, a few of the men now busying themselves with a group of eager-looking girls who’d just arrived. She spotted Roger in the midst, splayed on the sofa, arm hung loosely around the waist of a bottle-blonde, cigarette in hand. Feeling very out of place, Katie crossed her arms across her chest self-consciously as she watched Brian talk to a slight, mousey-looking man in the corner. His wavy hair puffed out into a brunette cloud.  _ Was that his personal assistant? _ It amused her that the only other man in the room with curly hair happened to be Brian’s assistant. 

The noise quickly escalated as the champagne took hold of its victims. Maybe in another setting she’d be interested in joining the festivities––she didn’t doubt the extravagance Freddie’s partying entailed––but selfish desires of keeping Brian at her side for as long as possible intercepted any notion of clubbing with wasted rockstars. To her relief, Brian returned momentarily, a sheepish grin on his face. “He said it’s alright, so long as I don’t get kidnapped. And I won’t likely need any disguises, seeing as it’s quite dark out. Oh, can you remind me to call Jobby at some point tonight to check in?”

“Disguises?” Everything else he said evaded her attention. “You wear disguises?”

“Yeah, you should see him in his wig––he looks a right git.” The soft, merry voice of Deaky interrupted their conversation as the man himself entered the room. Apparently he’d taken his time in his dressing room, too, unphased by the cacophony. 

“Oh come off it Deaks, it’s not  _ nearly _ as horrendous as your faux moustache and beard.”

Katie couldn’t hold back her laughter. “Oh my  _ god _ , can I please see these?”

Shooting a slightly annoyed look at Deaky, Brian did his best to avoid her request. “It’s buried somewhere deep in my trunk, I wouldn’t even know where to look. Love, don’t make me do this.” A smile eluded his attempt at a pouty face. “I can show you another time maybe?”

Sighing dramatically, Katie shared a knowing look with Deaky. “Okay, okay, you win. Does that mean we can get going now?”

He leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Yes, I just need to grab my coat.” Turning to Deaky, he added, “you aren’t going to the club with them, are you?”

“I thought I might. Not much else to do around here, from the looks of things.”

This was met with raised eyebrows. “Might want to down a few glasses to catch up with the rest of the lot.” He laughed and departing towards his dressing room. 

Katie and Deaky eyed each other for a moment and she took in his appearance. His hair no longer reached his shoulder blades, and as much as she’d enjoyed that phase, his new closely-cropped style piqued her interest. Combined with the thin black tie and partially unbuttoned shirt, it struck her that he was quite a good-looking man. “Do you guys always go out to clubs after shows?”

“Fred and Rog almost always do, I only make it out some of the time. I get nasty hangovers from champagne, which is the alcohol that seems to be most readily on hand during tours.” He chuckled. “Something about our mentioning of “Moet et Chandon” in a lyric—fans send us hundreds of bottles! It's really quite a sight.”

“Oh goodness, I never considered that. That’s actually kind of hilarious.” Grinning, she uncrossed her arms, feeling measurably more comfortable than earlier. Deaky seemed to have that effect on people.

A warm hand brushed against the small of her back—Brian. “Ready to go?”

She nodded, unable to suppress the smile that rose to her lips as his hand found hers.  _ I’m surprised he’s so… comfortable. Doing this in front of his friends.  _ A sickening thought infiltrated her mind— _ maybe this is a regular occurrence _ . Doing her best to shove the thought as far back in her consciousness as possible, Katie waved goodbye to Deaky as Brian gently steered her toward the door. “It was wonderful seeing you again!”

Waving courteously, he disappeared from her vision as they wove through the drunk party-goers, dodging the occasional flailing limb. The cigarette smoke nearly flooded her lungs, so Katie was relieved when they finally found themselves in the main hallway. 

Coughing pointedly, Brian gestured to the closed door. “I really hate when Fred lets everyone smoke so. It can’t be good for a man.”

Humming in agreement, Katie observed the lobby ahead of them. “I’ve never liked smoking either. Say, aren’t you worried someone might see you out there?”

“Precisely why we’ll be taking the secret exit.” With a conspiring wink, he turned to the right instead and pointed to a barely-noticeable door at the end of the hall. “We’ve had a bit of practice with sneaking about during the past few years.”

“Look at you, a regular Houdini,” she teased. “Seems like I’m in good hands.”

“Mm, indeed you are. Good for many things, in fact.” Voice trailing off suggestively, she felt the hand on her back creep down towards her ass.

“We can’t get distracted—the objective is food, remember?” She slipped out of his grasp coyly and grinned as he groaned. “If I don’t get a hotdog in the next ten minutes, I’m sure I’ll implode.”

“I suppose we better hurry, then. I can’t have you imploding on me!”

 

***

 

“Is this not the most delicious hot dog you’ve ever tasted?” They stood on a desolate street corner, street lights barely illuminating the pavement in front of them. Katie peered over at Brian, who was attempting to fit his condiment-filled hot dog into his mouth as carefully as possible. The delectable flavors of onion, sauerkraut, and dijon overwhelmed her taste buds and she stifled a moan.

“It’s pretty good, yeah,” he mumbled through a mouthful of food. Swallowing, he added, “if I’m being honest, I’ve never had a hot dog before.” 

“What!” Katie almost choked. “Oh my god. You haven’t lived.”

“It’s an American food, you know. Not very popular in England. And I’ve never gone out of my way to find one during tours––I guess I’m not a very adventurous eater.” With a bashful grin, he took another bite. “But I do like this very much. I don’t eat meat very often, but this reminds me why I haven’t gone full-vegetarian.”

Intrigued, Katie tilted her head. “Why vegetarian?”

Shrugging, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Nothing specific, really, just a personal thing. I’m obviously not very good at it.” The night breeze gusted through his hair, sending ringlets floating across his forehead in disarray. He polished off his food quickly, finishing with one massive bite.

Noticing a smear of mustard on his chin, Katie giggled. 

“What?” Swallowing, he followed her gaze. He turned to look behind him, as if to locate the source of her amusement. 

“No, it’s you––you’ve got something on your chin.” Stepping closer, she reached out with her free hand and used her index finger to gently wipe the spot from his skin. “There.” He watched as she stuck it in her mouth, sucking the bitter taste from her finger. 

Eyebrow raised, he brought a hand up to gently tuck a stray hair behind her ear. She gazed up at him for a moment before raising herself up on her tiptoes to steal a quick, soft kiss. “Where shall we go next? Anything in particular you’d like to see of the Big Apple?” Taking the last bite of her hot dog, she crumpled the wrapping into a neat ball, her hunger finally satiated.

“Not especially. I’ve already seen all the things I wanted to see.” He looked pointedly at her and his timid smile went straight to her heart. 

The air began nipping at Katie’s arms, the thin wool of her cardigan no match for the dropping temperature. Shivering, she rubbed her arms in an attempt to subdue the goosebumps. “I could show you my apartment, if you’d like.”

Nodding enthusiastically, his eyes lit up. “I’d love that. Are you cold? You can wear my coat, I have a couple layers underneath.” Before Katie could protest, he was pulling his arms out of the bomber jacket and handing it to her. 

“Thanks.” With a grateful smile, Katie took it from his hands, marveling at the weight. The heavy leather engulfed her petite frame in a warm embrace, muted notes of cedarwood and lavender knit into the seams. Catching Brian’s eyes, she noticed him admiring her. “We can take a taxi. Ready?”

“More than ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all i seem to want to do is write for this fic, which is a problem because it means we're getting closer and closer to the end... it's much nearer than you might think, and i'm not sure how to feel about that tbh. this fic is my baby :') but i guess everything has to come to an end eventually.
> 
> this one's another light, all-around good-feeling chapter for ya. it's what you deserve ;)
> 
> as always, thank you for your comments! they mean more to me than you know

_**September 29, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

“How many apartments can you fit into one building??”

“Shhh.” Katie pressed her finger to her lips, hand on the doorknob to her apartment. She was fairly certain Tess was serious about staying at her boyfriend’s, but she didn’t want to take any chances.

“Sorry.” Brian’s voice dropped to a whisper. “It’s just so different. Aren't you ever bothered by loud neighbors?”

Creaking the door open slowly, Katie peered into the dimly-lit space. “Everyone’s pretty respectful, actually.” Noticing the absence of her roommate’s shoes, she pushed the door all the way open and stepped inside. “We’re in the clear.”

Tentatively ducking under the doorframe–– _ god _ he was tall––Brian scanned the quaint entryway. The place was clean and organized, thanks to Tess’s compulsive cleaning habits. The faint light on the stove in the kitchen cast shadows onto the pastel blue hallway wall ahead. She turned to face Brian, the deep shadows accentuating his deep-set eyes and the soft curve of his lips. “It’s not much, but we got lucky with the location. Not too expensive, not too far away from where either of us work.” Flipping on the switch for the hallway light, Katie noticed the lilies, still sitting on the small table.  _ I should’ve put them in water, shit _ .

Nodding, he shut the door with a soft click. “It’s nice, feels very homey. Much more comfortable than anything I’ve stayed in for ages.” Following her gaze, he caught sight of the bouquet. “Ah. Did you like them? I wasn’t sure which flowers to get. I particularly like white flowers, and lilies are quite pretty, but I––” Katie cut off his nervous rambling by fitting her lips between his. The lingering scent of mustard and onion on his breath, she allowed him to softly part her lips with his tongue before pulling back.

“They’re beautiful. I loved them.” Her words were quiet, mellowed by the obvious care he put into the selection. Relief dissipated into a smile as he slipped a hand underneath the collar of his shirt. “How did you know where to send them, anyway? I… never responded to any of your letters.”

“It actually was quite difficult.” He laughed, looking quite proud of himself. “Originally I thought Roger’s connection with Stacy might be enough. But in the end, after pestering him to contact her, she refused to say exactly where you’d gone. Just said you’d moved to New York.” A sad smile pulled at the edges of his mouth.  _ Oh Stacy. Always with my best interests at heart.  _ “‘Spose she wasn’t too happy with me. Anyhow, at least I had a city. I may have bothered my personal assistant into helping me look for the whereabouts of one Miss Katherine Parker. He did most of the work, if I’m being honest.” She laughed, imagining Brian pouring over telephone book after telephone book. “But we came ‘round eventually, and discovered an employee database for the city newspapers. I had a hunch you’d be working for the New York Times, seeing as it’s the most prestigious branch for miles around.”

Grinning at his implicit compliment, Katie shook her head. “Brian May, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were a stalker.”

A deep blush rapidly tinted his face and he lifted a hand to drum his fingers on his chin. “Now that you mention it, it does seem a bit dodgy. I admit, I let these things take hold of me too often. But I  _ am _ glad I found you.”

Laughing at his honesty, Katie conceded.  “I am too.” Stepping away and toward the doorway on their left, she beckoned for him to follow. “Allow me to give you a quick tour of my humble home. This––” She swept a hand across the rather narrow room, furnished with a blue floral sofa, a gray loveseat, a coffee table, and a small television. “––is our living room. We hope to decorate the walls with a bit of art eventually, but for now this is all we’ve got. Oh, and the bathroom’s right across the hall, just near the entryway.” Pointing back to where they’d just been standing, she added, “It’s a bit of an odd setup, but it works just as well.” Pausing, she waited for him to finish carefully inspecting the windows in the living room. 

“This is quite a nice view, actually. I’m surprised you’re able to see this many stars.”

“They’re much better once you leave the city.” He stalled, peering up through the glass for a moment longer before joining her back in the hallway. “Up there’s the kitchen––” They meandered down towards the dim light emanating from the bulb above the stove. “––and both of our rooms are just here. It’s a bit cramped, but we get by.”

“I think it’s cozy.” Slipping his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, he tilted his head. “Do you happen to have any tea, by chance? I could really go for a cuppa.” 

“Hmm, I think we do. Is black okay? That’s all I keep in stock.” Entering the kitchen, Katie flipped the switch on the wall. The lights slowly flickered to life, the yellow glare that reflected off the linoleum floor assaulting her retinas. 

“That’s perfect.” He leaned against the table near the wall and watched as she rummaged through the cupboards above the counters. 

Finding the rectangular box she was looking for, Katie let out a satisfied “ah-ha” and set it on the counter. “Here we are. Do you want to put the water on? I’m itching to change out of this dress.”

“Certainly. Go ahead.” Pushing off from the table, he took her place near the stove, grabbed the kettle from the burner and brought it to the sink to fill. “Katie, I’m surprised––most of the tea I’ve seen in America have been those rubbish Lipton or Tetley brands. This one here looks quite promising. I didn’t think Indian tea was something Americans knew about, let alone cared to purchase––I’m impressed.”

Chuckling, she stopped under the threshold to respond. “You underestimate me. My roommate introduced me to a wonderful market on Lexington, you should pay it a visit while you’re here! I’ll be back in a moment.” Exiting the kitchen, Katie’s spirits soared. Here she was, living out all the dreams of domesticity involving Brian she had longed for dearly.  _ It’s only temporary _ , she reminded herself, attempting to suppress the giddiness rising in her chest.  _ He’s only here for the night. Enjoy it while you can _ . She intended to do as much.

Shrugging out of Brian’s jacket, she carefully folded it before shimmying out of the tight dress. Feeling quite liberated, Katie opted for the cotton robe normally donned for lounging around after a long day at work. The soft, navy blue material felt like the physical embodiment of her elevated mood, so she deemed it apt for the occasion. Hearing the kettle’s shrill whistle, she quickly wrapped the robe around herself and tied it at her waist before padding back into the kitchen. Brian stood over the stove, two mugs situated on the counter beside him. 

Coming up behind him, Katie slipped her arms around his waist, hugging his body close to hers. She felt the muscles in his shoulders relax as he straightened up and placed his hands over hers, which were resting against his waistline. “I see you’ve found the mugs.”

“Are you ready for me to show you how to make a proper cup of tea?” She detected a teasing note of superiority in his voice.

Scoffing, Katie let go and stood next to him, feigning offense. “You don’t think I know how to make tea?”

His canine teeth made an appearance as he grinned, the tip of his tongue peeking out from the side of his mouth as if to taunt her. “I’m sure you  _ think _ you know how to. But I’m a Brit, meaning I’ve got the ins and outs of tea woven into my genes. Come on, I’ll show you.” Opening the tea box, he took two tea bags and placed them into the mugs. “First you have the bags, yeah? Then you pour in the boiling water.” Taking the kettle from the burner, he began to fill each cup. “Be sure to leave some space for the milk.”

“Milk? You put  _ milk _ in your tea?”

“See, this is what I mean.” The taunting grin was back. “Americans fall a bit short when it comes to tea, I’m afraid.”

“Oh please, don’t be such a smartass.” Rolling her eyes playfully, Katie reluctantly went to the fridge in search of milk. “What’s next? Orange juice?” She garnered a sliver of pride from the fact that she still remembered his favorite drink.

“Now now, don’t be difficult.” She located the half-empty jug and shut the fridge door, turning and placing a hand on her hip in a show of defiance. He seemed to be enjoying her stubborn act as he stood against the counter, eyebrows poised elegantly above his brow, intrigued smile pulling at one side of his mouth. “Alright, fill the mugs up until there’s about a centimeter of space left at the top. Don’t want to accidentally overflow it when you’re squeezing the bag.”

“Okay, now it just feels like you’re making this up just to make me look like an idiot.” She laughed as he observed her pouring of the milk. “Who squeezes a wet tea bag?”

“Ye of so little faith. I promise, you’ll be thanking me once you taste it.” Setting the carton down, she rested her elbows on the counter and brought her head down, level with the steeping mugs. Delicate wisps of steam spiraled slowly up into the air. “It’s the nuances that make all the difference.” She watched as he lifted the first tea bag out of the liquid and gently squeezed it against the ceramic. “How strong do you like your tea?”

“I’ll have it however you usually have it.”

With a nod of approval, he repeated the motions with the second teabag. “Where’s your bin?”

A split second of confusion, and then—“Oh, you mean garbage can? It’s just over there, under the sink.” It amused her to see him have to bend down so far to reach the cabinet door.  _ Lanky boy _ .

Having discarded the depleted teabags, he straightened up and rubbed his hands together. “We’re nearly there. And now for the final step––do you prefer sugar in yours?”

“Sure. It’s just over there, in that container near the window.”

Two generous spoonfuls of sugar were measured out and plopped into each mug. Stirring dutifully, Brian glanced over at her and smiled. “Are you ready for the best cup of tea you’ve ever had in your entire life?”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” With an audacious lift of her nose, she wrapped her fingers around the handle of the nearest mug. Nestling the warm ceramic between her hands, she brought it to her lips and took a tentative sip. A smooth, malty flavor met her taste buds, the milk and sugar softening the bitter bite of the tea.  _ Fuck, this  _ is _ good _ . Not wanting to admit how much she liked it, she shrugged her shoulders. “It is pretty good, I guess.”

“You guess??” As he took a large swig from his mug, all she could see was his bewildered expression, eyes shining with amusement. Setting it down on the counter, he observed her as she continued drinking. “Seems as though you enjoy it more than you’re letting on.”

A sheepish grin broke through her ambivalent façade. “Maaaaybe. Oh alright, I’ll let you win this one. But only because I know you won’t let it go otherwise.” Standing on her tiptoes, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for the authentic cup of tea.”

He reached out to grab her waist before she could return to her drink, pulling her flush against him. Even through their combined layers of clothing, she could feel the heat his body emitted. Running one hand up the side of his neck, she traced the hairline behind his ear towards the back of his neck with her finger. A contented sigh, barely audible, parted his lips. Fixing her with calm, adoring eyes, his hand wandered up the slight curve of her waist. Seeing him so close to her, looking at her with those eyes, Katie lost her breath momentarily. Unable to resist, she sought his lips again, this kiss hungrier than the first. Hands lingering suggestively near the part in her robe, Brian began walking her slowly backwards, tongue persistent against hers as they moved. 

Feeling the table hit the back of her upper thighs, she let go of him to steady herself on the tabletop and laughed. “What are you doing?”

Heat quickly pooled in her stomach as she watched him kneel down on the kitchen floor in front of her, his hands gently pressing her thighs apart. “Making it up to you, as promised.” 

The hem of her robe fell open easily, giving him full access to her. Locking eyes, Brian leaned forward and pressed a tentative lick of his tongue against her clit. Unable to keep her hips still, they reflexively bucked up into his mouth, all the pent-up arousal from the night reawakening, desperate for release. She felt him smile against her as his hands ran up her legs, pressing into her hips to keep them still against the wooden table. A moan formed in her throat as his tongue darted back out, this time swirling around where she needed him most before flattening and lapping upwards in quick succession. “F-fuck…” Unable to keep herself propped up any longer, she laid back and tangled her fingers in Brian’s hair, softly urging him forward. 

“Eager, are we?” She whimpered as he looked up, his nose brushing torturously against her aching clit. “Good things come to those who wait.”

Rolling her eyes, a smile rose to her lips. “Oh my god, Bri, can you please just-!” The curl of his tongue dipping into her shut her up quickly. Rubbing small circles on the sensitive skin below her hip bones, he began licking into her at a slightly faster pace, altering his positioning based on the amount of sounds pouring from her mouth. He was a quick learner, paying close attention to each tense of her muscles, each press of fingertips into his scalp. Tongue hot and insistent against her, she could feel her arousal heighten with each flick. 

She was already ridiculously close, the familiar pulse of desire beginning to overwhelm her senses. He must’ve been able to sense it because he stopped experimenting and focused his tongue with quick, swift upward strokes. Her fingers tightened in his hair, her back beginning to arch off the table in anticipation. Breaths coming in fast, shallow bursts, the last thing she saw was Brian looking up at her, pupils blown, before stars erupted in her vision. Choking back embarrassingly loud cries of pleasure, Katie weakly rode the wave of her orgasm as his tongue slowed to soft, languid movements. 

She lay there for a moment, weak from release, basking in the hazy glow. Feeling him move away from between her legs, she propped her head up to look at him. An outrageously proud grin was spread across his face as he leaned down to meet his lips with hers. Happily satiated, she let his tongue lazily flick against hers, the new levels of intimacy they were achieving not lost on her. She sucked his bottom lip softly with hers before pulling back with a sated smile. “I believe you’ve outdone yourself, Mr. May.”

A hand idly traced an outline of her breasts, falling to rest on her waist. “Perfect. I was hoping as much.” He trailed soft kisses across her forehead. “What do you say about heading to bed?”

She took his hand in hers and hopped off the table. “You read my mind.” Tugging him forward, she laughed at his expression before leading him away from the kitchen and towards her bedroom. Before they made it to her door, Katie spun around, suddenly remembering what he’d told her earlier. “Oh! Shouldn’t you call Jobby,  let him know you’re alright?”

“Shit, you’re right. Thank god for your memory, love.” He kissed her hand before letting it go, looking around as if searching for something. “Where’s your telephone?”

“On the wall in the kitchen, just to the left of the door.” She guided him with her words and he followed her directions, wandering back into the kitchen.

“I shouldn’t be long, I’ll join you in just a moment” Katie could hear the click-clacking of the buttons being pressed, then the muted dial tone of the call. Deciding to change into something less lengthy, she returned to her room and turned on her bedside lamp. Remainders from the morning’s rush to work lay scattered on the floor, and Katie made quick work of tidying the premise. Brian’s soft voice trickled through the crack in the door as she slid her robe from her shoulders, allowing it to pool at her feet before picking it up and hanging it back in her closet. Choosing a comfortable pajama set––an old shorts and tank top she must’ve owned since high school––Katie plopped herself down onto her mattress face-up. Legs spread freely across the covers, she peered over at her alarm clock. 2:13am.  _ Fuckkkk. So much for work tomorrow… _ Normally she wasn’t one to skip work, but she had plenty of sick days to use… Hmm.  _ Maybe I need to sort out my priorities _ , she contemplated with a smirk.  _ Nah _ .

Hearing footsteps carefully padding through the hall, she saw her door creak open. Brian tiptoed into the room, face igniting in a smile when he saw her lying in bed. “I’m so glad you reminded me, I never would have remembered otherwise. Poor Jobby was starting to worry something fierce.” Shirking himself of his spider web vest, he began unbuttoning his shirt, much to Katie’s viewing pleasure.  _ He has grown a bit _ , she mused, noticing the taut muscles in his back ripple as he gave up on the last button and pulled the shirt over his head. 

“I’d worry too, if I was in charge of the livelihood of one of the most famous men in music.” The sparse scattering of dark hair across his chest that trailed down to his waistline seemed so perfectly arranged, and for a moment she wondered whether there was nothing about him she wouldn’t find attractive. 

Unbuckling his jeans, he kicked them off and ran a hand through his hair, standing up to look at her with an embarrassed grin. “Is it alright if I leave my clothes on the floor for the night?”

This made her giggle. “Yes, of course––now quit wasting time and come join me.” She patted the space beside her. 

“Do you play?”

Confused, Katie followed the point of his finger to the corner of her room.  _ Ah _ . There lay her acoustic guitar, most likely collecting dust––it’d been a solid week since she’d last picking it up. “I’ve been trying to teach myself the last couple months, not sure I’d classify it as ‘playing’ yet.” She laughed. 

“Can I try it out?” He waited for her nod, then walked over to the guitar and carefully picked it up. Turning it over in his hands, curiosity flitted across his face. “Looks to be a Hohner. Such a lovely black finish.” Dragging his fingers across the body, he seemed satisfied with his examination. Returning to the bed, he sat down on the edge, crossing one leg over the other in order to face her. 

Katie rolled over on her side to face him. “Are you going to play me something?” 

“Sure. What would you like?”

Despite her growing fatigue, an excited smile spread across her face. She’d seen him perform on stage before, but that was in front of hundreds of people––this was just for  _ her _ . “Mmm. What are your favorite songs to play on acoustic?”

“It varies.” Adjusting the guitar against his leg, he began plucking the strings methodically. Dropping his head to get his ear closer to the sound, he slowly tuned each to his liking. “Usually I enjoy playing older stuff––Buddy Holly, Eddie Cochran, Ricky Nelson, you know the ones.” Seeming satisfied with his modifications, he straightened up and looked at her. “Maybe you’ll know this one.” He cleared his throat and plucked out four notes, followed by another four in similar rhythm. Getting into the groove, he began to hum along. 

“Till There Was You! How did you know I loved the Music Man?”

All he did was smile softly, his intricate fingerwork filling the room with the hopeful melody. 

_ “There were bells, on a hill.”  _

Having relaxed into her pillow, Katie’s eyes widened. She’d never heard his singing voice, at least not by itself. It had a vulnerable quality to it, a beautiful simplicity that melted her heart with its authenticity. 

_ “But I never heard them ringing, no, I never heard them at all, till there was you.”  _

Katie couldn’t stop herself from admiring the focus and concentration he poured into his playing, his head hunched over the guitar. Each note sounded effortless, his fingers dancing gently across the strings, hand moving up and down the fretboard in seamless transitions. 

_ “There were birds, in the sky, but I never saw them winging. No I never saw them at all, till there was you.”  _

Mouth left slightly agape, he began plucking out the solo, occasionally mouthing along with the notes. She wanted to reach out and brush back the curls that framed his face––she couldn’t see his eyes through the dark veil––but she didn’t want to break the spell he was casting over them. 

Serenity cloaked Katie’s mind, lulling her closer and closer to the periphery of sleep. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this genuinely  _ happy _ . The intense feeling enveloped her, filling her with tepid contentment. As her eyelids gradually drooped, she allowed Brian’s tranquil voice to quell the subsiding stream of thoughts in her mind. 

_ “There was love, all around, but I never heard it singing. No, I never heard it at all, till there was you. Till… there was you.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> helloooooo! it's been a minute. i got a bit bogged down with exams/papers so this chapter didn't come to fruition as quickly as the last few. however, i think i'm happy with what i churned out today :)
> 
> i think there might be one more chapter left in this fic... maybe two? oh god. 
> 
> hope you're all doing fabulously! every time i get a notification that one of you have commented on this fic, it absolutely makes my day. you guys are the best :')

_**September 29, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

Fragments of dreams dissolving into her subconscious, Katie’s peaceful slumber was roused by movement beside her. Senses slowly awakening, she stirred underneath the sheets. Not wanting to open her eyes  _ just _ yet, she stayed on her side and attempted to drag her arm out from under her pillow––the unwelcome sensation of pins and needles assaulted her nerves, evoking a tiny groan of discomfort.

Soft fingertips slid up her back, reaching her neck and gently brushing back the tangled hair from her face. “Morning, sleeping beauty.” Instinctually relaxing against his body, a sleepy smile surfaced at Brian’s words. She could feel the warmth radiating from him as his chest pressed against her back. The subtle stiffness of him against her lower back was not lost on her, which amused her and made her smirk.  _ Well. Good morning to you too.  _ “Sleep well?” Delicate lips brushed against the exposed skin on her neck, his hand toying with the hem of her tank top that was slowly riding up her torso. Barely-there stubble scraped deliciously across her skin.

“Mmm.” Squinting her eyes to the mellow light of the morning sun, Katie reached up and blindly found his head behind her with her hand. She felt him smile against her neck as she slowly caressed his scalp and, twisting in his grasp slightly, she stole a quick peck from his lips. “This is  _ much _ better than waking up to my alarm.”

He drew gentle circles on her side with his thumb, sending tingles through her still partially-dormant body. Grinning at her comment, he propped his head up with his hand to achieve a better line of vision. Eyes lidded with sleep, he gazed down at her with a tenderness that made her heart skip a beat. “Can’t remember the last time I slept so soundly.”

The raspiness of his morning voice went straight to the dull ache of arousal beginning to build in her stomach.  _ Does he  _ have _ to say things like that? Jesus _ . “Me neither.” Gently pulling his head down towards hers, Katie held his eyes in her loving gaze for a moment before ever so softly brushing her lips against his. Feather-light kisses progressed as they shed the last remnants of sleep from their bodies, senses now buzzing with excitement. Curious tongues darted between lips, increasing the intensity with each persistent stroke. Brian wasted no time in dipping his hand below the waistline of her shorts, skimming his fingers on the sensitive skin between her hip bones. Giggling against his lips, Katie reciprocated by carefully reaching into his briefs and taking him into her hand. 

He exhaled shakily, momentarily pausing the rhythm they’d built as his eyes fluttered shut. “Christ.” She stroked upwards experimentally, gauging the correct amount of pressure based on the soft keening sounds spilling from his mouth. Tugging her shorts down, his fingers slipped into her with ease, the sudden movement causing her to gasp. They pumped slowly inside her, his thumb grazing her clit with each stroke. Her broken moans echoed his, breaths heavy and low. 

Opening his eyes again, Brian bit his bottom lip, chest heaving slightly as he glanced down at her hand. “As much as I’d love for you to continue, I think it’s in our best interests if you stop.” With an embarrassed chuckle, he gently took her wrist in his hand and brought it up to his lips instead. Ensuring he had her attention, he kissed each of her fingertips softly, observing her with attentive eyes. The sheer intimacy he conveyed through such a simple act… Katie shuddered at his touch.  _ Oh god. I really  _ do _ love him.  _

As Brian sat up to fish around in her bedside table for a condom, Katie absentmindedly trailed her hands across his back. She admired each freckle, each taut muscle. Maybe her subconscious was telling her to memorize each tiny detail of this man while she had the chance.  _ Smart. _ He was beautiful––completely and unequivocally Brian May. And she loved him, she was sure of that now.

Returning to her, he positioned himself between her legs, hands running up her sides and to the hem of her tank top, still intact. She cocked an eyebrow as he flashed a demure smile, but she complied with his silent request by pulling the shirt over her head. Rejoining lips for a moment, Brian held her chin and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Beautiful.”

Afraid of what she’d say if she opened her mouth, Katie fuelled her swell of emotions into one, two, three sizzling kisses. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of the taste of his lips. Hands smoothing over the divot of his collarbone, she helped guide him into her, letting a rush of air escape her lungs at the wonderfully familiar sensation. They relaxed into a comfortably slow rhythm, her legs wrapped around his torso, his forehead resting against hers. His eyes were mesmerizing, and Katie couldn’t look away. The tender passion hidden in their depths seemed to penetrate her very soul and she felt a shred of disappointment when he moved his head away––but only momentarily, because his tongue against her nipple erased every thought from her mind. “Shit. Bri, please, I need––”

He peered up from his position, tongue abandoning her breast as his hips rocked particularly powerfully into her. “Hmm?”

“No, don’t stop.” She groaned at the loss of contact. “Just… Faster, god,  _ please _ .”

Obliging eagerly, he focused his attention on her other breast, tongue in sync with the quickened pace of his thrusts. Burying her hand in his curls, Katie closed her eyes and allowed his touch to saturate her senses. Pleasure was beginning to scorch her stomach as the fire began to tug at her bellybutton. 

“Open your eyes.” Startled from her thoughts, Katie’s eyes flew open. Brian’s face was inches from hers, his hand steadying himself against the mattress to maintain eye contact. Her lips parted with a shallow breath as she held his gaze. “I want to look at you.” He gave no explanation, just snapped his hips into her with persistent speed. A moan clawed at her throat and she wrapped her legs tighter around him, desperately trying to buck her hips into him. His intense gaze only served to fuel her arousal, and soon she was begging for release.

“Please, Bri, I’m so close.” She raked her nails gently across his back, lifting her hips as high as they could go to match his movements. 

Trailing wet kisses down the side of her face and to her neck, his hand caressed the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. “Mmm. Then come for me, love.” 

Katie cried out, feeling a surge of pleasure at his words.  _ Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck––  _ his suction on her neck did her in, and she arched her back off the mattress, fragmented moans pouring from her mouth. Relaxing her trembling muscles back onto the bed, she attempted to regain her breath as Brian finished with a groan, hips jolting sporadically against her as he rode out the high. 

_ Did I really just…? _ Sated euphoria infiltrated her mind and she smiled, amazed at the minimal stimulation it took to get her over the edge. That sure as  _ hell _ hadn’t happened to her before. Beside her, Brian flopped down on his back, still panting from exertion. Turning her head to look at him, she gave him an enormous grin. “Thanks.”

“Thanks? You’re thanking  _ me _ ?” He laughed breathlessly. “Good god woman, I should be thanking  _ you _ .” She giggled, blushing softly. Brushing back the damp curls stuck to his forehead, he lay back on the pillow and slung his arm across her stomach. As if on cue, it let out a hungry growl, causing them both to laugh.

“I suppose we better make breakfast.” Reinvigorated, Katie sat up, clutching his hand in hers.

Brian let out an indignant groan. “But I just laid down… you don’t want to cuddle for just a bit longer?”

“Poor baby.” Katie teasingly patted his cheek. “You can stay if you’d like, but I need food.”

With a huff, he sat up, combing his fingers through his hair. “Oh, alright.” Sliding his feet onto the floor, Brian made a grab for his discarded clothes. “But I get to use the bathroom first.” He took hold of Katie’s waist for a moment as she attempted to walk past him to get to the closet, placing a firm kiss to her forehead. 

Smiling, Katie let him hold her before gently placing her hand on his chest and pushing him away. “You go ahead. I’ll start on the food.” With a low hum of agreement, he wandered out of the room and down the hallway.

Removing her robe from its hanger, Katie hastily tied it around her waist before scooping up her pajamas from the ground. Dropping them into the laundry bin by her door, she exited the room and headed toward the kitchen.  _ What should I make? _ She wondered whether Brian was a picky eater–– _ probably _ . Amused at the thought, Katie padded across the cool linoleum to the fridge, grasping the handle and swinging it open.  _ Eggs! Everyone likes eggs.  _ She grabbed the half-empty carton from the top shelf and set it on the counter.  _ I know he said he tries not to eat meat, but…  _ Reaching for the opened packet of bacon strips, she examined the contents. Satisfied with the amount remaining, she shut the fridge and placed the package next to the eggs. Deciding to cook them in separate pans, she retrieved her most prized possessions––her cast irons skillets. 

“I can take over, if you’d like.” Katie turned to see Brian standing in the doorway clad in yesterday’s clothes, gray shirt completely unbuttoned, hair measurably more tidy. 

“Be my guest. I got everything out––oh, spatulas are in the drawer just at the end of the counter, near the fridge.” She walked past him, giving him a peck on the cheek and a soft squeeze to the arm. “Thank you.”

Exiting the kitchen, Katie made her way to the bathroom, worried about the face she’d see in the mirror. She hadn’t removed any of her makeup from the day before, and Lord knows how fucked her hair was. But once she was standing in front of her reflection, she was surprised at how decent she looked. A bit of mascara smudged around her waterline, but other than that, she looked… good? Lively, even. Grinning to herself, she adjusted the fit of her robe and began pulling her hair up into a bun. “You really let yourself go on this one, Katie,” she chidded herself quietly. “You know he’s gonna have to leave eventually, and you’re gonna be so much worse off…” Twisting her auburn locks up into a ball and securing it with a hair tie, she rolled her eyes at herself. _I thought we decided we didn’t care about the consequences? I’ll be fine_. 

Not wanting to be alone with her thoughts any longer, she went to the living room, intent on putting on a record. It was too quiet––normally there’d be some sort of record playing when she was home. Stooping to scan the meticulously organized record collection that lined the shelves of their small bookcase, Katie selected one of her favorites––”All Things Must Pass,” George Harrison. Its mellow vibe seemed to fit the domestic peacefulness of the morning. Placing it on the player and setting the needle in the grooves, she waltzed back into the kitchen as the first bluesy guitar notes filtered through the air. She was determined not to let her mood be affected by the knowledge that this could––and  _ should _ ––be the last time she indulges in spending time with Brian.

“Do you like your eggs sunny-side up?” Brian, looking up briefly from the two pans that were heating up on the stove, gestured to the eggs in his hands.

“Usually I do over easy, but I suppose I can handle an extra runny yolk.” Joining him at the stove, a delighted grin rose to her lips as she watched him drop a square of butter in the pan before cracking the eggs carefully. “How often do you find yourself making your own breakfast these days? Now that you’re an internationally famous man.” She leaned her hip against the counter, facing him. The eggs sizzled excitedly, color slowly spreading across the translucent whites. 

This made him laugh. “Not often, if at all. But I haven’t forgotten how to make a proper egg. Although, my cooking knowledge is rapidly atrophying––I suppose I am quite spoiled.” A self-effacing grin revealed itself as he contemplated the question.

“Here, hand me the bacon and the tongs, I can start them on this pan.” Taking the items from his hands, she turned the temperature down on the burner before cautiously laying four strips onto the pan, shying away from the grease that began popping in protest. Observing Brian’s amused expression, she poked him in the ribs with her tongs. “Don’t laugh, I could’ve been burned!”

He raised his hands in surrender, still smirking. “You’re cute.”

Blushing slightly, Katie returned her attention to the task at hand. “Are you happy, now that you’ve finally gotten your number one hit in America?” Glancing at him briefly, she continued. “I remember you being a bit hung up on that last time we talked.”

“Well, achieving success America essentially proves you’re really making it big in the rock world. So to answer your question, yes, I am happy.” He grinned and tested the bottoms of the eggs with a spatula, recanting after realizing they were still too soft. “You wouldn’t  _ believe _ how excited we were when the news broke––we hadn’t even finished work on the album, mind you. There we were, heading out to some pub after a long day in the studio, and some bloke came along and told Fred we’d gone to number one in America. Right chuffed, we were. Don’t quite remember the rest of the night, but I do know alcohol was involved.” Chuckling, he succeeded with lifting the eggs from the pan without breaking them. “Do you mind grabbing plates?”

Nodding, she flipped the bacon before reaching above the counter into the cupboards, taking two plates out and setting them on the back burners for better access. Brian slid two eggs onto each plate and turned his burner off. “Those look good,” Katie commented, stomach beginning to growl again. “Oh! We should make toast.” Pointing to the basket on the kitchen table full of bread, she tilted her head at him. “Would you mind?”

He graciously complied, untying a loaf and dropping two slices into the toaster. “Do you normally have time to make such a nice breakfast for yourself each morning?”

That drew a hearty chuckle from Katie. “No, never. I’m not the best morning person. My roommate, Tess, is the kindest soul alive––she makes me breakfast most days. I’m too busy sleeping right until I need to be at work.” Hearing the toaster spring to life, Katie snatched the still-hot slices and added them to their plates. “Here you go.” She handed him a plate and they sat at the small table, pausing their conversation to satisfy their empty stomachs. 

Between bites, Brian asked her about her new life in the city. “How’d you meet Tess? Do you like living here?”

Katie explained that Stacy had a couple residual friends from her childhood spent in New York, one of them being Tess. “She thought we might live well together, and so far, she’s been right.” Taking a moment to chew, she added, “and I do enjoy the city, although it took some time to adapt to the duality of constant busyness and isolation.” Noticing his eyebrow quirk up curiously, she elaborated. “I just mean, New York City is always moving––people are everywhere, all the time. It never sleeps. But despite all the activity, I’ve found that it’s easy to feel alone. It’s hard to meet new people when everyone is operating on their own timelines, uninterested in talking to strangers on the street.” She set her fork down, having finished every last crumb on her plate. Letting out a contented sigh, she absentmindedly watched him finish his bacon. “But I’m not too lonely here. I have Tess, she has some nice friends, and I have a couple coworkers whose company I don’t mind.”

His eyes softened on her. “I know exactly what you mean. Often I find myself surrounded by people––friends, crew personnel, fans––and yet I feel completely isolated. It’s all in my head, I think, and I try to remember that there are people with me that I can talk to. But sometimes that doesn’t feel to be enough.”

Hearing the record stop in the other room, Katie contemplated getting up to flip it over. But she didn’t want his eyes to leave her––the sensitive hazel orbs were mesmerizing. Unsure of how to reassure him of the validity of his feelings, she placed her hand over his. Katie allowed the corners of her lips to curl upwards gently as his hand lifted off the table to meet hers, fingers delicately intertwining. A sense of overwhelming calmness filled the room, and she wondered whether she’d ever feel this comfortable with anyone ever again.

“Katie… why didn’t you respond to any of my letters?”

And just like that, everything came crashing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well shit, here we are. this was a difficult one to write... i cried a couple times. the playlist i made for this fic really does a number on the emotions, lol. i feel pretty good with how i decided to execute this one, i hope i conveyed katie's pov well enough––please please do let me know in the comments what you thought about her reaction.
> 
> while there is a bit of room for an epilogue if i wanted to write one, i think this may be it for this fic. it's kinda surreal––this is my baby. it's the first fic i've ever finished, and i can't thank you all enough for the support you've given me. every single comment, every kudos––especially the few amazing readers who took the time to comment on each upload––i'm so so thankful for you. <3 i'd also like to thank my friends erika, ria, gina, nat, michelle, etc. etc. for all their patience with my constant nagging for their opinions, lmao. i love you guys.
> 
> i'll definitely be working on new projects soon, so if you liked this fic there will be more of my writing on ao3 in the next while. (if you have any requests, i'm definitely open to suggestions)
> 
> i'll shut up now. enjoy!

_**September 29, 1980** _

_**New York City, NY, USA** _

* * *

 

Stiffening at the sudden question, Katie sucked in a quiet breath.  _ How long has he been waiting to ask me this?  _ Not wanting to completely destroy the beautifully isolated environment they’d built for themselves in the protection of her apartment, she tilted her head slightly. “You know why.” It wasn’t a whisper, but her words were so soft her ears barely registered that she’d spoken.

Forehead wrinkling, his hand on hers stilled momentarily. “I don’t believe I do.” 

_ Are you serious…? _ Annoyance slowly creeping through her veins, Katie took her hand back from his. He flinched. “Bri.” Steeling her voice, she did her best to think pragmatically. “You have a wife, a home, and now a  _ son _ . We… shouldn’t even be seeing each other now.”

“I thought we talked about this––”

Softness forgotten, Katie bit back. “Yes, exactly––we’ve talked about how you love your wife, about how I’m just some mistake you’ve made on tour, a repeated mistake.” She was  _ really _ angry now. Brian reaches out, pain etched across his face, but before he can say anything, Katie continues. “Do you expect me to not have feelings about this? To just… be okay with whatever it is that we are? I just… can’t. I’ve tried, Brian, I really have––but I  _ can’t _ . You really want to know why I didn’t write you back?” Staring at him pointedly, she nearly felt bad for how small he looked in his chair. Nearly. “It’s because I wanted to try to move on with my life.”

He was biting his lip now, fingers nervously toying with the collar of his shirt. This was a new look for him––Katie had never seen him look so dejected, so  _ miserable _ . “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean… I never intended––look, when I said those things… oh fuck.” Unable to find the words to finish, he closed his eyes, breathing slowly.

“We just can’t keep blinding ourselves of the impossibility, the  _ lie _ that is our relationship.” The prelude to tears began welling behind her eyes as she spoke. “Just… please don’t keep subjecting me to this. My heart can’t take much more.” She despised it, but there remained a tiny glimmer of hope in the back of her mind that he might tell her that she’s wrong, that he’s leaving his wife, that they can try to be together for real. But he just stays silent with his head bowed, looking up at her, eyes brimming with anguish. 

“I love you, Katie.”

The pain that ripped through her was  _ visceral _ . No amount of self-control could’ve prevented the tears from spilling down her cheeks. “I love you, too.” Not wanting to face him, Katie looked down at her lap and cried. Those three words, the words she desperately wanted to hear from him all these years, the words she held back from saying to him every minute since they reunited backstage… They took her completely off-guard. Hugging her arms to her chest, she blinked through her tears to glance up at Brian. He was leaning forward, arms resting on his knees, eyes trained gently on her. She noticed tears slowly trickling down his face, too. Reaching out to him, her bleary eyes barely made out his hand carefully grasping hers before he pulled her into his lap. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she gratefully rested her head on the crook of his shoulder, allowing his arms to encompass her in a warm embrace. Sobs softly shook their bodies as they clung to each other, his hand slowly stroking her back, her fingers caressing the nape of his neck. 

“I want to be with you, I really, really do.” The quiet brokenness of his voice against her ear made Katie whimper, renewed currents of pain coursing through her body at his words. “But I can’t leave my family, not now. They’re my foundation––they keep me grounded.” The final nail in the coffin. 

She felt his hand thread itself through her hair, gently massaging her head.  _ You knew this was going to happen, Katie. Get it  _ together,  _ goddammit.  _ “Then we can’t keep seeing each other.” She mumbled into his neck, scared of what she’d see if she sat up to look at him. “After this… it’s over. It needs to be over.” 

Suddenly his hand cupped her chin and he lifted her head to face him. She trembled slightly at the sight of the redness in his eyes, the ghosts of tears on his cheeks. A brief hint of protest indented his brow before he responded, voice laden with remorse. “I know. I’ve been disgustingly selfish. As much as I want to deny it, as much as I despise it, I know you’re right. God, I hate when you’re right.” 

Somehow this drew a small laugh from Katie and she smiled pathetically, wiping the residual tears from her eyes. “Sometimes I wish I’d never met you.” Hurt gashed his features, tearing the sad smile from his lips. “But the worst part is, despite all the pain, all the emotional and mental tolls… I can’t find it in myself to feel anything but love and gratitude for you, and I don’t understand it.” Inhaling shakily, her eyes plead with his.

“Oh, Katie.” His voice is barely audible. Lifting a hand to touch her cheek, Brian traced a finger down the residual trails of tears on her skin. Sniffing quietly, she leaned into the touch, yearning for his comfort. Then his lips were on hers, tender and begging for forgiveness. Giving herself in to him, she allowed him to kiss her again and again, her hands grasping the lapels of his shirt for dear life as he invaded her every sense. It was all too much. After a moment she pulled back, lips tingling, heart aching. 

“I’ve never met anyone quite like you.” Brian offered a sad smile, keeping his thumb on her cheek, stroking softly. “Even after traveling the entire world, again and again.”

“Don’t say that.” Her mouth didn’t know whether to frown or smile, so it quivered between the two. “Stop being so eloquent with words all the time.” She couldn’t help giggling at his expression, marveling at the fact that she could still find it in herself to laugh. Grinning, his watery eyes blinked timidly, searching her eyes for something––she wasn’t sure what. Her hands trailed up his chest, coming to rest on his shoulders, and she distractedly began connecting the sparse smattering of freckles with the trail of her finger tip.

“I suppose I ought to ring Jobby to send a car for me.” Seeing the surprised hurt flash across Katie’s face, he hastened to add, “we planned to rehearse at three o’clock, just for bit of security going into the next night at Madison Square.” Nodding meekly, Katie slid off of his lap, knees almost buckling at the sudden need to carry her bodyweight. She stepped away to give him space to stand up, watching as he stretched his lanky arms over his head before giving her a watery smile. 

“You know where the phone is. I’ll be in the living room.” She lingered briefly in the kitchen before forcing herself to leave, footsteps amplified by the stark silence that pervaded the apartment. She didn’t like it, and intended to do something about it. Reaching her turntable, she took one look at the George Harrison record before removing it and placing it back into its sleeve.  _ The mood for  _ that  _ is long gone.  _ Scanning her collection once again, she felt pulled towards her well-loved Nick Drake record––“Pink Moon.” Without a second thought, she pulled the record out and placed it on the player, dropping the needle onto the vinyl. Acoustic guitar filled the room, his airy voice pairing the strumming perfectly with its melancholic tone. Katie numbly sat herself down on the couch against the wall, the sound of Brian’s voice drifting across the hallway.  _ This is it _ , she thought to herself.  _ He’s leaving. Leaving for good. _ Bringing her knees up onto the couch, she hugged them to her chest and tried to subdue all the thoughts waging war in her mind.

_ “And I was strong, strong in the sun _

_ I thought I’d see when day is done _

_ Now I’m weaker than the palest blue _

_ Oh, so weak in this need for you.” _

A single tear escaped her eye at the poignant lyrics. Her body felt like a shell of its former self, devoid of all meaning. She wanted to curl up on the couch, fall asleep, and never wake up. Shoulders softly shaking, she rested her forehead against her knees and closed her eyes, attempting to steady her breathing and quell her tears.

“Katie.” Startled, she looked up to see Brian standing in front of her, hand outstretched invitingly toward her. With a sniff, she took his offer and allowed him to pull her off the couch and gather her into his arms. She let herself melt into him, pressing her face into the warmth of his chest. Breathing in his signature oaky scent, she wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed her hands into his back, attempting to pull him as close to her as humanly possible. Keeping on hand on her lower back, the other rested on her head, fingers stroking her hair back from her face. They stood like that, completely intertwined, swaying to the music. A gentle hum rumbled in Brian’s chest––Katie could feel the vibrations travel through his body and into hers. 

There was so much she wanted to say––so much she wanted to ask––but she couldn’t find the strength to open her mouth to voice a coherent thought. All she could do was give herself into his touch, his arms keeping her grounded against him. The soft flutter of his heartbeat under her ear brought a small smile to her lips. His humming continued as he began drawing his fingers in comforting figure-eights across her back.

A shrill car horn from outside the window roused them from their trance. Katie pulled back and looked questioningly at Brian, fear beginning to creep into her veins.  _ Was that…?  _ He glanced toward the window then back at her, grimacing. “That’ll be Neil.”  _ Fuck. No. No! _

“Okay.” Her throat felt as though it were full of cotton balls––Katie was surprised if he heard her at all. Shaky hands lingered on her for a moment before he stepped away, slowly walking toward the door, eyes beckoning for her to follow. Her legs moved robotically, no longer under her control. Then they were at the door, standing opposite each other. She remorsefully took note of the lilies still sitting on the entryway table––their once immaculate white petals were now beginning to droop, brown beginning to tarnish their beauty.  _ How fitting. _

“Brian, I–” She couldn’t get more than a word out before his hands were on her cheeks, guiding her mouth toward his. His lips fit between hers perfectly, each kiss infused with more passion than anything she’d felt before. Desperate to pour her every emotion into him, to show him how truly and deeply she cared for him, Katie answered each brush of his lips with equally charged kisses of her own. She quickly became dizzy from the intensity and stepped away, breathing heavily. Their time was up––he had to leave. And there was nothing she could do about it. Heart racing, she allowed him to hold her hands in his one last time, allowed him to fix her with his soul-searching stare one last time. A bitter twinge of pain pierced her heart as she realized how accustomed she’d become to his presence. Every single detail of him was permanently seared into her mind––his nostrils and the way they flared each time he sighed, the bridge of his nose and the way it’s angled slightly more to the left than the right, his soft lips and his tongue that darted out to wet them before he spoke, his extra-pointy canine tooth she affectionately dubbed his “vampire tooth” and the way it stuck out each time he smiled extra wide… 

“I suppose this is goodbye.” He tugged on her hands, pulling her close to his body once more. She shivered under his gaze, the thin material of her robe powerless against the ice that was beginning to fill her bloodstream. 

Nodding weakly, she blinked rapidly, determined to keep her tears at bay. Forcing a smile to her lips, she reached up to give his cheek a playful pat. “Go get ‘em tonight, tiger. And the next night. And each one after that. I know you’ll do wonderfully, you always do. I’ve never met someone so dedicated to what they do.”

Blushing at her praise, he chuckled. “I’ll do my best, love. Please… take care of yourself. You deserve happiness, not some selfish git like me.” 

Grinning stupidly, Katie shook her head. “Don’t say that. I love you. So much.” She bit her lip to stop it from trembling.

“Christ, I love you too. I love you, I love you. Please don’t ever forget that.” Unkempt curls spilled onto his forehead as he looked down at her, cheeks flushed with emotion. 

Another wretched honk.

His hand reached for the doorknob and Katie wanted desperately to push him away, to lock the door, to keep him for herself for just a minute longer. But instead she just stood there, watching as he opened the door and crossed the threshold. She leaned against the doorframe, attempting to conceal the nausea that was quickly consuming her insides. 

Turning back, he hesitated for a moment. His lips parted as if he wanted to speak, but he shut them just as quickly. Raising his hand in a dispirited wave, he mouthed one more “I love you,” miserable eyes lingering on her, before turning and walking down the hallway. Only once his hair disappeared from view down the stairs did the pain seize her. Slumping against the wall, she slid slowly down until she hit the floor, eyes staring blankly ahead.  _ He’s gone. He’s really gone. _ She wanted to cry, but her body was in such a stake of shock that she couldn’t even manage to blink. Sure, she’d believed each time before was the last time she’d see him––but this time was different. He had said he loved her. He  _ loved _ her. So she wasn’t just some tour shag, afterall.  _ Or did he say that to all the women he seduced on tour? _ Frustrated, she hugged her knees to her chest.  _ No. That was genuine. He’s genuine. No one’s that good at acting. _ “Fuck.” She wanted to scream, but instead she just closed her eyes and allowed herself to give into the deeply inviting throes of sleep.

 

***

 

“Katie. Katie!” Jolting awake, Katie blinked sleepily to see Tess bent down in front of her. “Katie, darling, what happened? Why are you here and––why is the door open??”

Confused, Katie glanced at her surroundings. “I, um…” Feeling wetness on her cheeks, she lifted a hand to touch her face carefully.  _ Why am I…? _ It all came flooding back to her with blinding speed. Scrambling to her feet, she stood in front of a thoroughly perplexed Tess. “Where is he? Did he really leave? Oh god, oh god.” She clapped a hand to her mouth.

Setting her purse down on the floor, Tess only had to open her arms before Katie flew into them, clutching onto her friend for dear life. Her body was wracked with sobs for what felt like the millionth time today as Tess rubbed her back soothingly. “There, there. It’ll be alright. Can you tell me what happened?” 

Gasping through her tears, Katie drew back to look at her friend. “Brian he… he left, for good. It’s– it’s over.”

Tess’s soft features scrunched in sympathy. “Oh Katie. I’m so sorry. Shit. Was he an asshole about it?”

Katie shook her head and laughed deliriously. “No. He couldn’t be an asshole if he tried. I’m–I’m the one who decided to end things.”

Reaching out to rub her arm, Tess did her best to console her. “That must’ve taken a lot of guts. You’re so strong Katie, it’s not easy to do something like that.”

“I don’t feel strong.” Wiping her tears on her already-drenched sleeve, Katie took a deep breath. She needed to get ahold of herself. “I… I think I’m gonna call Stacy.”  _ She’ll know what to do. She always does. _

Eyeing her carefully, Tess nods. “That sounds like a good idea. I’ll just be in my room if you need me, okay?” She took one more cautious glance at Katie before gathering her things and making her way down the hall.

Grateful for Tess’s ability to detect her desire for privacy, Katie wandering into the kitchen. Her hand lingered on the phone on the wall for a moment. What was she going to say?  _ Hey, Stacy, I just ended things with Brian––no, for  _ real _ this time, I promise. _ Cringing at herself, she pulled the receiver off the hook and pressed it to her ear as she dialed the number. 

“Hello?”

“Stacy.” Katie let out a breath of relief at her friend’s voice. 

“Katie? Is something wrong?”  _ She’s nothing if not perceptive. _

“No. Well, yes, sort of… Stacy, I–I ended things with Brian.”

She heard a sharp inhale through the speaker. “Shit, Katie. You’re serious? Are you okay?”

“No.” Her voice trembled and she willed herself to keep it together. “Not really. Stace I just… I don’t know what to do.”

“Forget about that fucker, for one–”

“He told me he loves me.”

“He did WHAT?” Katie had to hold the phone away from her ear for a moment as Stacy let loose into the receiver. “What the hell?? That little bitch. If I was there–”

“No, no, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not really, but some part inside of me feels validated now. As if I wasn’t his mistress all along.” Laughing bitterly, she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “You know? I don’t regret it but… god, I don’t know what to do now. I was meant to go to work today but I didn’t… and I really don’t know if I can handle going back tomorrow. There’s just so much to process.”

“Take your time.” Stacy’s voice was pragmatic and calming, just what Katie needed. “Hell, you could even come visit me for a day or so. I know you have sick days to use, you always do.”

Grinning, Katie nodded before realizing Stacy couldn’t see her. “Yeah. Maybe I will. That honestly sounds like just what I need.”

After a brief pause, Stacy’s voice returned, measurably softer than before. “Katie. Do you still have the letters he sent you?”

_ Shit _ . “Yes… Yeah, I do.”

“Those need to go. If you want to move past this man, you can’t have things like that laying around. I know you, and no matter how hard you try, you won’t leave things like that alone.”

Katie  _ hated _ how well her friend knew her. But… getting rid of the letters? She hadn’t considered that. “Are you suggesting…”

“It doesn’t matter how you get rid of them. Just as long as you’re not able to physically obtain them anymore, that’s the goal, I think.” 

Conflicting thoughts swirled through Katie’s mind. On one hand, she wanted to hold onto the small piece of him she had left in her possession. But she also wanted to start anew, attempt a fresh slate. She tried burning them once before, but that failed terribly.  _ Fuck _ . 

“Katie? You still there?” Stacy’s worried voice brought her thoughts back to the phone call at hand.

“Yes, I’m here. I suppose you’re right. I’ll… I’ll try to do that. Then I’ll pack my things and be at yours in about two hours. Is that okay?”

“Definitely. I can’t wait to see you. And Katie… you’ll get through this. You always do.”

They bid each other farewell and Katie hung up, mind still trying to compute exactly what she just agreed to do. She made her way to her room, doing her best to ignore the rumpled sheets, remnants of her perfect morning.  _ Was that really only this morning? _ It felt like ages ago.

Reaching her desk, she begrudgingly opened the drawer containing the items she was looking for. She stared at the faded cream of the envelopes for a moment before gingerly picking up the stack in her hands. There were only three and yet they felt extremely heavy, weighing her down with their contents. Anger flared in her stomach for a split second before tired resignation overruled it. She loved him, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to stop loving him. But keeping something like this would only serve to hurt her further. It needed to be a clean break.

Returning to the kitchen, Katie fished around in their ‘miscellaneous’ drawer before finding what she was looking for––a pack of matches. Taking a deep breath, she brought the letters to the sink, setting them on the counter and taking out the first match.  _ Wait, fuck. What am I doing? _ Setting the match down, she brought her fingers to her temples, massaging slow circles.  _ This is all I have left of him. I can’t… _ Suddenly compelled to read them once more, she removed each folded sheet and set them on the counter, carefully smoothing them out. As she poured over each elegantly slanted word, the tiniest of smiles appeared on her lips. His sincerity, his overthinking, his insecurity, all spelled out on the paper before her. He wrote these for  _ her _ ––and only for her.  _ But it’s time to let him go. _ A gentle voice in the back of her mind reminded her of what she’d known all along––regardless of how much she wanted to keep the idea of him alive, it was unhealthy and she knew it. It was time to say goodbye, for real this time.

Dragging the tip of a match along the side of the box, she watched as sparks flew and it lit up, a tiny orange flame greedily lapping at the air. Before she could second-guess herself, she lifted up the first letter and slowly moved the flame until she was holding it beneath the corner of the envelope. The flame leapt up, making contact with the paper. Beginning to curl, the edge quickly darkened, the flames moving slowly up toward her hand. She bit her lip as she watched his handwriting become devoured by blackness. It was oddly liberating. At the last second, she dropped the remnants of the letter into the sink before it could burn her.  _ One down. Two to go. _

As the second, and then the third letter slowly disintegrated into ash, Katie fondly recalled meeting Brian for the first time. 

 

> _ He flashed her with a pensive look. “I’m assuming you’re one of Pete’s girls then?”  _
> 
> _ Blushing slightly at his assumption, she corrected him: “Oh! No, I’m actually here with one of my friends––Stacy? She knows Ian, and she wanted to catch up with him after the show.”  _
> 
> _ That drew a chuckle from him. “‘Catch up’, huh. So that means you’ve been nominated to do all the heavy lifting, does it?” His hazel eyes glittered with amusement. “I’m Brian May, by the way. I’d shake your hand but–” he looked down at his full hands. Finally, a name to put to the face. _
> 
> _ Katie positively beamed back at him. “I’m Katherine Parker, but my friends call me Katie. I really enjoyed your show,” she started, trying her best not to sound like a crazed, teenage fan. “I haven’t seen anything like it. The way you incorporated the smoke and lights to create the atmosphere for your songs was genius.” _
> 
> _ “Katherine.”  _

 

Smiling softly at the memory, Katie felt her eyes begin to prickle with tears again. These tears were different, however. An eerie sense of peace filled her, quieting her overactive mind. She had loved. She had grieved. She had reconciled. Now, she could move forward, equipped with memories of one of the most unforgettable experiences she’d ever have with one of the most incredible men she had the pleasure of knowing. 

It was time, she knew it was. And, goddammit, she was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a spotify playlist that i update with each chapter—feel free to listen along! https://open.spotify.com/user/1258026996/playlist/3xgoelTqxwTaRrSnPyCCUl?si=pvi5CougQQ-u3cFu09QAtQ
> 
> you can also find me on twitter as @brianmayfucks :)
> 
> update: i've begun uploading this fic on wattpad! go show it some love ;) https://my.w.tt/brfW403LYU


	20. Author's Note

Hello! 

I wasn't sure how else to pose this question to my audience without adding it as an additional chapter to this work, so apologies for the lack of content in this update. 

I've been toying with lots of ideas for writing projects to tackle for the past few weeks, and one of the concepts that has come to mind is the possibility of rewriting this fic, only this time from Brian's POV. Originally I chose to write this from the OC's POV because that was a lot less intimidated and I wasn't sure I could portray Brian as accurately as I'd like. But I've gotten more confident in my interpretation of his intricacies in the 70s, so the idea's been buzzing in the back of my mind for some time now.

I guess I'm asking: would any of you be interested in reading that? If so, should I add the chapters onto this fic, or make a new work altogether?

——also, if you have any other ideas for fics/one-shots you'd be interested in reading, feel free to comment those as well. I'm open to suggestions! :)

Regardless. Thanks for all of your kind feedback and support with my writing, it truly means the world to me. <3


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